Tag Archives: penis

Penis Tattoo Leaves Man With Permanent Boner

Things that we suspected might be a bad idea: getting your penis tattooed. A 21-year-old Iranian man was left with a permanent semi-boner after getting the phrase “good luck on your journeys” along with his girlfriend’s initials inked on his peen in Persian. After several days of post-tat healing, his pain began to subside, but his woody didn’t. According the to the Journal of Sexual Medicine, the tattoo artist “punctured too-deep holes that damaged vessels in his penis” causing blood pooling that resulted in the perma-rection. Since the guy is still able to achieve full erections and have sex, he’s more or less okay with his always hard d**k. Meanwhile, doctors are taking this opportunity to remind us that penile tattooing is dumb. But we already suspected as much. Maybe he should get the tattoo changed to read, “Good luck with your permanent erection.” [MSNBC]

17 Famous Man Bulges

Oh, hello there. We were feeling a little on the pervy side today, because, you know, that’s how we roll, and of course, there’s the new David Beckham H&M ads where he’s clad only in underwear. What a fine piece of man he is. This pic is sure to become a man bulge classic. We put two and two together and dang it! If men feel they can just stare at our breasts when we walk down the street, then we can Google “famous man bulge” and post the results here. Enjoy! [Just Jared]

Nude Man Accidentally Helps Sell French Retailer’s Kids’ T-Shirts

As the old saying goes, the problem with doing a children’s fashion photo shoot on a beach in France is that you never know when a naked man might wander in the shot. What? They don’t say that? Oh. Well, French online fashion retailer La Redoute managed to miss a random sun worshipper’s exposed cock’n'balls in a photo advertising kids’ T-shirts. (Above, I have helpfully indicated the aforementioned French peen using Photoshop, a tool La Redoute might need to re-familiarize themselves with.) Les oopsies! [The Gloss]

The Money Shot: Christmas Is Busting Out All Over

Should someone tell the Johnson family that they have a very merry penis on their front lawn?  Nah. Might as well let Christmas keep coming until New Year’s. [Sofa Pizza]

The Thing About Ostrich Penises

Oh, the things I learn in a day of trolling the interweb for penis stories. Today, oh glorious day, I learned that the ostrich hard-on, unlike other bird erections, is of the blood vascular variety as opposed to a lymphatic type. If you are learned in the science realm, then you’ll know that reptiles and humans (proud members of the mammal family) also get blood vascular erections. Meaning blood flows to the penis and makes it hard. Interesting point being that ostriches may be the evolutionary erection link in the penile tree. Other important discovery: the most common form of bird sex is known as the “cloacal kiss.” This is when the girl and boy birds touch their cloaca (the small all-purpose orifices in the butt region) together so sperm can pass. In conclusion, I mostly just wrote this post to freak Amelia out. She hates birds and their penises. [io9]

Botched Penis Injection: Kasia Rivera Arrested For Manslaughter

December 13, 2011

Shaquille O’Neal Brags About His Penis, Gets A Piggyback From His Lilliputian Girlfriend

Watch Video

Fast forward to 3:15 and you will see Shaq receive a piggyback ride from “Hoops,” his Lilliputian girlfriend. That is seriously impressive. And she is wearing heels. The only good thing you missed before the piggy is Shaq referencing how large his “anaconda” is. I mean, we figured as much. Oh, and just in case you failed to notice, the name of his forthcoming book is Shaq: Uncut. Fun with double entendres! Imagine all that action packed into one “Jimmy Kimmel Live” segment. [Buzzfeed]

There Is Something You Must Know About Dr. Phil’s Genitalia

Vasectomy Problem
Can this woman sue her husband's ex to pay for his vasectomy reversal? Read More »
Dr. Phil photo

[Dr. Phil's wife got pregnant unexpectedly at a time in his life when he was not ready to have children.] I was doing work in another city with a good friend of mine. He said, ‘The office closes at five – why don’t you come in and we’ll do your vasectomy?” He didn’t have a nurse there, so I actually assisted him by handing him the instruments. It’s painful when they kind of pull on it. He put me in the car with an ice pack, and I drove myself to the airport and flew home.”

Whoa. Just whoa. TMI alert! Dr. Phil gave himself a vasectomy! But don’t worry, ladies. He had it reversed. [Daily Mail UK]

A Map Of Europe By Penis Size

Hi. Hello. Settle down, people. These measurements are in CENTIMETERS not INCHES. Size queens, start planning your European tour of France and Hungary. [Blame It On The Voices]

British Guy Capitalizes On Big Feet, Big Penis Myth

Who Has The Bigger Penis?
shirtless man photo
Whip 'em out, boys. We'll be the judge of that! Read More »

Nineteen-year-old Welshman Carl Griffiths has really big feet. Really, really big feet. Like, size 21 feet (the average man’s feet are a size 9). Carl has used his large, floppy feet to capitalize off of a raging myth — the idea that the bigger the feet, the bigger the penis. (Carl’s also 6′ 5″, by the way.) He’d likely qualify for the largest feet in Britain, if Guinness kept records for things like that — but either way, it’s definitely helped him in the sexy department. “I’ve already bedded more than 30 women,” says Carl proudly. But, oh, “The ladies only want me for one thing. At this stage of my life, it doesn’t bother me. And yes, it is true what they say about men with big feet.”

But is it? In my, uh, personal, non-clinical experience, shoe size (and height) had no correlation to penis size. And, in fact, the biggest penises I’ve ever seen were on some of the shortest guys with the smallest feet. (The most memorable was on a short guy with size 7 feet and a penis that measured 8 inches long and 6 inches in circumference–uh, he measured). The only thing having large feet means is having equally large socks. But what have you guys encountered? Is Carl right? Or am I? [Sun UK]

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