Tag Archives: penis

Mark Ruffalo’s Small Penis Doesn’t Change A Thing

Bigger Is Not Better
There's nothing wrong with a small penis. Read More »
Who Has The Bigger Penis?
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Whip 'em out, boys. We'll be the judge of that! Read More »

“That was my first day [on the set] and that was a miserable day. It was smoky, it was hell, and I felt really uncomfortable. I’m not well-endowed, and those suits don’t really show you off in the most …”

– Mark Ruffalo talks about some of the, uh, challenges of playing Hulk in “The Avengers.” No need to finish that sentence, Mark. I know where you’re going with that thought, and I should tell you right now that I don’t care about the size. You have nothing to apologize for. You are well-endowed with other things: talent, hotness, humbleness, chest hair. We shan’t speak of it again. Now, undress me! [WOW]

Charlize Theron Wants A Piece Of The Legendary Fass-Dong

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Micheal Fassbender says his penis is no big deal. We beg to disagree. Read More »
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Watch the trailer for Michael Fassbender's new movie, "Shame." Watch »
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Michael Fassbender and Charlize Theron photo

“I have to say that I was truly impressed that [Michael Fassbender] chose to play it big. Most other actors would have gone small, trust me. No, I know because I’ve worked with them. Your penis was a revelation. I’m available to work with it any time.”

– Charlize Theron accepted a Human Rights Campaign award from Michael Fassbender on Saturday night and as is common courtesy, used the opportunity to praise the size of his cock. I hope she wasn’t referring to adorable little Patton Oswalt here. [E! Online]

Sex Lessons From Spiders: 5 Benefits Of The Detachable Penis

A recent study done with orb-web spiders found that about eight percent of the time male spiders left their entire penis behind to do the job for them. The job, in this case, meaning impregnating the female spider. That’s how they do out there in nature. I know, you men out there are cringing at the thought of losing your member, but this “eunuch phenomenon” or extreme genital mutilation, is not without purpose. After the jump, five reasons why leaving their d**ks behind is worth it for these eight-legged dudes (and the other animal species that castrate themselves like ants, scorpions and beetles). Something to consider. Keep reading »

Miley Cyrus Eats Liam Hemsworth’s Penis Cake Like A Pro

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Last week Miley Cyrus celebrated boyfriend Liam Hemsworth’s 21st birthday by licking a confectionery replica of a penis. My, what a large cake. She looks like she’s done this before. It’s all that any man could wish of his 19-year-old girlfriend — that she be well-versed in giving cake jobs. See the NSFW version after the jump. [TMZ] Keep reading »

Let’s Discuss Jessica Simpson’s Penis Mask

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Dear Jessica
An open letter to Jessica, asking her to stop talking about her weight. Read More »

OK. Once you’re done gawking at the absurdity of Jessica Simpson’s latest Twitpic, let’s talk about why she might be wearing this penis mask, which, may I add, is absolutely hideous. Penises are not the most attractive organs, but this mask is really doing dicks everywhere an injustice. She says it’s for a bachelorette weekend. But that’s too cruel to do to a bride-to-be. Is she trying to put the girl off sex for the rest of her life? I suspect this may be her way of telling us she’s having a boy. She does love a good Twitpic announcement. Discuss. [Buzzfeed]

Kate Beckinsale Loves A Good Penis Prank

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“We’d sort of had a little bit of an argument and [my mom] was leaving and my make-up artist had given me for Easter – I don’t know why – this enormous penis …  a rubber one … it was quite wobbly. It was definitely decorative. It wasn’t functional. I kept on stashing it in my trailer  and I thought, ‘I’m just gonna put it in her hand luggage when she goes to the airport and maybe that’ll somehow cheer us up,’ so I did that … I was gonna let it get to that point but my make-up artist was so horrified that I’d done it … I had to call her up and say, ‘Look, I’m really sorry, but just look in your bag.’ She went, ‘Oh my God, Kate, I can’t believe you’ve done it. What am I going to do with it?’ … I think she had to somehow dump it at the airport … I do like a penis joke. Doesn’t everybody? We have a tradition in my family now. Whenever I visit my mother’s house I always have to leave a banana and two apples, or whatever fruit she has, in a penis state in her fruit bowl just so she thinks of me when I’ve gone.”

– Kate Beckinsale on the penis prank she played on her mom. I respect Kate’s story. I strongly encourage humor of this sort. Fake penises, farts in jars, I love it all. The more, the better. My inner age is eight, by the way. [Starpulse]

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