Tag Archives: penis

A Penis In The Garbage Disposal & 9 Other Penis Attacks

Broken Penises
There is a new spokesman for broken penises. Watch »
Famous Penises In History
David sculpture photo
These dongs will go down in the history books. Or should, anyway. Read More »

Santa Ana, California, woman Catherine Kieu Becker got really mad at her husband Glen for having an “inappropriate relationship” with someone. So mad that she drugged him, tied him to a bed with nylon ropes, and using a 10-inch knife, cut off his penis. She then threw the penis down the garbage disposal and turned it on, mutilating it beyond repair. Doctors were, not surprisingly, unable to reattach the organ, though Glen has now recovered and is out of the hospital.

On Monday, Becker was convicted of torture and aggravated mayhem. She’s facing life in prison without the possibility of parole. Our serious condolences to Glen.

Glen isn’t the only guy whose penis has been attacked. Of course, there’s the original penis victim, John Wayne Bobbitt, whose wife Lorena cut off his member in the middle of the night. But there are other guys out there whose penises have also been in peril. After the jump, we chronicle their stories. Keep reading »

Florida Man Drops Acid And Asks Police To Cut Off His Penis

Be My BFs: Chicken
These guys stole $65K in chicken wings. Read More »

Alexandra Barnes, you have some competition. Alexandra, if you’ll remember, is the Florida woman who, just last week, set her car on fire, sat down in the middle of an intersection and proclaimed “I am God.”

Well, guess what? Florida man Michael Joseph Silecchia took a bunch of acid and proclaimed that he was God, too. So there might be a “God-off” in Florida soon. Over the weekend, police were summoned to the Campus Club Apartments after neighbors reported that Silecchia was running through the halls of the building in the middle of the night. At first, Silecchia pleaded with them not to cut off his penis, but then later changed his mind. “Cut off my penis,” he requested. The cops did not oblige. Silecchia also advised that he was “God” but also “straight.” Just so we’re clear. Keep reading »

Teenage Boys Rejoice: NASA Drew A Penis On Mars

It’s hard out there for a Mars rover. Day after day, these dutiful little robots drive around the barren surface of the red planet collecting data to send back to their bosses relaxing at the warm, cozy NASA offices 40 million miles away. Do you really blame one of them for getting a bit, umm, creative with the shape of its tire marks? [Reddit via Huffpo]

NASA's Mohawk Guy
He's hot. He's brilliant. We're in love. Read More »
Mars Reality Show
Want a free one-way ticket to Mars? Apply here! Read More »
Penis Size Map
The United States falls "short," ha ha ha. Read More »

9 Penises We’ve Judged And Why

Bigger Is Not Better
There's nothing wrong with a small penis. Read More »
Penis Size Map
The United States falls "short," ha ha ha. Read More »

According to a new study of women Down Under — no, really, it was in Australia — women really are attracted to men with larger penises.

In the study, 105 women viewed naked men of various heights who all had flaccid penises and rated them on sexual attractiveness. As TIME explained, researchers found that shorter men with larger penises were seen as more attractive than shorter men with shorter penises and that tall men are kinda screwed because their height may make their penis look smaller. But have no fear, small dick-ed dudes: overall, women rated body shape as more important to attraction than penis size.

Frankly, we think any penis that isn’t bratwurst-sized works just fine. It’s not the size of the boat but the motion of the ocean and all that. But that’s not to say certain penises don’t stick out (no pun intended) in our minds … Keep reading »

Sisqo’s Leaked Nude Pics: Dong Da Dong Dong Dong

We know you’ve never wanted to know what’s in Sisqo’s pants. But now that the “Thong Song” singer’s nude pics are making the rounds on the interwebs,we know you are curious about his dong da dong dong dong. Click here for full NSFW pics of Sisqo’s trouser snake. Spoiler: he does not wear thongs.Oh, and the “Thong Song” video is after the jump if you feel like reminiscing about the year 2000. [ONTD] Keep reading »

Jon Hamm Thinks Our Posts About His Penis Are “Rude”

Jon Hamm's Ball
WTF is going on here? Read More »

“Most of it’s tongue-in-cheek, but it is a little rude. It just speaks to a broader freedom that people feel like they have — a prurience. They’re called ‘privates’ for a reason. I’m wearing pants, for fuck’s sake. Lay off. … I mean, it’s not like I’m a fucking lead miner. There are harder jobs in the world. But when people feel the freedom to create Tumblr accounts about my cockk, I feel like that wasn’t part of the deal [of fame]. But whatever, I guess it’s better than being called out for the opposite.”

An interview with Rolling Stone magazine reveals Jon Hamm is not amused by our slideshow about his balls. That’s fine. We understand and we’re sorry. (Not really.) But if comes from a place of love, okay, Jon? [US Weekly]

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