Tag Archives: penis

Man’s Penis Bitten By A Snake Residing In His Toilet

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It’s snake season in Israel, apparently, and those slithering menaces are everywhere. And yes, everywhere does include toilets. A 35-year-old man in Northern Israel was just going to the bathroom, minding his own business, when a small snake popped out of the toilet he was sitting on and bit him square on the penis.

Although this is literally the last place a man wants to be bitten by anything, let alone a snake, he can at least be grateful that the snake was not venomous. The man is currently doing very well, but he will most likely have bite marks on the area in question. Keep reading »

Doctor To Perform Vasectomies For A Live Audience To Make The World A Better Place

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doctor with scalpel

In honor of the inaugural World Vasectomy Day on October 18, Dr. Doug Stein of Florida wants to perform vasectomies at Adelaide’s Royal Institution of Australia. For a live audience. Fielding questions about the procedure. And streaming it online. Keep reading »

100-Year-Old Woman Just Really Wants To Have Sex, Is That So Wrong?

When You're A 100-Years-Old, You Can Ask Everybody About Their Private Parts
"How's ya dick hangin'?"

Old people: they do what they want. And if they’re feeling pervy and want to ask a reporter “How’s ya dick hangin’?”, well, so be it. I am not going to get in the way of a centenarian trying to make a love connection. Are you? [YouTube via BroBible]

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John Wayne Bobbit Updates Us On His Penis: “It’s Never Been Better”

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“The doctors told me I would never be able to have sex again because my injuries were so bad. But I’ve proved them wrong time and time again. I believe I’ve slept with 70 women since the incident. Being the most famous man to have his penis chopped off does have its advantages. It definitely has not hurt my love life — in fact it improved it. I guess some women got a kick out of saying they slept with John Wayne Bobbitt. …. [Howard Stern] offered to pay for a penis enlargement and I jumped at the chance. I still had not fully regained my confidence in that department and I thought it would help get back my self-esteem. The three-hour operation added just under two inches to the length. The plastic surgeon also made it thicker. I was lucky — everything went back to good working order. I joke it’s all ‘souped up’ now — like an ordinary car with a bigger engine. I can honestly say it’s never been better. … Obviously, I would have preferred not to go through all that pain and suffering. But being famous for my penis has given me opportunities I could not have ever imagined.”

––Every vicious assault has a silver lining? Or something? John Wayne Bobbit assured the UK’s Sun about how his willy is doing wonderfully after the 1993 assault by his then-wife, Lorena Bobbit. Lorena had been physically and sexually abused by her husband throughout their marriage; he allegedly raped her the night she cut his penis off with an eight-inch knife. Bobbitt had dick was sewn back on with surgery, went on to film some pornos, including one called “John Wayne Bobbitt Uncut,” and apparently has been livin’ up his D-list celebrity status. It’s hard to feel happy for him, though––he has several domestic violence arrests under his belt. Now he’s a born-again Christian and is writing an autobiography. [The Sun UK]

[Image of knife via Shutterstock]

The Penis Drawing Machine Makes Dirty Doodling So Much Simpler

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Heh, Heh
The Penis Drawing Machine Makes Dirty Doodling So Much Simpler
A penis doodling contraption!

Use of Sharpie. Check. Penis and balls. Check. Infantile potty humor. Check. These are all the key components needed for my entertainment. Behold the penis drawing machine, which is exactly what it sounds like: a contraption that doodles dicks with the press of a button. Where was this thing when I was in middle school? Earth Science would have been exponentially more exciting. [YouTube]

Vagina Saves Penis From Attack By Angry Man

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Non-theater geeks, gather ’round ye all and let me school you in the art of radical street theater. Really, there’s not much schooling to be done; the former actor in me wanted to write a pretentious sentence. But…street theater! It’s when performers take their acting to the street and engage real, unsuspecting onlookers as their audience. This is what members of the Nomadic Academy of Fools, a UK theater troupe, were doing when they hit Glastonbury High Street in a penis and vagina costume respectively to promote their forthcoming play.

“We’re trying to highlight the contradiction in society,” said Joanne Tremarco, the woman dressed as a vagina.

Um, obviously. I got it right away.But some non-theater loving fool, did not understand the message. He took offense to the walking, talking genitals and began to attack Chris Murray, the man dressed as a penis. Keep reading »

Dean McDermott’s Taint Tattoo & 8 Other Celebs With Intimate Ink

This week Tori Spelling tweeted: “O-M-G … My husband @Deanracer just surprised me w/ hottest ‘Tori’ tattoo in an unbelievably intimate spot I’m blown away!”

Of course, she didn’t show us a picture of this intimate tattoo, but based on the other bad “Tori” tattoo on his elbow, we can only guess that Dean got her beloved pet chicken Coco inked on his taint. I’m sure we’ll see a Twitpic or Vine video of it soon enough … whether we want to or not.

Here are some more celebs who got intimate tattoos. [US Weekly]

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It’s Theon Greyjoy’s Dick In A Box!

Theon Greyjoy's Dick In A Box
It's Theon's Dick In A Box!

Yesterday, while Julie and I were discussing the season finale of “Game of Thrones,” both of us knelt down and said a prayer that some genius — i.e. someone who’s handy with Final Cut Pro — would do a supercut of “Saturday Night Live”‘s “Dick In A Box” just for Theon Greyjoy. (Theon’s wang, of course, was cut off by the Bastard Bolton and sent — in a box! — to his dad and sister.) The internet always — ALWAYS — delivers. [YouTube]

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Woman Draws A $1,240 Penis

Penis on Mars!
Thanks, NASA. Teenage boys rejoice! Read More »
Raccoon Bites Penis
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Judging Penises
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Natasha Myers mug shot

Keying penises into the hoods or doors of automobiles is usually the sort of thing a jilted lover does. But not Natasha Myers, of Wesley Chapel, Florida. Natasha (pictured) is an all-purpose dick artist, willing to dick up your car for minor traffic violations, if need be.

Angered over a motorist who refused to yield to pedestrians, Myers tracked down the offending driver’s SUV. Security cameras caught her walking into a nearby supermarket and coming out with a Post-It note. She scribbled out a note and affixed it to the SUV’s windshield. Keep reading »

14 Celebs With Naughty Piercings

It appears that Demi Moore’s new boyfriend, 30-year-old Will Hanigan, is dipping his pearl in her oyster. And that’s not some weird euphemism for them doing Kundalini yoga together (but they are doing that too). According to The New York Daily News, the Australian pearl diver (yes, that’s really his profession) has a precious treasure hidden in his penis. “He had a pearl inserted in his penis when he was in his late teens. It is pearl farming tradition and he would always joke about it in Australia. He’d boast it’d give girls extra stimulation in the bedroom,” said an anonymous source. Keep reading »

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