Tag Archives: penis

Woman Draws A $1,240 Penis

Penis on Mars!
Thanks, NASA. Teenage boys rejoice! Read More »
Raccoon Bites Penis
Let this be a lesson to you: do not try and rape a raccoon. Read More »
Penis Snatching
It's happening in Africa. Read More »
Judging Penises
bananas
We admit it. We've judged penises. Read More »
Natasha Myers mug shot

Keying penises into the hoods or doors of automobiles is usually the sort of thing a jilted lover does. But not Natasha Myers, of Wesley Chapel, Florida. Natasha (pictured) is an all-purpose dick artist, willing to dick up your car for minor traffic violations, if need be.

Angered over a motorist who refused to yield to pedestrians, Myers tracked down the offending driver’s SUV. Security cameras caught her walking into a nearby supermarket and coming out with a Post-It note. She scribbled out a note and affixed it to the SUV’s windshield. Keep reading »

14 Celebs With Naughty Piercings

It appears that Demi Moore’s new boyfriend, 30-year-old Will Hanigan, is dipping his pearl in her oyster. And that’s not some weird euphemism for them doing Kundalini yoga together (but they are doing that too). According to The New York Daily News, the Australian pearl diver (yes, that’s really his profession) has a precious treasure hidden in his penis. “He had a pearl inserted in his penis when he was in his late teens. It is pearl farming tradition and he would always joke about it in Australia. He’d boast it’d give girls extra stimulation in the bedroom,” said an anonymous source. Keep reading »

DIY Penis Implants
What are speed bumps? Read More »

Hipster Bar Holding A Small Penis Contest

Bigger Is Not Better
There's nothing wrong with a small penis. Read More »
He's Got A Small Penis
How to date a man who doesn't have much to work with. Read More »
Shrinking Penises
Rush Limbaugh blames shrinking penis sizes on feminism, of course. Read More »
  • … because of course they are. A bar in Brooklyn, New York  — land ‘o the hipsters! — called Kings County Bar is holding its first-ever Smallest Penis In Brooklyn Contest on July 20th for dudes with tiny dicks age 21 and over. Wet underwear will be provided. [Gothamist]
  • Michelle Obama got rid of her bangs. [NYMag.com]
  • Farrah Abraham: “DEEP BREATHE [sic] “I”M NOT PREGNANT.” No one really thought you were, love. [US Weekly]
  • Inside 10 days on a lesbian porn set. [Slate]
  • “Game Of Thrones” will supposedly end after seven seasons  — meaning, there are four more to go. Stock up on tissues now, nerds. [Uproxx] Keep reading »

Rod Stewart Explains His Shrunken Penis

Broken Penises
There is a new spokesman for broken penises. Watch »
Penis Snatching
It's happening in Africa. Read More »
Shrinking Penises
Rush Limbaugh blames shrinking penis sizes on feminism, of course. Read More »

A Penis In The Garbage Disposal & 9 Other Penis Attacks

Broken Penises
There is a new spokesman for broken penises. Watch »
Famous Penises In History
David sculpture photo
These dongs will go down in the history books. Or should, anyway. Read More »

Santa Ana, California, woman Catherine Kieu Becker got really mad at her husband Glen for having an “inappropriate relationship” with someone. So mad that she drugged him, tied him to a bed with nylon ropes, and using a 10-inch knife, cut off his penis. She then threw the penis down the garbage disposal and turned it on, mutilating it beyond repair. Doctors were, not surprisingly, unable to reattach the organ, though Glen has now recovered and is out of the hospital.

On Monday, Becker was convicted of torture and aggravated mayhem. She’s facing life in prison without the possibility of parole. Our serious condolences to Glen.

Glen isn’t the only guy whose penis has been attacked. Of course, there’s the original penis victim, John Wayne Bobbitt, whose wife Lorena cut off his member in the middle of the night. But there are other guys out there whose penises have also been in peril. After the jump, we chronicle their stories. Keep reading »

Florida Man Drops Acid And Asks Police To Cut Off His Penis

Be My BFs: Chicken
These guys stole $65K in chicken wings. Read More »

Alexandra Barnes, you have some competition. Alexandra, if you’ll remember, is the Florida woman who, just last week, set her car on fire, sat down in the middle of an intersection and proclaimed “I am God.”

Well, guess what? Florida man Michael Joseph Silecchia took a bunch of acid and proclaimed that he was God, too. So there might be a “God-off” in Florida soon. Over the weekend, police were summoned to the Campus Club Apartments after neighbors reported that Silecchia was running through the halls of the building in the middle of the night. At first, Silecchia pleaded with them not to cut off his penis, but then later changed his mind. “Cut off my penis,” he requested. The cops did not oblige. Silecchia also advised that he was “God” but also “straight.” Just so we’re clear. Keep reading »

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