It’s been brought to my attention by the couple conspicuously making out on Julie’s subway, the now infamous Lollapalooza finger banging pair (pictured above) and the viral video of the week which features a kid in the park standing nearby while his parents fuck that some couples don’t know what’s socially acceptable when it comes to PDA. Actually, it hasn’t just been brought to my attention. I’ve known this for a long time — since my first job as a hostess at Chili’s when I found two people doing it on booth. My reaction was to start crying. I was 16, so I forgive myself for that reaction. That was 20 years ago, so this compendium has truly been a long time in the making. But — deep breath — I can avoid it no longer. Below are some guidelines for displaying affection in public so that it’s not gross/weird/annoying to others. Keep reading »
Dear Couple Sucking Face,
The first time I saw you, in Manhattan’s Union Square station, I thought maybe you were saying goodbye, for like, a long time. How else to explain the five minutes of intense, face-sucking, ass-grabbing making out you two were getting into? As you stood there, right where the station splits off between the N, R and L trains, hundreds of commuters strode by, many of them transfixed by your tongues darting in and out of each other’s mouths. I stopped and watched for a second, too, concocting a fictional back story for the strange configuration in front of me. He worked in finance, and was heading down to Wall Street to trade some futures or something. She’d been visiting from out of town, flying back to her home in Minneapolis, to a soul-sucking job as an insurance adjuster. This makeout session was the culmination of five days of total bliss, sealed with promises to return as soon as possible.
But oh, I was so wrong about you two. Keep reading »
Oh, excuse us for interrupting your private moment, Kim and Kanye. Wait, never mind, you’re out in public playing grab ass, why are we apologizing? Kim is the one who’s known for her famous fanny, but it seems she has a fondness of her own for the junk in Kanye’s trunk. She’s really up there, isn’t she? Is she holding on that tight because she’s afraid of falling in the rain? Careful, girl.
We’ve noticed quite a few famous folks who can’t help showing their feelings for the fanny by giving their partner a little love tap or a big squeeze. Maybe they’re just double checking that their babe’s butt is still there? Click on for photos of celebs latching on to a badonkadonk. Brace yourself—this slideshow is full of dangerous curves.
Love was in the air this week in Hollywood–or so it seems! TooFab enlisted body language expert Toni Coleman to decipher what’s really up with these seemingly lovey-dovey couples.
So are Kate Hudson and Matt Bellamy really head-over-heels? What about Jessica Alba and Cash Warren? Check out what Coleman says. It may surprise you!
Halle Berry & Olivier Martinez: “They look a bit detached,” says Coleman. “She looks like she’s putting on a happy face, he looks like he doesn’t want to be there.” Read more… Keep reading »
“I would make out in the park! That’s the thing I would most enjoy doing in New York, and it’s something I’ll never do. I’d also have loud, public conversations with my friends about personal things. Even if no one is paying attention—and most of the time, no one cares—you never know who is at the next table.”
—Natalie Portman describes the number one thing she would do if she weren’t famous. Good call on that one! Making out in parks is one of the most glorious things about spring and summer in New York. [People] Keep reading »
Saturday night’s Screen Actors Guild Awards were pretty ho-hum with, well, all of the major movie acting awards going to exactly the same people who won them at the Golden Globes—outstanding actress Sandra Bullock, outstanding actor Jeff Bridges, outstanding supporting actress Mo’Nique and outstanding supporting actor Christoph Waltz. But was it just me, or did everyone at the awards show come off as major horndogs? There was Michael C. Hall, who won for best actor in a drama, saying, “I want to thank my wife for wearing that dress,” which, whatever, he’s two-thirds of the way through cancer treatment, so he can do what he wants. Not as cute? Woody Harrelson sucking face with his wife during the nominations for his category, outstanding supporting actor. Mo’Nique was also in the kissing spirit, planting one on Aunt Dot, Christoph Waltz and Morgan Freeman before accepting her award. Betty White also got a little randy. Accepting the lifetime achievement award, she said, “I am still to this day starstruck. I look out at this audience and I see so many famous faces. But what really boggles my mind is that I actually know many of you. And I’ve worked with quite a few. Maybe had a couple.” And then there was Sandra, who called out her hubby Jesse James in her acceptance speech. “I love you so much,” she said. “And you’re really hot. I want you so much!” Thanks for letting us know, Sandy?
What did you think—sweet or get a room, folks? Keep reading »
This weekend, after attending a friend’s birthday party, I took a cab with my boyfriend to his apartment. We were drunkish and spent most of the taxi ride chatting and joking around, but at some point, I started smooching a bit on him. Now, I am slightly unusual in that I am not really anti-PDA — I was called out that night, in fact, by the birthday boy for wrapping my legs around my BF’s waist in front of everyone. However, the smooching in the cab was pretty G-rated — no tongue! Even still, our cab driver almost immediately said, “Excuse me. This is a taxi that delivers people to their destinations. This is not a taxi that you can pretend is a hotel.” It was pretty clear he was actually offended by our PDA and I concluded that maybe he was extremely religious and kissing my boyfriend was whoreish or something. Either way, I scooted over to my side of the backseat and behaved myself for the duration of the ride. The BF and I had a good laugh about it later, because neither of us had ever been told to, essentially, “Get a room!” Have you ever been called out for PDA? Keep reading »
With all the talk about legalizing gay marriage and decriminalizing marijuana, we started thinking about the super-important stuff that we wish the po-po would come in and regulate. After the jump, 30 unacknowledged crimes that should be illegal. Keep reading »