Tag Archives: penis

Dude, Where’s My Dick? One Man’s Routine Circumcision Goes Very Wrong

You know how sometimes you go to the hairdresser asking for just a trim, but you worry that they’ll get chop-happy and cut off more than you asked for? Well, imagine that happening to your penis.

A man named Johnny Lee Banks Jr. recently went to the hospital for a routine circumcision (in as much as getting circumcised as an adult is routine), and woke up from surgery to find that they had amputated his penis. We’re talking gone with the wind, people. Rightfully so, Johnny and his wife, Zelda, are now suing the Princeton Baptist Medical Center in Alabama for the botched job and for their personal suffering from the incident. Keep reading »

Rapper Andre Johnson Cut Off His Own Penis Because “Sex Is For Mortals And I Am A God”

  • Finally, we have answers about why rapper Andre Johnson cut off his own penis and proceeded to jump off a second-story building back in April. He told E! News, “Yes, I was using drugs that night, but I was in complete control. I cut it off because that was the root of all my problems. My solution to the problem was the realization was that sex is for mortals and I am a god. … Those kinds of activities got me into trouble, and I came here to be a god.” His junk was successfully reattached, in case you’re wondering. [The Grio]
  • Eva Mendes kept her pregnancy hidden by basically becoming a prisoner in her own home. [RYAN TOO. -- Amelia] [People] Keep reading »

Rapper Who Cut Off His Own Penis Wants His Reattached Dick To Appear In Porn

Rapper Who Cut Off His Own Penis Wants His Reattached Dick To Appear In Porn

Perhaps you remember the story of Andre Johnson (aka Christ Bearer), the rapper who, back in April, cut off his own penis (second item) and then jumped off a second floor balcony.  (He claims he was high on PCP at the time, making this story pretty much the best PCP deterrent I’ve ever heard.) Well, there’s good news! In May, doctors were able to complete a successful surgical reattachment of Johnson’s johnson and that it’s now “fully functional” again. Um, really? That’s amazing!

“Does it work?! Can Chris Brown dance? Can Kanye West rant? Can Jay Z fight off a trick?” Johnson yelled in a video you can watch on TMZ. Keep reading »

Meet China’s Hands-Free Sperm Extractor Machine (For The Times When A Regular Handjob Won’t Do)

sperm extractor
Look, Ma, No Hands!

File this one under “Things I Had To Check Weren’t A Clickhole Post First”: hospitals in China have machines to extract sperm. The hands-free gizmos are used by urology departments to manually pump out semen through a “massage pipe” when extracting it the, ummm, normal way doesn’t work anymore. Apparently it is used for sperm donation? I dunno, the sperm extractor looks unappealingly antiseptic and clinical to me (video is SFW), although I guess it’s not much different than a Fleshlight. Pity the poor urological nurse in charge of clean up! [IFL Science]

The 5 Most Ridiculous Products Made For Crotch Maintenance

crotch-products

Genitals are perhaps the only thing in the world that everyone loves and most people don’t mind sharing with others. That’s why they also tend to be fairly well-maintained, be it by rigorous daily training using the … um, workout material we find on the Internet, or by flat out gluing our junk full of Swarovski crystals.

I’m not saying that taking care of our fun bits is a bad thing. For the most part, it’s the best thing. It’s just that some of the stuff we subject them to seems a tad … overkill. Read more on Cracked…

Jonah Falcon To Become Penis Museum’s Most Outstanding Member (NSFW)

Penis Size Map
The United States falls "short," ha ha ha. Read More »

Jonah Falcon received an extraordinary gift at birth, and now he wants to give back.

The 43-year-old Manhattanite is recognized for having the longest penis ever measured in a documentary, a distinction that has made him an Internet star. He has declined many opportunities in porn. But now, he has an offer he can’t refuse. Read more on Huffington Post…

Big News, Big Guys: There’s Finally A Pair Of Slim-Fit Jeans With Room To Accommodate Your Penis & Balls

Slimbs Slim-Fit Jeans
No More Moose-Knuckle!

A couple weeks ago we introduced you to the “anti-thigh gap jeans,” made specifically for those of us who have a little more thigh meat than traditional skinny jeans allow for. Today, we’d like to introduce you to another specialty fit denim innovation, but this one is for men who have a little extra man meat. The jeans are called Slimbs. Their mantra? “Slim fit jeans that aren’t a pain to your manhood.” While that tagline (not to mention the screenshot of their promotional video) might make you laugh, the jeans are far from gimmicky. Slimbs are high quality (each pair even comes with a guaranteed repair service), American-made, ethically manufactured, stylish, and affordable. No wonder they’ve almost doubled their fundraising goal on Kickstarter already. Check out the video above for more info, and let your balls breathe a sigh of relief for the roomier digs they’ll be enjoying soon. [Kickstarter]

We Should Obviously All Go See This Documentary About A Penis Museum Called “The Final Member”

trailer park
This Trailer Is Only Kinda SFW

Who needs Iceland’s beautiful scenery and hot springs when you can visit The Icelandic Phallological Museum instead? The Reykjavik museum is the world’s most diverse (and only?) penis museum, housing specimens from every mammal in the country. Keep reading »

Does A Circumcised Penis Result In Better Sex?

the-penis-debate

For a lot of American women, the thought of the uncircumcised penis is repulsive. (Sorry, guys!) It’s not that we’re against a penis that rocks a turtleneck, but it’s just something to which we’re not accustomed. You can’t be mad at us if we recoil in fear and confusion when face-to-face with an uncut member! It’s not our fault we’re American! Read what several experienced women had to say about uncircumcised penises on Your Tango…

Dude Suffers Terrifying Seven-Week Erection After Biking Accident

Broken Penises
There is a new spokesman for broken penises. Watch »
8-Month Erection
man-sues-over-8-month-erection
Having an erection that last for 8 months? Do not like. Read More »
erection

After a mountain biking crash, a 22-year-old Irish man found himself with an erection that lasted for seven weeks. When he slammed into his handle bars during the crash, he was left with a hard-on that just wouldn’t quit. He kept the result of his “irregular bloodflow” to himself for five weeks (how he managed that is beyond me) and finally paid a visit to Tallaght Hospital in Dublin, where it took doctors two weeks to find a way to treat it. His otherwise good health made the rare case even more baffling. Keep reading »

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