Sure, sure, the Founding Fathers saved us from tyranny and taxation without representation blah, blah, blah. I doubt good old George Washington or jolly Jefferson realized the danger they were placing the future of American women in. Obama is protecting us from aliens attempting to enslave the human race, but who is going to protect us from the hidden dangers that lurk in the shadows of every 4th of July party? Well, unless you invite me I can’t stop you from attempting to line dance when you have no coordination, but I can forewarn you of the most common dangers you are likely to encounter in your red, white, and blue nautical shorts. Keep reading »
Tag Archives: party
We’ve heard of chicken pox parties, where parents get their healthy kids together with ones who have the pox hoping that they’ll pick up the germies. The idea is, since you can only get chicken pox once, to get it over with so that kids can build up their immune systems and avoid getting chicken pox vaccines. Yeah, we don’t think it’s a good idea, but at least it makes slight logical sense.
However, we just don’t get why some mothers are thinking about throwing swine flu parties. Same idea, different disease—they want to strengthen their children’s immune systems in case a stronger swine flu strain comes around in the fall. But a swine flu party is just outrageous! Doctors are firmly warning against the idea as several people have died from H1N1 in the months it’s been around. So mothers, if you know what’s best, skip the Swine Par-tay. Throw a Dora, Dora, the Explorer shindig instead. [CNN] Keep reading »
Party girl alert: It’s National Singles and Unmarrieds Week! While the title seems redundant, the need to celebrate never is. After all, being a free agent is totally awesome for many, many very sexy reasons. So if you’re flying solo, here are some suggestions for how to honor yourself and this completely invented, yet rad, week long holiday.
1. Get Your Booty On The Floor Tonight: It’ll make your day! Dancing is the perfect way to get your adrenaline up and make the most of the money you’ve spent on booze. There’s just something magical about dry-humping strangers and you, my single friend, are free to do so! If you for some reason don’t feel like getting into the groove, this is the sure fire cure to catch dance fever. Keep reading »