Tag Archives: penis

And The Best Penis Haikus Are …

We’re so glad that author Alan Weider is finding new ways to celebrate the c**k. After the release of his memoir, The Year of the C**k, a tale about the year his ween obsession reeked havoc on his life, Alan decided to keep the penis love growing by sponsoring a penis haiku (phaiku) contest. If you’re a poetry lover like me, then you probably entered the contest. Well … the esteemed judges have voted on their favorite phaikus. I was disappointed to find out that my entry came in sixth place. Boo! But I must admit the winning entries were c**ktastic. After the jump, the winners’ penile musings. May I suggest a vagina haiku (vaiku) contest next, Alan? Keep reading »

The Most Ridiculous Penis Stories Of 2009

There are some pretty crazy people out there. A lot of them have penises, and many of those penises have had hilariously insane things happen to them. So, if you’re not planning on eating a salami sandwich for lunch, feast on these nine amazing sausage stories from 2009! Keep reading »

16 Famous Man Bulges

Famous Man Bulges

Oh, hello there. We were feeling a little on the pervy side today, because, you know, that’s how we roll, and of course, there’s the new David Beckham H&M ads where he’s clad only in underwear. What a fine piece of man human he is. This pic is sure to become a man bulge classic. We put two and two together and dang it! If men can stare at our breasts when we walk down the street, then we can Google “famous man bulge” and post the results here. Enjoy!

Frisky Q & A: Alan Wieder Talks “Year Of The Cock,” Penis Size, And Vagina Worship

Alan Wieder is not embarrassed to talk about his wang. In fact, he’s written an entire memoir about getting to know his … er … penis better. Year of the Cock: The Remarkable True Account of a Man Who Left His Wife and Paid the Price chronicles the year (ironically, the year of the rooster—hee hee) that Alan decided to follow his little head on a destructive journey. He packed up his things and moved out of his home, ready to pursue his fantasy of becoming a hardcore bachelor. During this premature mid-life crisis, he buys a vintage Porsche, bangs lot o’ chicks, and becomes obsessed with the size of his member. I know what you’re thinking. What a jerk! Why would I want to spend 300 pages reading about penile insecurity? Because Alan’s hilarious and, somehow, his year of cockiness is refreshing. Trust me, you’ll laugh too hard to judge him. Keep reading »

Enter This Penis Haiku Contest!

I have been writing bad poetry for as long as I can remember. Well, at least since I penned the gripping haiku, “The Spark,” in 7th grade. I can’t share it … it’s just too embarrassing. But yes, it does follow the 5-7-5 syllable pattern. Can I still write a hard-hitting haiku? Yes, I believe I can. And now I have the chance I’ve been waiting for. Alan Wieder, author of the new memoir Year of the C**k, which chronicles his penile trials and tribulations, is having a contest to find the best haikus about his favorite topic … the penis. You bet your c**k I am entering my phaiku (penis + haiku) on his website for a chance to win an autographed copy of the book. Check out my masterpiece after the jump. [Asylum] Keep reading »

How To Compliment A Man’s Wang

Our friends over at Asylum created a handy guide on “How to Praise Your Lady’s Vagina.” Do guys really need tips on stuff like that? What is the proper etiquette for a vagina conversation? Do women actually need vagina compliments? Anyway, “Your vagina is so much hotter than my last girlfriend’s vagina” inspired us to create a comparable list for the ladies. Face-to-face with a man’s penis, what’s a girl supposed to say? Our suggestions, after the jump! Keep reading »

Doin’ It With Dr. V: How To Blow An Uncut Man’s Mind

The Frisky’s own Leonora has just moved to France, and we miss her already! She’s having all kinds of new experiences, I’m sure. Fondling haute couture, chowing down on cheese and baguette, and, of course, falling for some handsome gentlemen. But being a nice Jewish girl, I have a feeling Leo the lover has never come head-to-head, er face-to-face, with an uncircumcised guy. And just like a lot of foreign films that come out of Europe, they’re uncut. So, I’m going to give our fair Leo some pointers on how to manhandle her future friends with foreskin. Keep reading »

Restorers Discover A Big Old Erect Penis In A Classic 17th Century Painting

Sometimes it’s hard to remember that folks back in olden times (a) had a sense of humor and (b) had dirty minds just as bad as ours. But it’s true. An art restorer at the Louvre was tasked with restoring Nicolas Poussin’s 17th century painting “Hymenaios Disguised as a Woman During an Offering to Priapus,” which shows the god of marriage (Hymenaois) giving a gift to the god of fertility (Priapus). Underneath many layers of paint, she found that … Priapus has an erect penis that’s, well, basically porn-star sized. The restoration team thinks that the peen was probably in the original work and that, years later, another artist covered it up after getting complaints from the Catholic Church. An alternate theory is that, back in the day, artists would paint their subjects nude and then paint clothes on top so as to make them as realistic as possible. Who knows which theory is right, but if you happen to be in Brazil next week, go check out the unveiling of the restored painting at the Museu de Arte de São Paulo. [The Art Newspaper] Keep reading »

Why Are Penises Always Funny In Movies?

After seeing “Bruno,” one of my male friends went on a 5-minute rant about how penises in movies are always played for laughs. In his opinion, the nudity law of cinema is that when a woman’s naked, it’s completely serious or titillating, but when a peen pops up on screen, it’s meant to be hilarious. He repeatedly asked the question—why? Keep reading »

The World’s Oldest Penis Bone(r) Discovered

We’ve told you about legendary rock star penises and actor penises, but now we’re going to bring you: the world’s oldest prick! (No, it’s not Bob Barker.) The 400 million year old fossil was actually just discovered by the aptly named Australian palaeontologist Dr. Long (you just can’t make this crap up!). Anyhoo, his research team from the Museum Victoria found the prehistoric boner in some fish bones. The Devonian era fossil remarkably had something to hold onto. Published in the Nature journal, it was a breakthrough discovery that linked some “structures in the pelvic fin that suggested copulation” which is awesome because while they had uncovered lady bits, as Dr. Long put it, “we hadn’t found the business end of how they were doing it.” That is until now…
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