A 21-year-old Australian tattoo artist is facing two counts of assault after inking an unwanted tattoo on his friend’s back. The 25-year-old victim didn’t really want a tattoo in the first place, but the artist in question convinced him to get a ying yang symbol with some dragons. That sounds fugly enough, yet even fuglier was the 16-inch penis and a gay slur he emerged with. The peen-tooist will now have to face a jury while the dude with the d**k on his back will have to face some serious time under the laser. [Metro] Keep reading »
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Slate’s Dear Prudence has gotten a letter from a woman with a real problem on her hands: her man has a tiny penis. She’s 30, and he’s a great guy, but his penis is so small, after Googling the matter, she came to the conclusion that he may have a “micropenis.” What’s the problem? “When you can’t feel anything during the act, that’s a problem.” We’re going to have to agree on that one.
Find out what Prudie advises, and then tell us in the comments what you’d tell the woman with the man with the small penis. Keep reading »
Did you think you’d found the man of your dreams, only to discover he only had one penis? I hate it when that happens! Thankfully, if your boyfriend or husband suffers from the dreaded mono-penis, there is a cure. It’s called Peniplus, and by taking just a few pills a day, your man will start growing penises everywhere. Frankly, I’m not sure how you’re supposed to have sex with a guy who has a penis growing out the side of his neck, but I guess where there’s a will, there’s a way. They’re going to have to rewrite the Kama Sutra — thanks to Peniplus! [Gorilla Mask] Keep reading »
“I used to keep it in my desk drawer. And I’d take it out and slap my friends in the face with it. I don’t keep many things from my movies, but that just seemed to have personal significance.”
If I could, I’d swap my penis for a vagina. Just for a day. I’m both physically and emotionally attached to my urinary and reproductive pleasure nodule. But I’d be lying if I wrote that I’m not curious as to what it’s like to have a secret garden. This curiosity does not call into question my sexuality, nor does it suggest that I’m an enlightened man who longs to experience the burdens of the feminine condition. The female reproductive organ is a source of endless fascination to men. We desire its sensual folds, fear its bloody mysteries, and owe it our very existence. One day I think it will be possible for men and women to trade genitals for fun and recreation. Keep reading »
No video game could be quite so depraved as “Bonetown,” the world’s first action-adventure porno video game. But a new game called “Privates” rachets up the shock factor. Tiny soldiers storm through the human body’s private parts, blasting STDs, sperm and poop and yelling nonsense like, “Oh hey, look, a massive vagina!” Keep reading »