penis - Page 3

Shia LaBeouf Had To Submit Dick Pics For “Nymphomaniac”

Shia LaBeouf was asked to submit pictures of his penis during part of casting for “Nymphomaniac,” the new Lars von Trier sex flick. Did they check to make sure it was really his? [Evil Beet Gossip]
Dennis Rodman lost his shit during a CNN interview from Pyongyang, North Korea. [The Wire]
Ralph… More »


Man Claims “Big, Black Snake” In Toilet Bit His Penis

Sssssucks to be you, man. A man in Ghana claims he was using a public toilet when a ‘big, black snake’ bit him on the tip of his penis on Wednesday. Kwabena Nkrumah, 34, said the pain was intense, and that he ran out of the public toilet screaming, “Snake! Snake! Snake!” which in turn… More »


Can You Guess Which State Has The “Biggest” Men?

In an act of true patriotism, Condomania.com did a little research on the United States’ size trends based on who bought the highest numbers of larger-sized condoms. “America’s first online condom store” used the data to put together a handy list that ranks our great 50 states by the size of their residents’ junk. Since the… More »


Mike Tyson Explains Everything You Want To Know About Passing A Drug Test With A Fake Penis

In his memoir, Undisputed Truth, Mike Tyson revealed that he used a fake penis with someone else’s clean urine to pass drug tests. Chelsea Handler, being Chelsea Handler, wanted to know all the details. Here’s Tyson explaining how he used a fake dick connected to a jock strap to hide his drug use, which apparently… More »


Miley Cyrus Rocks A Nude Leotard With A Penis Drawn On The Crotch

Miley Cyrus posed for LOVE magazine in a nude leotard with a dick drawn on the crotch, because of course she did. LOVE uploaded the image above to their Instagram, but shortly thereafter replaced it with a similar image featuring a strategically placed reindeer. Luckily StyleCaster snagged a screenshot first. The internet never forgets a good… More »


These Men Can Play “Jingle Bells” With Their Penises

Nothing says peace on Earth, sugar cookies and Grandma like Christmas carols played with bells attached to a dude’s junk, amirite? Kmart’s holiday commercial features six male models shaking bells on their penises — hidden beneath their Joe Boxers, of course — to the tune of “Jingle Bells.” The gag is subtle enough that little… More »


I Can’t Quite Put My Finger On What The Aerial View Of This Church Resembles

Christian Scientists are not known for their sense of humor, but have a look at this bird’s-eye view of the Christian Science Society of Dixon, Illinois, and tell me that God isn’t laughing right about now. Furthermore, the congregation’s slogan is “rising up.” All of the jokes have already been made. I didn’t even have… More »


Viagra Overdose Leads To Penis Amputation For Colombian Politician

I feel pretty confident making a broad sweeping generalization about this: losing your penis is every man’s worst nightmare. For one Colombian politician, that nightmare became a reality after an overdose of Viagra. The 66-year-old man didn’t just suffer through an erection that lasted longer than four hours — his boner ached for “a few… More »


Enterprising Weirdo Shoves Fork Into His Peehole, Ends Up In Hospital

We’ve all done something stupid in the name of sex, usually involving one too many tequila sunrises and men with neck tattoos. But one Australian man puts us all to shame: he shoved a fork up his peehole. Yes, he shoved a piece of cutlery into his urethra. The 70-year-old Canberra man’s escapade was cataloged in… More »


A Penis Cake Pan’s Continued Quest For Relevancy

The penis cake pan’s struggle is oft-commemorated in poetry and song. Surely you remember the Dylan Thomas poem “Do Not Go Gentle Into That Good Night (Penis Cake Pan).” It goes:

Do not go gentle into that good night penis cake pan / Your novelty cake pan should burn and rave at close… More »


Ke$ha Makes A Jewelry Line And Obviously There Are Penises

Kesha Rose by Charles Albert is the name of Ke$ha’s new jewelry line and it is everything you would expect it to be. The most striking pieces, however, come from her “Grow A Pear” Collection, which features small gold penises for your neck, fingers, and ears. The interesting part is that her penis-shaped jewelry is… More »


Man’s Penis Bitten By A Snake Residing In His Toilet

It’s snake season in Israel, apparently, and those slithering menaces are everywhere. And yes, everywhere does include toilets. A 35-year-old man in Northern Israel was just going to the bathroom, minding his own business, when a small snake popped out of the toilet he was sitting on and bit him square on the penis.
More »


Doctor To Perform Vasectomies For A Live Audience To Make The World A Better Place

In honor of the inaugural World Vasectomy Day on October 18, Dr. Doug Stein of Florida wants to perform vasectomies at Adelaide’s Royal Institution of Australia. For a live audience. Fielding questions about the procedure. And streaming it online. … More »


100-Year-Old Woman Just Really Wants To Have Sex, Is That So Wrong?

Old people: they do what they want. And if they’re feeling pervy and want to ask a reporter “How’s ya dick hangin’?”, well, so be it. I am not going to get in the way of a centenarian trying to make a love connection. Are you? [YouTube via BroBible] … More »


John Wayne Bobbit Updates Us On His Penis: “It’s Never Been Better”

“The doctors told me I would never be able to have sex again because my injuries were so bad. But I’ve proved them wrong time and time again. I believe I’ve slept with 70 women since the incident. Being the most famous man to have his penis chopped off does have its advantages. It definitely has… More »


The Penis Drawing Machine Makes Dirty Doodling So Much Simpler

Use of Sharpie. Check. Penis and balls. Check. Infantile potty humor. Check. These are all the key components needed for my entertainment. Behold the penis drawing machine, which is exactly what it sounds like: a contraption that doodles dicks with the press of a button. Where was this thing when I was in middle school? More »


Vagina Saves Penis From Attack By Angry Man

Non-theater geeks, gather ’round ye all and let me school you in the art of radical street theater. Really, there’s not much schooling to be done; the former actor in me wanted to write a pretentious sentence. But…street theater! It’s when performers take their acting to the street and engage real, unsuspecting onlookers as their… More »


Dean McDermott’s Taint Tattoo & 8 Other Celebs With Intimate Ink

This week Tori Spelling tweeted: “O-M-G … My husband @Deanracer just surprised me w/ hottest ‘Tori’ tattoo in an unbelievably intimate spot I’m blown away!”

Of course, she didn’t show us a picture of this intimate tattoo, but based on the other bad “Tori” tattoo on his elbow, we can only guess that… More »


It’s Theon Greyjoy’s Dick In A Box!

Yesterday, while Julie and I were discussing the season finale of “Game of Thrones,” both of us knelt down and said a prayer that some genius — i.e. someone who’s handy with Final Cut Pro — would do a supercut of “Saturday Night Live”‘s “Dick In A Box” just for Theon Greyjoy. (Theon’s wang, of… More »


Woman Draws A $1,240 Penis

Keying penises into the hoods or doors of automobiles is usually the sort of thing a jilted lover does. But not Natasha Myers, of Wesley Chapel, Florida. Natasha (pictured) is an all-purpose dick artist, willing to dick up your car for minor traffic violations, if need be.

Angered over a motorist who refused… More »


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