Posts tagged "penis"

The Penis Drawing Machine Makes Dirty Doodling So Much Simpler

Use of Sharpie. Check. Penis and balls. Check. Infantile potty humor. Check. These are all the key components needed for my entertainment. Behold the penis drawing machine, which is exactly what it sounds like: a contraption that doodles dicks with the press of a button. Where was this thing when I was in middle school?

By: Ami Angelowicz / June 22, 2013

Vagina Saves Penis From Attack By Angry Man

Non-theater geeks, gather 'round ye all and let me school you in the art of radical street theater. Really, there's not much schooling to be done; the former actor in me wanted to write a pretentious sentence. But…street theater! It's when performers take their acting to the street and engage real, unsuspecting onlookers as their…

By: Ami Angelowicz / June 21, 2013

Dean McDermott’s Taint Tattoo & 8 Other Celebs With Intimate Ink

This week Tori Spelling tweeted: "O-M-G … My husband @Deanracer just surprised me w/ hottest 'Tori' tattoo in an unbelievably intimate spot I'm blown away!" Of course, she didn't show us a picture of this intimate tattoo, but based on the other bad "Tori" tattoo on his elbow, we can only guess that Dean got…

By: Ami Angelowicz / June 16, 2013

It’s Theon Greyjoy’s Dick In A Box!

Yesterday, while Julie and I were discussing the season finale of "Game of Thrones," both of us knelt down and said a prayer that some genius -- i.e. someone who's handy with Final Cut Pro -- would do a supercut of "Saturday Night Live"'s "Dick In A Box" just for Theon Greyjoy. (Theon's wang, of…

By: Amelia McDonell-Parry / June 11, 2013

Woman Draws A $1,240 Penis

Keying penises into the hoods or doors of automobiles is usually the sort of thing a jilted lover does. But not Natasha Myers, of Wesley Chapel, Florida. Natasha (pictured) is an all-purpose dick artist, willing to dick up your car for minor traffic violations, if need be. Angered over a motorist who refused to yield…

By: Julie Gerstein / May 24, 2013

14 Celebs With Naughty Piercings

It appears that Demi Moore's new boyfriend, 30-year-old Will Hanigan, is dipping his pearl in her oyster. And that's not some weird euphemism for them doing Kundalini yoga together (but they are doing that too). According to The New York Daily News, the Australian pearl diver (yes, that's really his profession) has a precious treasure…

By: Ami Angelowicz / May 23, 2013

Hipster Bar Holding A Small Penis Contest

... because of course they are. A bar in Brooklyn, New York  — land 'o the hipsters! — called Kings County Bar is holding its first-ever Smallest Penis In Brooklyn Contest on July 20th for dudes with tiny dicks age 21 and over. Wet underwear will be provided. [Gothamist] Michelle Obama got rid of her

By: Jessica Wakeman / May 17, 2013

Rod Stewart Explains His Shrunken Penis

Steroid use made Rod Stewart's penis shrink back in the '80s, the singer has confessed. You got that, Rush Limbaugh? It was drugs, not feminism. "The steroids will take down the swelling in any membrane, including your knob," Rod Stewart explained. This has been everything you could have wanted to know about the penis belonging…

By: Jessica Wakeman / May 15, 2013

A Penis In The Garbage Disposal & 9 Other Penis Attacks

Santa Ana, California, woman Catherine Kieu Becker got really mad at her husband Glen for having an "inappropriate relationship" with someone. So mad that she drugged him, tied him to a bed with nylon ropes, and using a 10-inch knife, cut off his penis. She then threw the penis down the garbage disposal and turned…

By: Julie Gerstein / April 30, 2013

Florida Man Drops Acid And Asks Police To Cut Off His Penis

Alexandra Barnes, you have some competition. Alexandra, if you'll remember, is the Florida woman who, just last week, set her car on fire, sat down in the middle of an intersection and proclaimed "I am God." Well, guess what? Florida man Michael Joseph Silecchia took a bunch of acid and proclaimed that he was God,…

By: Julie Gerstein / April 29, 2013

Teenage Boys Rejoice: NASA Drew A Penis On Mars

It's hard out there for a Mars rover. Day after day, these dutiful little robots drive around the barren surface of the red planet collecting data to send back to their bosses relaxing at the warm, cozy NASA offices 40 million miles away. Do you really blame one of them for getting a bit, umm,…

By: Winona Dimeo-Ediger / April 24, 2013

9 Penises We’ve Judged And Why

According to a new study of women Down Under — no, really, it was in Australia — women really are attracted to men with larger penises. In the study, 105 women viewed naked men of various heights who all had flaccid penises and rated them on sexual attractiveness. As TIME explained, researchers found that shorter…

By: Jessica Wakeman / April 9, 2013

Sisqo’s Leaked Nude Pics: Dong Da Dong Dong Dong

We know you've never wanted to know what's in Sisqo's pants. But now that the "Thong Song" singer's nude pics are making the rounds on the interwebs,we know you are curious about his dong da dong dong dong. Click here for full NSFW pics of Sisqo's trouser snake. Spoiler: he does not wear thongs.Oh, and…

By: The Frisky / April 3, 2013

Jon Hamm Thinks Our Posts About His Penis Are “Rude”

"Most of it's tongue-in-cheek, but it is a little rude. It just speaks to a broader freedom that people feel like they have — a prurience. They're called 'privates' for a reason. I'm wearing pants, for fuck's sake. Lay off. ... I mean, it's not like I'm a fucking lead miner. There are harder jo…

By: Jessica Wakeman / March 27, 2013

Jon Hamm’s 8 Most Ballsy Moments

God bless Jon Hamm and his floppy, free-spirited junk. That man's cock and balls are all over the place and he just doesn't seem to mind at all. Not that we're complaining. We enjoy gawking, trying to understand what's going on his pants. But apparently the execs at AMC don't share in our joy of…

By: Ami Angelowicz / March 20, 2013

This Cute Little Beaver Is Actually A Euphemism For Your Dirty Vagina

Well, that's one way to sell intimate wipes. Playtex is hawking these new genital wipes for "before and after" activities involving your genitalia, whatever those might be. We have no idea. But we do know the feminine hygiene industry has a long and sordid history of shaming women into buying products to "sanitize" and perfume

By: Jessica Wakeman / February 6, 2013

Benedict Cumberbatch Makes A Dick Joke About His “Star Trek Into Darkness” Costume

The costumes look great. Some of them were very cumbersome and heavy, but some were very snug. You can almost see what religion I am. Rrrrow! I'll bet they look great, Benedict Cumberbatch. Of course, this joke actually means nothing because circumcision isn't so religiously based anymore, but we thank him kindly for the visual.

By: Jessica Wakeman / January 22, 2013

Girl Talk: Why We Should Be Talking About Penis Size

Women have no secrets. Not really.  We readily spill the beans about everything from the guy we hooked up with to our marital problems. Discussing our lives is the glue that keeps book clubs together. But there's something we need to talk more openly about: penis size. Not that we haven’t been discussing size, but…

By: Claudia Maittlen-Harris / January 8, 2013

Why Do Men Get Morning Wood? Here’s An Explanation

Ever rolled over in the morning to snuggle your dude and got jabbed in the belly button? Thought so. That's because all men experience "noctural penile tumescence," AKA morning wood.  As the folks as ASAP Science explain above, morning wood has to do with REM sleep, a neurotransmitter called norepinephrine, and even the dude's bladder. I…

By: Jessica Wakeman / November 14, 2012

Evan Peters Says This Season Of “American Horror Story” Has “A Lot Of Butt”

"It’s a lot of butt. I got scared. Unless I’m around certain people, I don’t like to be naked. [Laughs.] I have a great picture of me naked on a bed just wearing a cock sock, and the crew is all around me, bored. We were all waiting for a film roll or a le…

By: Jessica Wakeman / October 26, 2012
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