Tag Archives: penis

Teenage Boys Rejoice: NASA Drew A Penis On Mars

It’s hard out there for a Mars rover. Day after day, these dutiful little robots drive around the barren surface of the red planet collecting data to send back to their bosses relaxing at the warm, cozy NASA offices 40 million miles away. Do you really blame one of them for getting a bit, umm, creative with the shape of its tire marks? [Reddit via Huffpo]

NASA's Mohawk Guy
He's hot. He's brilliant. We're in love. Read More »
Mars Reality Show
Want a free one-way ticket to Mars? Apply here! Read More »
Penis Size Map
The United States falls "short," ha ha ha. Read More »

9 Penises We’ve Judged And Why

Bigger Is Not Better
There's nothing wrong with a small penis. Read More »
Penis Size Map
The United States falls "short," ha ha ha. Read More »

According to a new study of women Down Under — no, really, it was in Australia — women really are attracted to men with larger penises.

In the study, 105 women viewed naked men of various heights who all had flaccid penises and rated them on sexual attractiveness. As TIME explained, researchers found that shorter men with larger penises were seen as more attractive than shorter men with shorter penises and that tall men are kinda screwed because their height may make their penis look smaller. But have no fear, small dick-ed dudes: overall, women rated body shape as more important to attraction than penis size.

Frankly, we think any penis that isn’t bratwurst-sized works just fine. It’s not the size of the boat but the motion of the ocean and all that. But that’s not to say certain penises don’t stick out (no pun intended) in our minds … Keep reading »

Sisqo’s Leaked Nude Pics: Dong Da Dong Dong Dong

We know you’ve never wanted to know what’s in Sisqo’s pants. But now that the “Thong Song” singer’s nude pics are making the rounds on the interwebs,we know you are curious about his dong da dong dong dong. Click here for full NSFW pics of Sisqo’s trouser snake. Spoiler: he does not wear thongs.Oh, and the “Thong Song” video is after the jump if you feel like reminiscing about the year 2000. [ONTD] Keep reading »

Jon Hamm Thinks Our Posts About His Penis Are “Rude”

Jon Hamm's Ball
WTF is going on here? Read More »

“Most of it’s tongue-in-cheek, but it is a little rude. It just speaks to a broader freedom that people feel like they have — a prurience. They’re called ‘privates’ for a reason. I’m wearing pants, for fuck’s sake. Lay off. … I mean, it’s not like I’m a fucking lead miner. There are harder jobs in the world. But when people feel the freedom to create Tumblr accounts about my cockk, I feel like that wasn’t part of the deal [of fame]. But whatever, I guess it’s better than being called out for the opposite.”

An interview with Rolling Stone magazine reveals Jon Hamm is not amused by our slideshow about his balls. That’s fine. We understand and we’re sorry. (Not really.) But if comes from a place of love, okay, Jon? [US Weekly]

Jon Hamm’s 8 Most Ballsy Moments

God bless Jon Hamm and his floppy, free-spirited junk. That man’s cock and balls are all over the place and he just doesn’t seem to mind at all. Not that we’re complaining. We enjoy gawking, trying to understand what’s going on his pants.

But apparently the execs at AMC don’t share in our joy of Jon’s junk. A confidential source said that Hamm was instructed to bridle his balls for this season of “Mad Men.”  Keep reading »

This Cute Little Beaver Is Actually A Euphemism For Your Dirty Vagina

Lysol Is Not For Ladybits
It's for cleaning countertops, not vaginas. Read More »
Awkward Purchases
10 items that are way more awkward to buy than condoms. Read More »
Baby Wipes Drama
Should we all be wiping with baby wipes instead of toilet paper? Read More »
Playtex clean beaver ad

Well, that’s one way to sell intimate wipes.

Playtex is hawking these new genital wipes for “before and after” activities involving your genitalia, whatever those might be. We have no idea. But we do know the feminine hygiene industry has a long and sordid history of shaming women into buying products to “sanitize” and perfume our lady business (oh, capitalism!), despite the fact any gyno will tell you the delicate pH balance of your vagina is best left alone.

But, at the very least, we can appreciate that Playtex’s ad campaign includes one marketed towards dudes in need of a clean “pecker.”  Check it out after the jump. A dude’s sweaty junk is no picnic, either.  Keep reading »

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