Tag Archives: parents

Dear Wendy: “How Can I Tell My Boyfriend’s Parents That I Don’t Want Their Crap?”

I’ve been in a relationship for a year and a half and everything is going great between us. We even plan to move in together this summer. The plan is to move into the apartment that my boyfriend’s parents currently live in — it legally belongs to him but his parents pay for all the expenses. His parents will move out and into their new home, and have already said that they are leaving us their old furniture, because they would like to furnish their house with completely new stuff and this way, we wouldn’t have to buy anything. That I can totally understand and I’m thankful for some of the pieces they are leaving behind. However, there is a lot I would throw out, not only because much of it is old and unusable (knives, cracked dishes, etc.), but their “style” is really old school. Now, I told them that my family and I are going to buy a new wardrobe and some other new things I want to replace, and apparently my boyfriend’s mom is not pleased by this. She told him that he should definitely keep the old furniture because otherwise, if we break up he would be left with nothing. He and I have talked about handling things during a breakup scenario and have agreed we’d like to buy new furniture and redecorate. But his mom thinks their apartment is nice and there is no reason to change things. Now I am afraid his parents will be offended if they see how much we want to refurnish and buy (with our money). How do I handle the situation without being ungrateful? — Martha Stewart Intruder

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Dater X: How The Heck Have My Parents Been Married For 40 Years?

For most single women out there, New Year’s Eve is a big deal. On December 31st, we’ll get all dolled up—preferably in sequins and heavy eyeliner—and hit the town in our 2011 New Year’s Eve glasses. (Question: How exactly are those going to work?) It’s one of the few nights a year where debaucherous drinking is not only condoned, but encouraged, and where grabbing a random stranger for a makeout session is not only okay, but tradition. The next morning, as we nurse our hangovers, we’ll have the satisfaction of standing up, wiping off the dirt of the past year, and jumping feet first into a new one—a fresh 365 days in which every possibility is open.

Yes, kiss or not, New Year’s Eve should be a great night. But for me, January 2nd will be a much bigger day. See, it’s my parents’ anniversary. As much as I think about it, I still can’t seem to wrap my head around the idea that, in less than a week, my parents will have been husband and wife for 40 freaking years. Keep reading »

Have You Had To Move Back In With Your Folks?

Despite reports to the contrary, the recession seems to be alive and well–especially if you ask those of us in our 20s and 30s who are still looking for jobs, and who might have had to move back home. I know all too well what that’s like. When I was 26, I returned from a graduate program abroad and spent two months living at my parents’ suburban two-story house. It was the home I grew up in, and coming back to it in my mid-20s felt like a grand failure. I spent every day on Craigslist, searching through terrible job after terrible job. I took a series of low-paying positions, and would sometimes work two or three shifts a day, borrowing my parents’ car to get there. I saved some money and was able to put a deposit on a two-bedroom apartment with a friend and regrouped.

Eventually, I got a better job (well, better-paying, at least) and life stabilized. But I’ll never be able to thank my parents enough for allowing me to come home. Have you ever had to move back in with your folks? Keep reading »

Money 101: How To Help Your Parents Through The Recession

It seems like the floundering economy has taken its toll on everyone in some way or another. Maybe you ended up in the unemployment line, or maybe your pantry’s stocked with nothing but store-brand food. And while the financial environment may have led you to cringe whenever you look at your checking account statement, our generation is lucky in that we have plenty of time to recover before we’re ready to start thinking seriously about retirement.

But what about your parents? If they haven’t retired already, they’re probably getting close, and they have much less time to recover if the economy took their finances down with it. Knowing how to help your parents can be tricky, but they may be at a point where they really need you. Keep reading »

Dear Wendy: “Can A Vacation Fling Turn Into The Real Thing?”

A couple of months ago I went on a foreign vacation and met a great guy. For a few days we connected, laughed, talked, and had great sex. I left him with a hug and “it was wonderful,” and thought that would be it. I wasn’t going to let myself fall into any “How Stella Got Her Groove Back” unrealistic romance. But once I got home, everything seemed dull without him. The life we’d jokingly talked about having together sounded good. We started emailing a little. Without saying anything about it, I’ve started learning his language and saving money to go back. But I’ve found myself afraid to say anything very serious to my friend … I don’t know what he’s thinking we are. The email flirting is fun, but I don’t know how to bring up the subject of anything more serious without sounding like I’m chasing him or prying (I don’t even know whether he’s started seeing someone else). After all, I was the one who made it clear nothing serious was happening when I left. What do you think I should do? Or am I totally crazy for trying to make a vacation romance into a real one? — In Love, Maybe

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Money 101: How To Make The Most Of Reverse Empty-Nesting

Sometimes when you hit rock bottom, there’s only one place to go – back home with Mom and Dad. As layoffs and overwhelming debt are knocking members of our generation on their asses, many are flocking home to the safety net they couldn’t wait to escape at age 18. There isn’t any shame in going home to catch your breath and regroup, but there’s a way to approach the situation so you really do get back on your feet and avoid causing more angst than the My Chemical Romance blaring from your little brother’s room.

The Frisky hit up Rick Kahler, an NAPFA-registered, fee-only financial advisor and author of four books on financial planning and money psychology, for advice on how to move home and get independent without feeling like you’re re-living the turmoil of your Jordan Catalano-crushing youth all over again. Keep reading »

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