For the past 10 years, the Coachella Music Festival has brought hundreds of thousands of panting people to Indio, CA to shake their moneymakers. [NY Times]. So, put on an ironic tee, grab a PBR, and climb on the shoulders of some dude you just met in Elvis Costello specs. It’ll feel just like being there, I promise.

After the jump, highlights from the festival, including Paul McCartney (dedicating his set to his dear departed Linda), Leonard Cohen, and M.I.A. glowing in the dark.

Paul McCartney loves American women. We can’t blame him! When he wasn’t holding a guitar at the Grammy’s last night, Macca was grabbing his new girlfriend, New York millionairess Nancy Shevell. So, who is this woman feeling up on our favorite Beatle? The goods are after the jump …

MUSIC

• Guns N’ Roses Chinese Democracy Axl Rose’s anthemic rock voice still makes my panties wetter than the November rain. Chinese Democracy, inflated by all the hype and a very, very long wait, surprisingly lives up to its promise—even with the all new band line-up. “Better” has some of the sickest guitar squeals and “IRS” crunches the classic GNR sound. So, “This I Love” makes me think Axl wants to sing on Broadway, and his mid-life crisis frat bro meets Rasta look isn’t sexy, but the music is still solid gold. This is not an album GNR could have made in the ‘80s when they were kids. It’s a bold, fresh, marvelous record that’ll bury Axl’s eccentricities and lift him up like the awesome rock star he truly is, even after all these years. Thanks for the free Dr. Pepper…and my new jams!

Shock rocker Marilyn Manson and actress/Lolita Evan Rachel Wood have split up after two years and twin heart tattoos. While they looked like a match made in Hot Topic heaven, they probably seemed so happy because they were high off the fumes from their his and her black nail polish. Well, breaking up is hard to do, so we hope their division doesn’t get as bloody as their music video for “Heart Shaped Glasses.”  On the upside, since she did the dumping, we’re sure Evan Rachel’s ready to rebound! We bet she’s looking forward to making out with a guy who won’t leave his lipstick all over her face.  So, we’ve rounded up some dark and lovely dudes for her to pick from, after the jump…

Linda McCartney died of cancer 10 years ago, and Paul put together an exhibit of her best photos, which is taking place in London this month. Paul and Linda probably had issues, like any couple, but it’s hard not to look back at their marriage and think how wonderful it must have been, especially in contrast to Paul’s marriage to Heather Mills. I’d feel a little bad for Heather right now if she weren’t so crazy.

Amidst this Heather Mills mess, you may have forgotten that Paul McCartney had a wife before her. Paul and Linda were married for 29 years, until she died 1998. Paul writes about their relationship in The Sunday Times, sharing the details of their first meeting and more. [The Times, U.K.]

Have you ever dreamed that you slept with your father? Or rode a mechanical bull while a coworker watched? We have and were disturbed for months. Fortunately, dreams don’t always mean what you think they do, and having sex with your father is nothing to worry about, so long as it only happens in your subconscious. Here, we ask psychologist Veronica Tonay, Ph.D. to decode your crazy dreams each and every week, so that you can sleep at night, and dream some more.

THE DREAM IN QUESTION: I never had fantasy dreams when I was single, but now that I’m committed to one person, I have them all the time. I once dreamed that I met present-day Paul McCartney, my favorite Beatle, at a Stella McCartney fashion show. We had sex in an abandoned, pink Spanish-style house with no windows that was covered in ivy. Then, we moved it to the roof of his silver Mercedes, which was parked outside under a big tree. —Kickin’ It With Macca

Heather Mills is in big trouble! Her old lover Tim Steel, a former male model, claims she cheated on Paul McCartney with him for six months. Steel says she loved for him to rub her amputee stump and that she would roll out of his bed and into lavish romantic vacations with her Beatle husband without batting an eyelash. This bomb dropped just in time, since the divorce court battle over alimony (why no pre-nup you hopeless romantic hippie?) and custody of their daughter Beatrice, 4, began today in London. It’s been a long and winding road to finalize the split and finally the peace loving Paul has been given the ammo he needs to defeat the gold digging she-devil who has broken his heart, gone after $98 million settlement, and above all, slandered his name. In court, McCartney will have to defend himself against allegations of spousal abuse as Heather acts as her own lawyer. While Mills may have previous experience as a soft-core porn star in the 80’s, this time she’s going to be the one getting whipped. Good riddance! We’d just like to say to the newly single Sir Paul, you’ll always be our knight in shining armor. [Reuters and Perez Hilton]