“The romance is obviously going out of the marriage. You know, it may be your mom isn’t as sweet as you think she is; she may be kind of hard-nosed.
A woman came to a preacher I know — it’s so funny. She was awful looking. Her hair was all torn up, she was overweight and looked terrible. And she said, ‘Oh, Reverend, what can I do? My husband has started to drink.’ And the preacher looked at her and he said, ‘Madam, if I were married to you, I’d start to drink too.’”
– Priceless relationship tips from televangelist Pat Robertson on “The 700 Club,” trying to help a 17-year-old who is concerned his father is ignoring his mother. I think we should give Robertson his own column on The Frisky, so he can share his unique perspective on love with us all. Amelia, what sort of budget do we have for this? [Queerty]
This guy. This fuckin’ guy. Right-wing televangelist Pat Robertson has made it clear that he does not blame David Petraeus for the extramarital affair that led him to resign from his postion as director of the CIA. No, Robertson says his mistress/biographer Paula Broadwell is the one at fault, implying that she initiated the affair (though there has been no evidence to support that) and that Petraeus was unable to resist her advances. Speaking on his show “The 700 Club,” his show, Robertson excused Petraeus’ conduct as understandable because “the man’s off in a foreign land and he’s lonely and here’s a good-looking lady throwing herself at him. He’s a man.” Putting aside the fact that Robertson is just making stuff up (we don’t know who threw themselves as whom), the idea that any man, particularly a four-star general, is too weak to resist the charms of a woman and is therefore not to blame for succumbing to those temptations is utterly ridiculous. For the record, I don’t care that Petraeus had an affair (although if there was a breach in national security, that’s a whole other issue) and I certainly don’t think it’s worth our time debating who is to “blame” for two adults having consensual sex. Both of them, end of story. Moving on now. [Think Progress]
You are never going to believe this, dear readers, but some women like porn—a bit of news that came as a major shock to Pat Robertson. “I mean, the thing that shocks me—shocks me—we always thought this was a male thing. A boy thing. A guy thing,” Robertson says in a cringe-worthy “700 Club” clip spotted by Right Wing Watch and The New York Post.
“While most people think of pornography as something men struggle with, a third of the millions of Americans who watch porn are … women! And they’re getting addicted to it!” Roberston went on, as his female co-host strove valiantly to pretend that she, too, was shocked by this revelation. Read more…
It was a very bad week for bunnies. Not only did Til, the famous mutant German bunny with no ears, get squished to death this week, but Miss Cooper, a bunny that lived in an NYC boutique, was stolen, too! We also talked about the veritable epidemic plaguing women: migraines. And we discussed the baby geniuses in New Hampshire that are trying to pass a law that would make it okay for doctors to tell women that abortions cause cancer. Which is not true. Mmkay. Tipping the scales for good this week: Well, the finale may have sucked, but we’ll always have “The Bachelor” sketchbook. Pat Robertson, who generally never has anything nice to say, says oral sex is okay (within specific parameters, of course). And the awesome story of the women of Virginia, who were frustrated with Senator Ryan McDougle, an ardent supporter of that state’s transvaginal ultrasound bill. They figured if he cared so much about their vaginas they’d left him know what was going on with them all the time, so they began providing graphic vagina updates on his Facebook wall. Rock on!
Rest assured, everyone: oral sex is not bad for you. TV evangelist Pat Robertson decrees it to be so! He was speaking strictly to a married man and woman, so the jury is still out on the morality of us
strumpets single girls going down. Nevertheless, we are somewhat comforted by his logic that “It’s what’s in your mind … if to you it’s sin, it’s sin.” (Now if he could just apply that same logic to the gays.) We are eagerly waiting for Pat Robertson’s thoughts on anal. [YouTube]