Tag Archives: penis

Grab Those Snippers! San Francisco Judge Nixes Circumcision Ban On Ballot

Snip away, San Francisco! A judge ruled yesterday that the city cannot vote on whether to ban circumcision on the ballot next election. The ban, which was spearheaded by activist Lloyd Schofield, would have made “genital mutilation” of minors punishable by a $1,000 fine or a year in prison. The Jewish community was meshuggenah about the ban, as circumcising infants is part of their religious practice. But religious or moral reasons are not why Superior Court Judge Loretta Giorgi nixed the ballot initiative: she agreed there are compelling medical reasons for circumcision and laws regulating doctors and healing professions must be made on the state level. Schofield is expected to appeal. Keep reading »

Stephen Colbert Sends Up Summer’s Eve Douche Douchiness (NSFW)

Stephen Colbert is always on the lookout for injustice against menfolk. And where do men suffer the most than in the field of genital cleaning products? Women have long enjoyed empowering cleaning agents marketed to their dirty vaginas. But the poor, dirty penis? Shamefully ignored. What nerve!

When Summer’s Eve douche products unveiled their new “Hail To The V” commercials last week, Colbert could not take it any longer. This injustice has to stop. Thank God men now have Fresh Pine Dick Scrub so that you, like your lady counterparts, can screw around with what nature intended. May you never feel embarrassed about that not-so-fresh feeling ever again. [Colbert Nation] Keep reading »

Money Shot: Girl Opens Wide For Penis Dog

If you plan on visiting Taiwan anytime soon, you too can enjoy a penis dog. This sexy version of the more traditional hot dog on a stick can now be purchased from street vendors. Yum? [Doobybrain] Keep reading »

Today In Terribleness: Catherine Kieu Becker Puts Husband’s Penis In Garbage Disposal

Remember the name Catherine Kieu Becker because she is the new Lorena Bobbit. Last night, the 48-year-old California woman poisoned her husband’s dinner, tied him to the bed, cut his penis off with a knife, tossed it in the garbage disposal, and turned it on. Why? Becker told officers that her husband “deserved it.” Even though the couple was in the middle of a divorce, police did not find her motive acceptable. Ahem. I don’t believe there is anything a man could do to warrant his penis ending up in the garbage disposal. Becker was arrested and charged with aggravated mayhem, false imprisonment, assault with a deadly weapon, administering a drug with intent to commit a felony, poisoning and spousal abuse. Feel free to place your hands protectively over your crotch now, men and women. [KTLA] Keep reading »

Prince William Molds A Willy Out Of Clay

Before heading back across the pond after an exciting trip to North America, Prince William and Kate Middleton spent some time getting crafty with the kids at Los Angeles’ Inner City Arts yesterday. Dare I suggest that Prince William seems to be constructing a giant dong out of clay? Oh Willy! Keep reading »

Anthony Weiner’s Wiener Gets Leaked Online

On Monday, when conservative blogger Andrew Breitbart (left) released the images Anthony Weiner had sent to assorted e-conquests in a slow reveal throughout the day, Breitbart made it clear that he was not going to reveal one final image, the most lewd of the bunch. “I am doing this to save his family,” he explained. “I’m trying to do the decent thing here and not release the photo.” Except that yesterday, Breitbart put the image on his phone and showed it to Opie and Anhony while doing a radio interview with them. The infamous shock jocks were filming the interview and took a screengrab of the picture. They promptly posted it on their Twitter feed.

Brietbart, of course, seemed surprised. Keep reading »

Quickies: Angelina Praises Brad’s Hefty Package & Why Is Bill O’Reilly Screaming At Kim Kardashian?

  • Angelina Jolie praised the size of Brad Pitt’s penis, calling him “physically a real man … in all things that it means.” The kids are gonna love reading that quote in 10 years. [Celebuzz]
  • Naomi Campbell may sue Cadbury, the chocolate company, for an ad she says is racist which reads, “Move over Naomi, there’s a new diva in town.” She told the UK Independent, “It’s upsetting to be described as chocolate. … It is insulting and hurtful.” [Styleite]
  • Prince William and Kate Middleton asked for their baller Seychelles honeymoon villa to be stocked with Brussels sprouts and cream cheese. How … romantic. [US Weekly]
  • Adele might release a new album as soon as next May. Hooray! [ONTD]

Keep reading »

Bangladesh Woman Cuts Off Accused Rapist’s Penis

A 40-year-old woman in Bangladesh cut off the penis of a man she said tried to sexually assault her. She then took it to the local police station as evidence.

Damn. Keep reading »

Watch Two Dudes Play The Piano With Their Penises

There is no reason for you to watch this video other than to make you laugh and possibly make you stupider. But if you’re OK with that bargain, then by all means check out this video from the Greek version of “Britain’s Got Talent” of two men who can play a grand piano with their penises. Bravissimo! [YouTube via Glamour] Keep reading »

All Hail Harry’s Royal Bulge

I had a feeling about Prince Harry. Consider my hunch confirmed. Harry is packing some serious heat. I shall get on my knees and genuflect in awe and reverence. [Trudymade] Keep reading »

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