Tag Archives: penis

Kylie Steger Was Not Amused By The Penis In Her Box

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Aussie mother Kylie Steger was not amused by the rude surprise inside her Hungry Jack fast food dinner. She was beyond pissed when she found a poorly drawn penis inside her hamburger box. “It literally made me sick … If they have drawn that in there, what else have they done to my burger?” Steger complained. I wonder if she would have felt differently if the penis rendering was more, well, professional. Hungry Jacks is taking the complaint “very seriously” and has launched an investigation to get to the bottom of the penis incident. I, on the other hand, can’t stop laughing. I would be thrilled if there was a penis in my box. Also, may I just point out that the name of the person who wrote this news item is Stuart Cumming. You’re welcome. [The Chronicle]

Mark Ruffalo’s Small Penis Doesn’t Change A Thing

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Who Has The Bigger Penis?
shirtless man photo
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“That was my first day [on the set] and that was a miserable day. It was smoky, it was hell, and I felt really uncomfortable. I’m not well-endowed, and those suits don’t really show you off in the most …”

– Mark Ruffalo talks about some of the, uh, challenges of playing Hulk in “The Avengers.” No need to finish that sentence, Mark. I know where you’re going with that thought, and I should tell you right now that I don’t care about the size. You have nothing to apologize for. You are well-endowed with other things: talent, hotness, humbleness, chest hair. We shan’t speak of it again. Now, undress me! [WOW]

Charlize Theron Wants A Piece Of The Legendary Fass-Dong

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michael fassbender
Micheal Fassbender says his penis is no big deal. We beg to disagree. Read More »
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Michael Fassbender photo
Watch the trailer for Michael Fassbender's new movie, "Shame." Watch »
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Michael Fassbender commercial
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Michael Fassbender and Charlize Theron photo

“I have to say that I was truly impressed that [Michael Fassbender] chose to play it big. Most other actors would have gone small, trust me. No, I know because I’ve worked with them. Your penis was a revelation. I’m available to work with it any time.”

– Charlize Theron accepted a Human Rights Campaign award from Michael Fassbender on Saturday night and as is common courtesy, used the opportunity to praise the size of his cock. I hope she wasn’t referring to adorable little Patton Oswalt here. [E! Online]

Sex Lessons From Spiders: 5 Benefits Of The Detachable Penis

A recent study done with orb-web spiders found that about eight percent of the time male spiders left their entire penis behind to do the job for them. The job, in this case, meaning impregnating the female spider. That’s how they do out there in nature. I know, you men out there are cringing at the thought of losing your member, but this “eunuch phenomenon” or extreme genital mutilation, is not without purpose. After the jump, five reasons why leaving their d**ks behind is worth it for these eight-legged dudes (and the other animal species that castrate themselves like ants, scorpions and beetles). Something to consider. Keep reading »

Miley Cyrus Eats Liam Hemsworth’s Penis Cake Like A Pro

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Last week Miley Cyrus celebrated boyfriend Liam Hemsworth’s 21st birthday by licking a confectionery replica of a penis. My, what a large cake. She looks like she’s done this before. It’s all that any man could wish of his 19-year-old girlfriend — that she be well-versed in giving cake jobs. See the NSFW version after the jump. [TMZ] Keep reading »

Let’s Discuss Jessica Simpson’s Penis Mask

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OK. Once you’re done gawking at the absurdity of Jessica Simpson’s latest Twitpic, let’s talk about why she might be wearing this penis mask, which, may I add, is absolutely hideous. Penises are not the most attractive organs, but this mask is really doing dicks everywhere an injustice. She says it’s for a bachelorette weekend. But that’s too cruel to do to a bride-to-be. Is she trying to put the girl off sex for the rest of her life? I suspect this may be her way of telling us she’s having a boy. She does love a good Twitpic announcement. Discuss. [Buzzfeed]

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