Tag Archives: penis

It’s Theon Greyjoy’s Dick In A Box!

Theon Greyjoy's Dick In A Box
It's Theon's Dick In A Box!

Yesterday, while Julie and I were discussing the season finale of “Game of Thrones,” both of us knelt down and said a prayer that some genius — i.e. someone who’s handy with Final Cut Pro — would do a supercut of “Saturday Night Live”‘s “Dick In A Box” just for Theon Greyjoy. (Theon’s wang, of course, was cut off by the Bastard Bolton and sent — in a box! — to his dad and sister.) The internet always — ALWAYS — delivers. [YouTube]

Pete Vs. Theon
A battle of douchebags in this Face-Off! Read More »
"Game Of Thrones" Lingo
"Make water," "smallclothes," and other words and phrases from the series. Read More »
Jon Snow, Bad Boyfriend
you know nothing Jon Snow
"Game of Thrones" Jon Snow sucks at dating. Read More »

Woman Draws A $1,240 Penis

Penis on Mars!
Thanks, NASA. Teenage boys rejoice! Read More »
Raccoon Bites Penis
Let this be a lesson to you: do not try and rape a raccoon. Read More »
Penis Snatching
It's happening in Africa. Read More »
Judging Penises
bananas
We admit it. We've judged penises. Read More »
Natasha Myers mug shot

Keying penises into the hoods or doors of automobiles is usually the sort of thing a jilted lover does. But not Natasha Myers, of Wesley Chapel, Florida. Natasha (pictured) is an all-purpose dick artist, willing to dick up your car for minor traffic violations, if need be.

Angered over a motorist who refused to yield to pedestrians, Myers tracked down the offending driver’s SUV. Security cameras caught her walking into a nearby supermarket and coming out with a Post-It note. She scribbled out a note and affixed it to the SUV’s windshield. Keep reading »

14 Celebs With Naughty Piercings

It appears that Demi Moore’s new boyfriend, 30-year-old Will Hanigan, is dipping his pearl in her oyster. And that’s not some weird euphemism for them doing Kundalini yoga together (but they are doing that too). According to The New York Daily News, the Australian pearl diver (yes, that’s really his profession) has a precious treasure hidden in his penis. “He had a pearl inserted in his penis when he was in his late teens. It is pearl farming tradition and he would always joke about it in Australia. He’d boast it’d give girls extra stimulation in the bedroom,” said an anonymous source. Keep reading »

DIY Penis Implants
What are speed bumps? Read More »

Hipster Bar Holding A Small Penis Contest

Bigger Is Not Better
There's nothing wrong with a small penis. Read More »
He's Got A Small Penis
How to date a man who doesn't have much to work with. Read More »
Shrinking Penises
Rush Limbaugh blames shrinking penis sizes on feminism, of course. Read More »
  • … because of course they are. A bar in Brooklyn, New York  — land ‘o the hipsters! — called Kings County Bar is holding its first-ever Smallest Penis In Brooklyn Contest on July 20th for dudes with tiny dicks age 21 and over. Wet underwear will be provided. [Gothamist]
  • Michelle Obama got rid of her bangs. [NYMag.com]
  • Farrah Abraham: “DEEP BREATHE [sic] “I”M NOT PREGNANT.” No one really thought you were, love. [US Weekly]
  • Inside 10 days on a lesbian porn set. [Slate]
  • “Game Of Thrones” will supposedly end after seven seasons  — meaning, there are four more to go. Stock up on tissues now, nerds. [Uproxx] Keep reading »

Rod Stewart Explains His Shrunken Penis

Broken Penises
There is a new spokesman for broken penises. Watch »
Penis Snatching
It's happening in Africa. Read More »
Shrinking Penises
Rush Limbaugh blames shrinking penis sizes on feminism, of course. Read More »

A Penis In The Garbage Disposal & 9 Other Penis Attacks

Broken Penises
There is a new spokesman for broken penises. Watch »
Famous Penises In History
David sculpture photo
These dongs will go down in the history books. Or should, anyway. Read More »

Santa Ana, California, woman Catherine Kieu Becker got really mad at her husband Glen for having an “inappropriate relationship” with someone. So mad that she drugged him, tied him to a bed with nylon ropes, and using a 10-inch knife, cut off his penis. She then threw the penis down the garbage disposal and turned it on, mutilating it beyond repair. Doctors were, not surprisingly, unable to reattach the organ, though Glen has now recovered and is out of the hospital.

On Monday, Becker was convicted of torture and aggravated mayhem. She’s facing life in prison without the possibility of parole. Our serious condolences to Glen.

Glen isn’t the only guy whose penis has been attacked. Of course, there’s the original penis victim, John Wayne Bobbitt, whose wife Lorena cut off his member in the middle of the night. But there are other guys out there whose penises have also been in peril. After the jump, we chronicle their stories. Keep reading »

Florida Man Drops Acid And Asks Police To Cut Off His Penis

Be My BFs: Chicken
These guys stole $65K in chicken wings. Read More »

Alexandra Barnes, you have some competition. Alexandra, if you’ll remember, is the Florida woman who, just last week, set her car on fire, sat down in the middle of an intersection and proclaimed “I am God.”

Well, guess what? Florida man Michael Joseph Silecchia took a bunch of acid and proclaimed that he was God, too. So there might be a “God-off” in Florida soon. Over the weekend, police were summoned to the Campus Club Apartments after neighbors reported that Silecchia was running through the halls of the building in the middle of the night. At first, Silecchia pleaded with them not to cut off his penis, but then later changed his mind. “Cut off my penis,” he requested. The cops did not oblige. Silecchia also advised that he was “God” but also “straight.” Just so we’re clear. Keep reading »

Teenage Boys Rejoice: NASA Drew A Penis On Mars

It’s hard out there for a Mars rover. Day after day, these dutiful little robots drive around the barren surface of the red planet collecting data to send back to their bosses relaxing at the warm, cozy NASA offices 40 million miles away. Do you really blame one of them for getting a bit, umm, creative with the shape of its tire marks? [Reddit via Huffpo]

NASA's Mohawk Guy
He's hot. He's brilliant. We're in love. Read More »
Mars Reality Show
Want a free one-way ticket to Mars? Apply here! Read More »
Penis Size Map
The United States falls "short," ha ha ha. Read More »

9 Penises We’ve Judged And Why

Bigger Is Not Better
There's nothing wrong with a small penis. Read More »
Penis Size Map
The United States falls "short," ha ha ha. Read More »

According to a new study of women Down Under — no, really, it was in Australia — women really are attracted to men with larger penises.

In the study, 105 women viewed naked men of various heights who all had flaccid penises and rated them on sexual attractiveness. As TIME explained, researchers found that shorter men with larger penises were seen as more attractive than shorter men with shorter penises and that tall men are kinda screwed because their height may make their penis look smaller. But have no fear, small dick-ed dudes: overall, women rated body shape as more important to attraction than penis size.

Frankly, we think any penis that isn’t bratwurst-sized works just fine. It’s not the size of the boat but the motion of the ocean and all that. But that’s not to say certain penises don’t stick out (no pun intended) in our minds … Keep reading »

Sisqo’s Leaked Nude Pics: Dong Da Dong Dong Dong

We know you’ve never wanted to know what’s in Sisqo’s pants. But now that the “Thong Song” singer’s nude pics are making the rounds on the interwebs,we know you are curious about his dong da dong dong dong. Click here for full NSFW pics of Sisqo’s trouser snake. Spoiler: he does not wear thongs.Oh, and the “Thong Song” video is after the jump if you feel like reminiscing about the year 2000. [ONTD] Keep reading »

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