“He has to be good in bed and the size matters. You know what I mean? The inner beauty counts as well, but without a toy it doesn’t make it fun. Right now I don’t want to have a serious relationship, I want to have fun. I love flirting at the moment. I’m single and I’m enjoying my freedom. But I don´t give my phone number out that often. But if I’m dating, I check the boy from the top to the bottom.”

—Rihanna on sizing up potential dates in the German magazine Bravo [Post Chronicle]

Thinking about relocating? Better check out Manhunt’s state-by-state penis size ranking. The gay hookup site had their users “self-identify” how many inches they’re packing below the belt (erect or flaccid, we’re not sure) and then averaged out the sizes in each state. So which state has the biggest boner? Washington, D.C. came in first with 7.59 inches of man meat, while New York (7.5 inches) and California (7.45 inches) came in second and third. As for the smallest? Sadly for those of us anticipating Levi Johnston’s nudie spread, Alaska came in dead last at 6.34 inches. Well, it is cold there. Shrinkage should really be taken into account, no? [BuzzFeed]

You’ll never see a dude turn to another dude and ask, “Do I look fat in these pants?” But that doesn’t mean men are invulnerable to insecurities, no matter how much we’d like to think so. Women are upfront about their fears, doubts, and self-esteem. I used to think it was just compulsive gabbiness, a quirk of the fairer sex. But, in fact, it is an admirable coping mechanism that’s even a little bit courageous. That said, I’ll sack up and admit that I’ve spent a lot of my life feeling like a fatty, a chubasaurus, half-man and half-marshmallow.

When it comes to orgasms, we all are left wondering what will make the magic happen for us. For ladies, sometimes seeing an impressive instrument is believing. Heck, even I obsessed over “How To Predict The Size Of A Penis.” But does the distance of his dong really matter when it comes to coming?

Perverted, inquiring minds want to know: how deep can a man’s love go? While the vag is designed to accommodate the shape of whatever penis it gets poked with, guys, you can’t blame us for fantasizing about your phallus. Sure, we all know size is almost completely irrelevant when it comes to actually orgasming, especially since roughly 80% of women only get off with clitoral action. Frankly, we Frisky gals have certainly seen a range of shapes and sizes, and have never been discouraged. I swear, Dr. V is no size queen! I’ve had not-so-hot sex with men who didn’t know how to bank on their impressive endowments, and have had gigantic O’s from little dudes who’ve proven less can really be more. But still, for some reason, dicks are a big deal. So, here are some helpful hints on how you can size up a man while he’s still got his pants on.

Rumor has it, Jesus Luz, Madonna’s current Brazilian boy toy, is rocking an uncut member, Shia LaBeouf confessed to Playboy that he isn’t well-endowed, and Jared Leto reportedly has the biggest (living) dong in Hollywood. After the jump, celebs dish on the packages they were given or were happy/unhappy to receive.

If there’s one thing I’ve learned writing these columns, it’s that you ladies have penis on the brain. Which is why I’m going to admit that my penis is so huge, so gargantuan, that when I get excited, I barely have enough skin with which to whistle. Seriously. It’s like three grapefruits in a gym sock. Trash bags are my preferred prophylactic. I ain’t bragging or nothin’.

Does size really matter? How do you know your vagina isn’t all floppy? I knew a dude once who described sleeping with a woman as “driving a hatchback through the Lincoln Tunnel.” I am convinced y’all make so much of a fuss about size as a passive-aggressive way to get back at dudes who you perceive as judging you solely by your boobs, waist, and butt. But when it comes to sex, good sex, bite-mark-on-the-shoulder sex, we are the sum of our physical, and emotional, parts. Otherwise, you’re not having sex. You’re just slapping bits.

On the newest episode of “The Real World: Brooklyn” (the show started last week and has been relatively boring), one of the male housemates made a big show of having to use Magnum condoms. Oh really dude? Seriously, there is no bigger marketing scam than Magnums, except maybe New Coke, only New Coke failed, and Magnums, for whatever reason, are still on shelves.

Recently, I described a mutual friend to my friend T. as “the guy with the big c**k.” Then I felt a little guilty, like I was giving away a huge (zing!) secret; she was surprised at this description, having never thought about him in a sexual way, whereas I meant it as both a compliment and simply what I remember best about our time as f**k buddies. It also made me remember another guy with a unique but still vexing sexual problem: the too-big dick. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, there is such a thing as too much when it comes to penis size. Bigger is not necessarily better, and while I’ve been with one or two guys who bordered on overly large, this one should win some sort of booby prize.

We all have insecurities don’t we? When I was a teenager, I was hit with a triple dose of the fuglies, getting glasses, braces, and a raging case of acne within a two month period. I don’t think the insecurity that arose during that time has ever gone away completely, though now I worry more about my muffin top than I do about my skin. That said, some women obsess way too much about their so-called “imperfections”. But what about dudes? Do they spend hours starring in the mirror, willing the gigantic whiteheads between their brows to go away? I decided to ask the guys on my IM about men and body insecurities. When none of them brought up the size of their penis, I, of course, asked.

“The guy I’m dating is seriously under-endowed. Is this a total deal-breaker?”—Dick-appointed, via email
Have you had sex already? If you have, then you know the answer better than I do. Just ask yourself this: Was it good?
When women experience orgasms during sex, it usually has nothing to do with how far in a penis goes or how wide. Most women’s orgasms are clitoral, and are achieved when pressure from the man’s pelvic bone rubs against her. The G-spot (which needs to be stimulated in order for a vaginal orgasm to be achieved) doesn’t exist in every woman, but those who do have it can reach it with their finger. I don’t know when the last time you measured your finger was (I measure mine all the time), but it’s not that long. Get my drift?