Tag Archives: parenthood

Study: Maybe Millennials Aren’t Into The Whole Marriage And Babies Thing

single woman cat

Millennials aren’t exactly lining up to tie the knot, according to a new report from the Pew Research Center.

Researchers asked people of every generation whether they believe society is better off if people prioritize marriage and children. Of all the participants combined, 46 percent said society would be better off, while 50 percent thought society will do just as well if people have priorities other than marriage and babymaking (the remaining participants were either undecided or refused to respond). But what is especially notable here is that among 18- to 29-year-olds,  only 29 percent said society would be better off with marriage and kids at the forefront. Keep reading »

Emma Thompson Weighs In On Balancing Work With Motherhood: “You Don’t Need It All At Once”

“You can’t be a great mum and keep working all the time. … I wanted to spend more time with my family. A year off was my birthday present to myself. I didn’t actually act or write. I was just a mum. I taught drama at my daughter’s school, cooked meals and had fun. I highly recommend others to do the same if they can afford it. … Sometimes in life you’ll have some things, at other times you will have other things. You don’t need it all at once, it’s not good for you. Motherhood is a full-time job. The only way I could have continued working would have been by delegating the running of the home to other people. I never wanted to do this as I find motherhood profoundly enjoyable.”

Because a celebrity hasn’t weighed in on working moms in, oh, a couple of days, here is Emma Thompson in the UK’s Daily Mail on her decision to take a year off from acting to stay at home with her 14-year-old daughter, Gaia, who is pictured. (Thompson also has a 26-year-old adopted son, Tindyebwa.) Recently, millionaire-with-nannies Gwyneth Paltrow complained that working as an actress is harder for her than for moms on a 9-to-5 schedule. Angelina Jolie responded that she has “much more support than most people” and “women in my position … shouldn’t complain.”  Sort of in the middle of both points of view, Thompson explained to the Daily Mail how she just didn’t feel like she could juggle parenthood and work without a lot of help, which made her feel like she was missing out. The only way not to miss out was to put work on hold for a year. Keep reading »

The Soapbox: 3 Things Not To Say To A Woman Who’s Going Back To Work After Having A Kid

After almost two years at home with my son, I’m going back to work. As I’ve told people the news — family, friends, other moms, the checkout guy at the liquor store who sold me the celebratory champagne, the customer service rep from Citibank’s fraud department who called to check on my unusual activity – I’ve been taken aback by some of the responses. I assume the inappropriate reactions were simply people being dumbstruck by my good fortune, so I created a guide of what not to say when a woman tells you she’s going back to work.

Here they are, in a very particular order: Keep reading »

Mommie Dearest: What Happened To Child’s Play?

Show of hands: who else remembers roaming neighborhood streets unsupervised until dusk during your elementary school years?

I have crystal clear memories of being allowed to bike the three short blocks to my friend’s house (sans helmet!) after school for playdates —and not of the hyper-scheduled variety. We’d usually hang out in her backyard, poking sticks in holes or making forts with paint cloths we’d scavenge from her garage. Occasionally we’d run into the house for snacks, but if the weather was good, we’d most likely be found outside. Sometimes we’d make our way through the neighborhood, sneaking through backyards or meandering down sidewalks. We never got into any real trouble, and neither of us ever got seriously hurt beyond a skinned knee or two.

I’ve written before about how the childhood of my youth seems rather far removed from the one my son and his friends have. A combination of helicopter parenting, a lawsuit-happy society, and our growing withdrawal from a true neighborhood mentality seems to be fueling the more boxed-in and rigid rule-oriented childhoods we’re seeing. Keep reading »

True Story: I Want A Baby In My 20s

True Story: I Want A Baby In My 20s

They say that your life completely changes when you have a baby. That this overwhelming sense of love makes you forget all of the sleepless nights and dirty diapers, the temper tantrums and crayon marks on the freshly-painted walls. Many new mothers declare that this is what they were meant to do: bring another life into this world. I suppose this is how I feel, too — except that I’m not a mom yet.

Ever since I was a little girl, I’ve always known that I wanted to be a mother.  I used to create elaborate scenarios with my dolls as my “babies” where I was their doting mother. When I was around 14, I began babysitting for one of the local church’s childcare centers a few Sundays a month; I’d spend a couple of hours watching after babies and toddlers while their parents attended services. I bounced smiling babies on my knees, fed them bottles as they looked up at me with their big eyes, and patted their backs and sang to them as they cried. In college I made extra money by nannying for a family during the summer. I’d travel with them and their three small children, taking care of them practically 24/7. At night I was regularly woken up because of the two-year-old’s nightmares. My alarm clock was the baby wailing for his first morning bottle. But even though they weren’t my kids, I felt that emotional tug deep inside my chest. Children make me feel a peaceful happiness — like you’re living in a world where everything is pure and beautiful. Keep reading »

The Soapbox: Your Arguments Against Our Permanent Birth Control Are B.S.

My Husband's Vasectomy
Why Andrea's husband is getting a vasectomy. Read More »
BC A Human Right
united nations
Access to contraception is a human right, the United Nations declared. Read More »
On Birth Control
This woman uses birth control for medical reasons. Read More »

This essay was published with permission from Gender-Focus.

My spouse and I are seeking permanent birth control, and the entire process has been difficult. At this point, we are sick to death of unsolicited advice on the subject (Pro-tip: If someone you don’t know says they’re not judging you, they are judging you.) Everyone’s heart is in the right place, I can only assume. People think they are telling us new information that will keep us from making what they perceive to be a mistake. I get that they’re trying to help. But we continually find ourselves defending this very personal decision to total strangers. So to keep myself from screaming, I’m going to outline why the condescension disguised as concern is totally unfounded. Trust us. We’ve thought it through. Keep reading »

True Story: What You Don’t Know — But Should — About Single Mothers

Single Mom Speaks
Jennifer has been a single mom and Rick Santorum can kiss her ass. Read More »
Ann Hates Single Moms
Ann Coulter photo
Ann Coulter trashed single mothers on the "Today" show. Read More »
Single Mom Hallmark Card
Hallmark made a card for black single moms on Father's Day. Read More »

I’m going to propose something that may seem radical, given the hysteria that single motherhood seems to conjure in American society. The typical single mother? She doesn’t exist.

As a solo-parenting mother (which is different than a single parent — this is a nuanced “issue” my friends!), I’ve searched high and low to find out if a significant portion of single moms are representative of the stereotype that politicians, moralizing religious groups, and census statistics tell me are single (puns!) handedly causing a rise in childhood poverty. All I’ve managed to find is a group of people as diverse as our married counterparts. Keep reading »

LeAnn Rimes Hates The Word “Stepmom”

LeAnn Rimes
Yes To Stepmom
Why I very much like the idea of being a stepmom. Read More »

“Step … Stepmother, Stepfather, Stepchildren—the word ‘step’ can take on such a negative connotation to so many in our society. A family is a family. In my eyes, there’s no ‘step’ about it … It’s not easy being a stepparent, taking on a mother or father role in your new blended family and household. It can be incredibly intimidating … One thing that I know is, I will never replace their mother. I would never try. I will however love them with all I have and do everything in my power to help raise them in a loving, safe and proper environment … These two little boys came into my life for a reason and I think I came into theirs for a reason, too.”

LeAnn Rimes writes on her blog her assorted thoughts on being a stepmom to Eddie Cibrian’s two sons. Personally, I think her attitude on this is pretty great. What do you think? [via Huffington Post]

Barack Obama On Being A Dad

“I grew up without a father around. I have certain memories of him taking me to my first jazz concert and giving me my first basketball as a Christmas present. But he left when I was two years old. And even though my sister and I were lucky enough to be raised by a wonderful mother and caring grandparents, I always felt his absence and wondered what it would have been like if he had been a greater presence in my life. I still do. It is perhaps for this reason that fatherhood is so important to me, and why I’ve tried so hard to be there for my own children.”

Barack Obama shares his thoughts on being a dad in an essay in the latest issue of People, just in time for Father’s Day. Man, this is one adorable family. Keep reading »

Health Care Reform Might Require Coverage Of Birth Control

For the past three years, I have not taken any birth control pills and instead solely relied on condoms for contraception. These past few years, I have been a full-time freelancer without health insurance and I have prioritized paying for my anti-depressant prescription — anywhere from $100 to $120 bucks a month, depending on the pharmacy — over BC.

But if the Obama administration gets its way after a thorough review from health experts, the costs of contraceptives and other family planning services will be covered by insurers under health care reform. Contraceptives would be considered “preventative services” because they prevent unwanted pregnancies and a host of other health issues that come along with the stork’s surprises. Wouldn’t that be the jam?

Don’t get too excited yet, though: some “family” organizations are already whining that pregnancy is “not a disease” and birth control should not be considered a preventative service. Keep reading »

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