Forget about candy-colored bra and panty sets from Target; there’s ickier underwear for little girls afoot. It’s lingerie, to be exact, although the French line Jours Aprés Lunes calls it “loungerie,” because it is for lounging around instead of, uh, looking sexy prior to f**king . Why, praytell, would girls ages four through 12 want to wear lingerie? To look like mommy, of course. This shouldn’t be a surprise, seeing as little girls are painting their nails, and getting facials and spray tans just like “big girls” these days. Companies will introduce “new” adult products to little girls any way they can as a way to make more money. Keep reading »
And now a pubic service announcement from everybody’s favorite bra bitch, Brianna! Happy Friday from Pantyland! Mine started in a bunch after reading a tweet that contained my two favorite things: Rob Kardashian and underwear. Even though he looks like an overgrown 10-year-old who’s allowed to drink beer, I have a soft spot in my, um, heart for the only Kardashian with a Y chromosome. And I needn’t even elaborate on my love for all things intimate. Mr. K, as he’s known in most of my fantasies, tweeted: “So u girls are only allowed to wear undies … good thing u can get them here” and the “here” led to Freshpair, where it’s National Underwear Day. Like, now. Today. But the cool part is that they’re “celebrating” by giving away 5,000 “fresh pairs” for free. Angels, I tell you. Angels. My squeals of glee, however, quickly turned to disgust when I read WHY they’re giving it away: A recent Freshpair poll told the sick tale that 73 percent of the American population wears old “expired” underwear that’s been ruined by stains, holes and more runs than your granny’s panty hose. I had heard enough.
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First of all, I need to know how Shreddies, the flatulence filtering underwear, work. Is there an air freshener inside the panties? Are they sound proof? I have so many questions. After I’ve demystified the logistics of Shreddies, I’d like to understand how that woman got into that pose otherwise known as the international body position for “I’m farting with confidence.” [The Clearly Dope] Keep reading »
The other day there was a little incident where I was informed at, oh, 4 p.m. that I’d been walking around all day wearing hot pink boy shorts underneath a see-through dress. Ruh roh. I hustled over to the nearest Victoria’s Secret to deal with this situation. There I found a bunch of cute cotton pairs on one of their sale tables, so I scooped ‘em up. (Us ladies are constantly replenishing our panties-supply anyway, right?) Back in the office I slipped on a pair to salvage my reputation as completely oblivious/the office tramp. But it wasn’t until I was ripping those tiny pink VS tags off my new pairs of “cheekies” and tossing them in my underwear drawer that I thought to myself, I guess some people wash these first? I’ve never been a person who washes anything before wearing it, especially since I have a habit of dashing into Forever 21 or H&M the same day I’m going someplace and buying an outfit for right then. I realize, though, this is a thing people do. Sweaty, gross people try on clothes in stores or just fondle them with their Cheez Doodle dust-ed fingers. As totally neurotic as I am about other germ situations — like washing my hands any time I touch anything inside a fridge — I will wear panties that have been sitting on a display table in a VS for God knows how long and being touched by God knows who. Am I totally gross? Or do other people do this too? Keep reading »
It’s easy to get into an underwear rut, especially since cotton briefs are so comfortable. But every woman needs pretty lingerie in her life for the moments when she wants to feel special and throw practicality to the wind. Here’s the lingerie we’d like to wear around the boudoir.
A New York woman, accused of not wearing panties on a JetBlue flight, is suing the airline for assault, battery, and emotional distress. Twenty-seven-year-old financial consultant Malinda Knowles (pictured left), claims that a JetBlue supervisor requested to see her panties — or lack thereof — on a flight to Florida. “I didn’t want to show him anything. He wanted me to basically show him my crotch. I was completely humiliated. It was vulgar. It was macho. It was rude,” she said of the incident. She refused to prove she was wearing bottoms, which incidentally, she was. She was escorted off the plane and made to show the denim short shorts that were hidden underneath the her baggy t-shirt. After proving that she was acceptably pantsless as is the fashion these days, the supervisor would not allow her back on board saying that the captain refused to fly her. [NY Daily News]
I understand the airline has a dress code to abide by, but this sounds inappropriate and way out of line. What do you think? Does she have a case here? Share your thoughts in the comments. Keep reading »