All this inclement weather just makes me want to dance. Thank God for RuPaul’s sickening, new music video for her single “Peanut Butter” featuring Big Freedia. It must be jelly cause jam don’t shake, hunty. I’m going to be making peanut butter and jelly sandwiches all weekend. That wasn’t code for something gross. I just meant I’m going to do a lot of dancing. [ONTD]
Remember that dream you had in middle school to have the coolest boyfriend ever? Well guess what? These guys are all up for grabs. So girls, don’t fight (it’s not attractive!), there are enough Be My Boyfriends to go around. Keep reading »
As Sarah Silverman once said, “A couple of nights ago I was licking jelly off my boyfriend’s penis. And I thought, ‘Oh my God, I’m turning into my mother!”
Yes, we have all raided the fridge during a romp in the sack with our boo — and if we didn’t know any better, Tide detergent made us their bitch afterwards. Sometimes a girl just wants to spice things up in the bedroom with a tasty treat … but we’re pretty sure actual spices are an emergency-trip-to-the-gyno bad idea. Here’s your definitive guide to bedroom-friendly foods and the ones you should keep in the kitchen! Keep reading »
There have been a lot of crazy crimes but this one is completely nuts: a Michigan woman is under investigation for assault, because she mailed a letter coated with peanut butter to her ex-husband, whose new wife just happens to have a peanut allergy.
The wife with the goober allergy picked up the letter soaked with oil in her Battle Creek, Mich mailbox only to see a warning scrawled on the envelope that it contained peanut butter, the Battle Creek Enquire reported.
Reports didn’t indicate if it was a chunky or smooth spread smeared on the letter. Read more… Keep reading »
Vitamin E is supposedly known as “the sexuality vitamin” and peanut and peanut products are “recommended by at least three leading sexologists for a restorative diet,” according to the website AllAboutStuff.com, which my friend Josh directed me to because peanut butter is my favorite food. We’re not sure who these sexologists are, but a dollop of delicious peanut butter never hurt anyone. For a better sex life, make sure you make time for peanut butter jelly time — in the bedroom or elsewhere. [AllAboutStuff.com] Keep reading »
Kissing is a strange phenomenon. At its most basic, kissing involves you and another person touching lips. Later, if you’re advanced, the lips part, tongues get involved, and spit is swapped. Sometimes there’s biting. Kissing is perhaps the most glorious invention ever, but like other wonders of the world (i.e., peanut butter), it’s not always good (Skippy, for example, is way too salty). The worst kiss I have ever been party to still makes me cringe when I think back on it. The gentleman seemed to think utilizing techniques typically reserved for going down on a woman would enhance the moment. It did not. Amelia’s worst involved a man making out with her armpit. Have you had worse than us? For your sake I hope not, but for our sake, I hope so. Please share. Keep reading »