Meet Janet. Janet, bless her heart, has never seen a dick pic. (It’s unclear whether she’s seen a dick in real life, but I’m guessing yes.) Some may call her lucky, but I think it’s a shame. I have four dick pics on my phone right now. (I’m not bragging — most of them are old. I never throw away dick pics. That’s the first rule of Dick Pic Club.) Janet’s friends thought it was a shame too, so they put together a slideshow of 89 dick pics for Janet to click through and comment on, which she does in the video above. Hey Janet, I’ve got numbers 90, 91, 92 and 93, if you want ‘em. [via The Hairpin]
I wish more men were like Nick Gilronan, winner of last year’s Smallest Penis in Brooklyn contest (this year’s contest is this Sunday, aka Father’s Day). He is proud of what he’s got between his legs, so much so that he was willing to stand almost naked, wearing just a mankini, in front of a crowd and strut his stuff. He told an interviewer, “The size of a man’s penis does not matter for who he is as a person or in a relationship,” and I wholeheartedly agree. See, I prefer guys who are a little less endowed, with good reason. Firstly, the best lovers I’ve ever had have been on the smaller side, which I don’t think is a coincidence. My hunch is that because these men feel self-conscious about their size (all of them told me as much at some point), they go out of their way to make up for it, excelling at oral sex and making good use of their fingers as well as positions like doggy-style. Keep reading »
Job hunters, here’s one way to guarantee you will not find employment: attach a dick pic with your resume. We know this because, well, common sense, and a man in Dallas went ahead and tested this method out. His, um, credentials did not land him a job offer, but did earn him a class C misdemeanor for “obscene display or distribution” of his penis. Keep reading »
We can thank GB Glace, a Swedish ice cream company, for their new popsicle known as the X-Pop. Perhaps they should have called it the XXX-Pop, because although the company insists that it’s supposed to be a rocket ship-esque popsicle perfect for kids, Swedish parents know what it really looks like: a penis. Making matters worse, the pensicle’s special selling factor is that it has a creamy, sherbet center that “pops” in your mouth. Oh, my… Keep reading »
South African performance artist Steven Cohen is currently on trial in Paris for a piece of he performed last year in front of the Eiffel Tower. Performance art as a medium is known for being edgy and pushing boundaries, but French authorities think Cohen took it a little too far when, dressed in a corset, platform shoes, and feather headdress, he put a live rooster on a makeshift leash and attached it to his penis. Yes, he walked a cock with his cock. Keep reading »
Step right up, step right up! See the rarest penile anomalies in the world with the touch of your fingertips. Man with two dicks, step aside. The latest sexual sideshow attraction on Reddit is the E.T., the man with the extra testicle. User GardenofGandalf waited until his 18th birthday, which was yesterday, to debut a photo of his tritestes. His mother must be so proud! You can see the very NSFW picture of his junk after the jump. Keep reading »
Show us a man who doesn’t want more blowjobs, and we will show you…a man we’ve never met. Guys, we are picking up all the hints (even the ones you think are super subtle). We know that if it were realistic, you would like us to blow you all day and night (well, for 4 hours and 19 minutes to be exact), and trust us, we’re probably obliging as often as we can. But if you find yourself chronically blowjob-less and aren’t sure why, well, we must be blunt: the problem’s not us, it’s you. There are many ways that guys sabotage their chances for a little oral action, many of which are easily fixable. Here are a few of them… Keep reading »
Shailene Woodley continues to be her usual adorable, foraging, wood nymph self, appearing on “The Tonight Show With Jimmy Fallon” last night and gifting the host with his very own large phallic horseradish. Have we mentioned we love her? We love her.
As much as we appreciate the obvious benefits and abilities of a rock hard cock, there’s something about a chub — a soft, malleable, half-erect penis — that makes it our second favorite penis form. Is it the shape? The texture? The fact that it hasn’t committed to anything yet? The appeal of being able to decide if you want to have sex with it or play a game with it? Or maybe it’s how open and accepting it is, like a baby animal innocently exploring the world for the first time? All of the above, really. One thing’s for sure: in the grand hierarchy of penile potential, we don’t think chubs get nearly enough credit. It’s time to change that. Oh chubs, how do we love thee? Let us count the ways… Keep reading »
Pornstagram is just what it sounds like — an app that lets you crop, filter and share the NSFW pictures that Instagram won’t allow. Created last July by French web developer Quentin Lechemia, his hope was that the ability to apply filters to naked pics would make people less ashamed and more excited to send and share them. He was right. The Android-only app already has more than 10,000 users and we suspect many more on the way.
What’s does it all mean? Well, dudes be getting artsy with their dick pics, for starters. Because … give a man a penis to photograph and entertain him for a day, teach a man to apply filters to those penis pics and entertain him for a lifetime. A quick scan through of the site returned some very creative, very NSFW photos of the male member. And this is just the beginning. Behold all the artistic dick Pornstagram has to offer. [The Daily Dot]