Tag Archives: Parenting

The Soapbox: On Steubenville High School & Teaching Boys Not To Rape

Watch The Video
Steubenville High students laugh about recent rape. Read More »
steubenville rape case
hacktivist
Hacktivists threaten to release personal information of alleged rapists. Read More »
Wishes Of Rape
Why wishing rape upon rapists is not OK. Read More »

My son turns six next week, and among all the other wishes I have for him, I have a silent hope that won’t be shared at his birthday party. It’s one that swims in the depths of my mind, surfacing occasionally when awful things happen that force me to think about it: I wish and hope and pray that my son won’t grow up to be a rapist.

I know that sounds horrible and not a wish a mother of a six year old should even have in the back of her mind, let alone flashing loud and red and painful throughout it. But I can’t help it. We live in a society that is steeped in rape culture, no matter how many people refuse to acknowledge that reality. My worry was driven home more forcefully after watching a video that Anonymous posted online of Steubenville High School students talking about the rape of a 16-year-old fellow student. This case is heartbreaking enough — the victim was sexually assaulted while drunk and unconscious, only to have the photographic proof of her rape spread all over various social media outlets. Her attackers, Trent Mays and Ma’lik Richmond, two football players for the high school’s team The Big Red, were let off relatively lightly, subjected to being under house arrest. However, the victim was also punished, forbidden by the judge in the case from sharing any details of the case, essentially re-victimizing her. Keep reading »

Girl Talk: Motherhood & The Tragedy At Sandy Hook Elementary

On Motherhood
Why are we treating moms like second class citizens? Read More »
Fearing Guns
How a gun-loving West Texas girl learned to fear assault weapons. Read More »
On The Newtown Massacre
Thoughts from a woman who went through a violent attack at her school. Read More »

I am not a mother. This fact has kept me from expressing my heartbreak over the shootings in Sandy Hook. In the aftermath of this horrifying event, I’ve watched countless friends — mothers, all of them — post wrenching status updates on Facebook. I’ve read them, feeling oddly ashamed inside. These moms talked of compassion for those poor little children, of the need to step up to the plate as adults, of the fear they have for the future, of roiling anger toward the government, and of utter helplessness. They posted pictures of the beautiful young faces lost to this insane tragedy. They urged others to take a stand, and to hold their own children close.

The same thoughts streamed through my head. Tears welled in my eyes, too. I texted my siblings and begged them to hug and kiss their little ones for me.

But something was silencing the part of me that wanted to join these moms in their outrage. I felt it wasn’t my place. How could I know, after all, what kind of fear these parents were expressing? How could I possibly relate to their protective instincts? I am not a mother. Keep reading »

Jada Pinkett Smith Defends Daughter Willow’s Right To Do Her Hair However She’d Like

Will On Willow's Hair
Will Smith explains why he and Jada let Willow shave her head. Read More »
Frisky Parenting!
twins
All the posts The Frisky has ever done about parenting! Read More »
Will and Jada on Split
Are the rumors true? Read More »

“This subject is old but I have never answered it in its entirety. And even with this post it will remain incomplete. The question why I would LET Willow cut her hair. First the LET must be challenged. This is a world where women, girls are constantly reminded that they don’t belong to themselves; that their bodies are not their own, nor their power or self determination. I made a promise to endow my little girl with the power to always know that her body, spirit and her mind are HER domain. Willow cut her hair because her beauty, her value, her worth is not measured by the length of her hair. It’s also a statement that claims that even little girls have the RIGHT to own themselves and should not be a slave to even their mother’s deepest insecurities, hopes and desires. Even little girls should not be a slave to the preconceived ideas of what a culture believes a little girl should be.”

– Jada Pinkett Smith took to her Facebook page to address the played-out “controversy” over the way her 12-year-old daughter Willow cuts, dyes and styles her hair. Some, apparently, feel that Jada and husband Will Smith should exert more control over what their daughter does with her appearance, which, I suspect, stems from their discomfort that the burgeoning pop star’s look is not traditionally feminine. I absolutely love Jada’s response to this (which echoes the one her husband gave a few months ago), and especially admire the fact that she doesn’t just call out our culture’s expectations of what a little girl should be, but is also upfront that parents should not use their children to channel their own insecurities. Bravo! [Facebook via Clutch Magazine]

Astrology 101: Things You Said To Your Parents

Astro 101: Relationships
How to use astrology to improve your relationship! Read More »
Astro 101: Letting Go
Get rid of your baggage! Read More »

No matter how awesome our parents are, we’re bound to have some issues with them. Whether we hash them out in therapy or over cocktails with friends, certain complaints are going to come out again and again. And you know what? It’s possible your parent’s astrological sign has something to do with how and why you clashed with them. Which sign doesn’t give their kids a chance to speak to their mind? Which sign is super critical? And which sign thinks they’re always right? We’ve compiled a list of quotes expressing common complaints you’d have with your parent, depending on their zodiac sign. After the jump, look up your mom or dad’s sign and see if the corresponding quote is something you’ve said to them a hundred times… Keep reading »

If Your 11-Year-Old Asks For A Tattoo, You Should Probably Say No

Tanning Mom
Mother arrested for allegedly putting her 5-year-old in a tanning bed. Read More »
Mom Urges Implants
14-year-old girl urged to get breast implants by her mother. Read More »

A North Carolina woman named Odessa Clay is set to stand trial for tattooing her 11-year-old daughter with a “small, heart-shaped tattoo near her right shoulder.” The 30-year-old’s excuse for tattooing her little girl last September? “She asked me to do it,” Clay explained.

Instead of saying, “I’m sorry honey, you’ll have to wait until you’re 18 and it’s legal,” Clay broke out her tattoo gun and inked her daughter herself.  She told police that she thought tattoos for underage children were legal as long as the parent gave consent. Clay blames her arrest on her ex-in-laws who she feels reported her as retaliation for a previous dispute.

I’m sensing a subtle theme here. Well, bad parenting. And refusing to take responsibility for her actions. WORST. [Daily Mail UK]

Australia Enacts Paid Parental Leave For Dads, Gay Couples

koala baby

In America, we don’t have even have nationwide paid maternal leave. We just have the Family And Medical Leave Act, which ensures three months of unpaid job-protected leave for a new mom. Look and learn, folks, because Australia is putting us all to shame: starting in 2013, Aussies will have the Dad And Partner Leave plan, which guarantees two weeks of paid leave at minimum wage (around $630) for the father or same-sex partner after a baby is born. Australia already has paid parental leave which gives 18 weeks of paid leave at minimum wage for one parent.

Although the minimum wage aspect is not ideal for either plan, it’s so commendable that the country is helping to make it possible for parents to both be at home during those early new-baby days. Why, just look at how overwhelmed this mommy koala is at having to do all the childcare work herself! Keep reading »

People Are Not Laughing About This Picture Of A Baby Doing A Keg Stand

Baby Bong Pics
Mother arrested for posting pics of her baby with a bong on Facebook. Read More »
Mini Prince
Stop it. Just, stop. Read More »

Arizona State University police were not laughing about this picture of what appears to be a baby doing a keg stand at an ASU tailgate party. Authorities are still unclear if the photo, which originally appeared on The Dirty, was a an act of Photoshop or a real photo-op. Investigation in progress.

I certainly hope it’s not real … and so does the mother who posted those pictures on Facebook of her baby smoking a bong. I’m sure she really regrets that. When are people going to learn what’s crossing the line when it comes to baby photos? Babies in wigs: funny. Babies pounding beer: not funny. [Buzzfeed via The Dirty]

Girl Talk: I Am My Mother’s Least Favorite Child

Fears From Mom
Strange fears our mothers instilled in us. Read More »
On Motherhood
Why are we treating moms like second class citizens? Read More »

When I was little, I was convinced my mother hated me. Between my two older brothers and me, I was positive I was the one she liked least. Even at a young age I could sense I was a disappointment, that I didn’t fit the stereotype of her dream daughter: sweet, demure, cooperative, loving. I was that at first, mind you. As a baby, I rarely cried or fussed. I had big blue eyes and wore smocked dresses and ruffled bloomers. It appeared that having me was worth it, I imagine she thought, despite the fact that she was separated from my father before I was even born.

“Daisy was a perfect baby,” my mother still says. “And then she turned three.” Keep reading »

Frisky Q&A: Jessica Valenti, Author Of “Why Have Kids?” Plus, Enter To Win A Kindle Fire!

Mommy Wars Ceasefire
I want a ceasefire on the mommy wars, because it helps no one. Read More »
On Attachment Parenting
One woman's opinion about attachment parenting. Read More »
Single Mom Speaks
Rick Santorum can kiss this single, working mother's ass. Read More »

Go to the parenting section of any bookstore and there are hundreds of thousands of pages to read on how to do it and setting expectations for what the experiences should be like. Very few tackle the question of why a person, in particular a woman, should/would become a parent, and even fewer from a feminist perspective. That’s why I was so excited to read Jessica Valenti’s new book on the subject, Why Have Kids?: A New Mom Explores The Truth About Parenting And HappinessValenti is the founder of the feminist blog Feministing and author of a number of books, including The Purity Myth and Full Frontal Feminism, as well as a first-time mom to daughter Layla. Why Have Kids? is an incredibly well-researched look at the reality of parenting in America, in particular how having a child affects relationships, career aspirations, and financial security, using statistics, interviews with real women, and Valenti’s own experience as a guide. As someone who definitely does want kids, the book was still incredibly eye-opening, not to mention a total page-turner — I devoured it in a day! I was excited about getting to interview Valenti myself. Check out my Q&A with her — and enter to win a copy of Why Have Kids? and/or a Kindle Fire after the jump! Keep reading »

How To Tell Quadruplets Apart

Field Guide: Scene Kid Hair
This is some bad hair, guys. Read More »
Mini Prince
Stop it. Just, stop. Read More »
Parenting Solutions
These quadruplets' hair cuts help everyone tell them apart

Clearly, the most creative way to tell quadruplets apart is to shave numbers onto their heads. In China, that’s exactly what the mother of identical, six-year-old boys did. “My sons are identical, even to me,” said their mother, Tan Chaoyun.”Even now, their father can’t tell which one is which … Sometimes, he punishes the second one for something the third one has done.”  Yeah, that would suck. With their new haircuts, one, two, three and four — or whatever their actual names are — can be easily identified both at school and at home. [AU News]

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