penises - Page 2

This Woman Uses Nike+ To Draw Penises, Inspires Me To Start Running

I hate running with a fiery passion. But thanks to one genius woman who has turned her exercise misery into something inappropriate, I am now inspired to lace up my old sneakers and sprint my little heart out. There’s nothing like hitting the pavement knowing that the calories you’re burning will eventually form a dick… More »


Janet Sees A Dick Pic For The First Time, Quickly Looks At 88 More

Meet Janet. Janet, bless her heart, has never seen a dick pic. (It’s unclear whether she’s seen a dick in real life, but I’m guessing yes.) Some may call her lucky, but I think it’s a shame. I have four dick pics on my phone right now. (I’m not bragging — most of them are… More »


Dude, Where’s My Dick? One Man’s Routine Circumcision Goes Very Wrong

You know how sometimes you go to the hairdresser asking for just a trim, but you worry that they’ll get chop-happy and cut off more than you asked for? Well, imagine that happening to your penis.

A man named Johnny Lee Banks Jr. recently went to the hospital for a routine circumcision (in… More »


True Story: I Prefer Small Penises

I wish more men were like Nick Gilronan, winner of last year’s Smallest Penis in Brooklyn contest (this year’s contest is this Sunday, aka Father’s Day). He is proud of what he’s got between his legs, so much so that he was willing to stand almost naked, wearing just a mankini, in front of a… More »


We Should Obviously All Go See This Documentary About A Penis Museum Called “The Final Member”

Who needs Iceland’s beautiful scenery and hot springs when you can visit The Icelandic Phallological Museum instead? The Reykjavik museum is the world’s most diverse (and only?) penis museum, housing specimens from every mammal in the country. … More »


8 Times When It’s Really Not Necessary To Send A Dick Pic

Job hunters, here’s one way to guarantee you will not find employment: attach a dick pic with your resume. We know this because, well, common sense, and a man in Dallas went ahead and tested this method out. His, um, credentials did not land him a job offer, but did earn him a class C misdemeanor… More »


The World’s First Exploding Penis Popsicle Has A Creamy, Sherbet Center

We can thank GB Glace, a Swedish ice cream company, for their new popsicle known as the X-Pop. Perhaps they should have called it the XXX-Pop, because although the company insists that it’s supposed to be a rocket ship-esque popsicle perfect for kids, Swedish parents know what it really looks like: a penis. Making matters… More »


Performance Artist Steven Cohen On Trial For Walking A Cock With His C**k

South African performance artist Steven Cohen is currently on trial in Paris for a piece of he performed last year in front of the Eiffel Tower. Performance art as a medium is known for being edgy and pushing boundaries, but French authorities think Cohen took it a little too far when, dressed in a corset, platform shoes,… More »


Reddit Presents The Man With Three Balls (NSFW)

Step right up, step right up! See the rarest penile anomalies in the world with the touch of your fingertips. Man with two dicks, step aside. The latest sexual sideshow attraction on Reddit is the E.T., the man with the extra testicle. User GardenofGandalf  waited until his 18th birthday, which was yesterday, to debut aMore »


11 Reasons You’re Not Getting Any Blowjobs

Show us a man who doesn’t want more blowjobs, and we will show you…a man we’ve never met. Guys, we are picking up all the hints (even the ones you think are super subtle). We know that if it were realistic, you would like us to blow you all day and night (well, for 4More »


Shailene Woodley Gifted Jimmy Fallon With A Phallic Horseradish

Shailene Woodley continues to be her usual adorable, foraging, wood nymph self, appearing on “The Tonight Show With Jimmy Fallon” last night and gifting the host with his very own large phallic horseradish. Have we mentioned we love her? We love her.

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10 Things We Love About Chubs

As much as we appreciate the obvious benefits and abilities of a rock hard cock, there’s something about a chub — a soft, malleable, half-erect penis — that makes it our second favorite penis form. Is it the shape? The texture? The fact that it hasn’t committed to anything yet?  The appeal of being able to decide… More »


10 Of The Artsiest D**k Pics You’ll See On Pornstagram (NSFW)

Pornstagram is just what it sounds like — an app that lets you crop, filter and share the NSFW pictures that Instagram won’t allow. Created last July by French web developer Quentin Lechemia, his hope was that the ability to apply filters to naked pics would make people less ashamed and more excited to send… More »


Nothing Says Romance Like 365 Penis Pics

In February 2013, when his wife bought a white board, one loving husband committed to christening it daily with drawings of penises. Faithfully, YouTube user 365DaysOfPenises kept his word and shared his artistic vision with the world in the form of a video. He even left a note to his wife: “The real challenge would… More »


Electric Condoms: Coming Soon To A Penis Near You

It looks like a wool sheath, but it’s a prototype of an electro-condom called the “Electric Eel.” That can’t be comfortable to put in a vagina. [Nerve]
Everything you wanted to know about penis size and orgasms. [Em&Lo]
A shockingly high percentage of men want the women they date to resemble the… More »


11 Naturally Occurring Instances Of Tree Porn (SFW)

You might not have noticed, but trees can be seriously sexy.  Especially after inclement weather has its way with them. Who can say how this human-like branch person ended up humping a trunk, all we can do is marvel at the power and majesty of Mother Nature, pervert that she is. Click through to see… More »


Did Pharrell’s Grammy Hat Turn You On? Plus, Some Thoughts On Foreskin

Debate this: sex with Pharrell Williams with or without his Grammy hat? It does kind of look like a dickhead. [The Gloss]
A naked man walks into a bar with a bag full of didos. It’s not a joke, it really happened. [Huffington Post]
How to politely decline when your partner wants to do… More »


The 9 Types Of Penises You’ll Meet In Real Life

When it comes to sex, there are certain things you can never be prepared for. Like, the first time a man unpacks the goods and you see something you really weren’t prepared for down there. Are his balls the size of grapefruits or is his penis just really tiny? Every penis is unique, but some… More »


‪An Open Letter To The Man With His Penis Exposed At The Whole Foods Salad Bar‬

Dear Whole Foods Shopper,

I first noticed you walking slowly behind me as I rounded the hot bar buffet at the Union Square Whole Foods. I always notice when there is someone hovering dangerously close behind me. I like my space while I decide what I’m going to fill my recycled carton with… More »


Man With Two, Fully Functional Penises Wants To Use Them On James Franco

Hazel Jones, the woman with two vaginas, became old news the moment the man with two penises agreed to do a Reddit AMA. DoubleDickDude, who describes his two penises as both “100 percent functional,” explained to curious Redditors that he was born with a condition called Diphallia and “did NOT absorb a twin.”(If you think… More »


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