The other day, I was explaining to my aunt and grandmother why I’d never buy a white bra and prefer to purchase mostly black underwear. A white bra is noticeable under both white and black tops because of my skin tone, so I’ve learned the hard way that black bras are my friends, and the same goes for black panties. Why don’t I buy nude underwear, you might ask? Well, nude typically refers to one flesh tone that usually doesn’t come close to matching my skin — or most women’s for that matter. That’s why I was so excited to hear about MySkins, a line of lingerie available in 20 colors meant to match a variety of skin tones. Picking your nude is easy. All you have to do is either print a MySkins Skin Tone Color Card (or send away for one by mail), pick the best match, then choose between three bra and panty styles. Now you’ll get noticed for your outfit and not your visible underwear. [MySkins] Keep reading »
“Panties is a wonderful word. When did you stop saying ‘panties’? It’s sexy. It’s girlie. It’s naughty. Say it more.”
– Christina Hendricks, who plays “Mad Men” goddess Joan Holloway, has some advice for men in Esquire‘s May issue [Esquire]
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We’d love to give our sad drawer full of worn-out granny panties a designer makeover, but that would be fairly expensive. Thank God for online outlet stores, where we can find gorgeous, silk floral briefs that originally cost $130 at a fraction of the price. These aren’t just pretty and comfy-looking; no one would kick them out of bed, that’s for sure.
The only good reason I can come up with for GPS panties is if they had a little pocket where you could store your little baggie of diamonds or other valuables. That way, if you left the panties somewhere and needed to find them again, the GPS would be able to help. But that is not the reason Panchira Corp. created Forget-Me-Not Panties! No, their reasons are far more stalker-y. Their motto is “protect her privates,” and the panties are for dudes to give as gifts to the women in their lives — when they suspect they could be cheating or coming home late at night. The GPS transmits the info to a cell phone and can even measure heart rate and temperature levels. That way these freaky, suspicious dudes can know when their girlfriends are hot and horny. If all that’s not creepy enough, check out the two testimonials on the site, after the jump. Keep reading »
Most heartthrobs get panties thrown at them. Robert Pattinson just gets panties. Hey, if your tampon leaks, Panties Pattinson can have actual blood dribbling down his chin! [Robert Pattinson Life] Keep reading »
What would your panties (eww
, hate that word) do if they had the day off from the constraints of being the most over-worked and under-appreciated undergarments? Perhaps they would take flight as they do in this Japanese cartoon, “Sora no Otoshimono.” Does anyone know what that means in Japanese? All of these pairs of underwear flapping in the breeze inspired a guy to actually create a real-life pair of flying schoolgirl panties. OK, that’s just slightly creepy. Watch them take to the sky after the jump. [BuzzFeed
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It was a total misunderstanding that one time I bought a woman I was dating sexy lingerie, the slinky, lacy kind that looked like it was made out of the doilies that decorated my grandmother’s beloved sofa. She thought I was disingenuously buying her a gift that was really a gift for me. I protested, of course, because it was never my idea to veer into Victoria Secret’s during one of our weekend shopping excursions that were theoretically about her training me to be, if not fashion forward, then at least fashion neutral. A happy compromise, considering I, apparently, was clinging to late-’90s fashion like a koala bear to the last eucalyptus tree on Earth. But, in fact, these sprees were about her dragging me by the throat to store after store.
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I am a big fan of “alone time” and “space,” which is one of the many reasons I will not be buying a pair of Fundies underwear anytime soon. Some things in life were indeed built for two: See-saws, cats cradle, thumb war, patty cake, etc. Underwear, not so much. Perhaps I am just a square or closed-minded, but I am an only child and I was never good at sharing. From a style point of view, Fundies are not horrific. Boring, yes, but I am not going to avert my eyes in disgust. That being said, I don’t think Fundies were created or are bought for style reasons. Oh yes, this product is meant to live in kinky-ville. Not that Fundies look particularly sexy-time to me, but maybe that’s just because I am imagining the logistical difficulties of two people trying to get into these. I doubt the packaging says this, but it should contain a warning for the uncoordinated. All joking aside, I recommend buying these. Not only are they dirt cheap, but it’s always good to have a gag gift or two around the house. I also feel like promoting this classic if only because it has been around for decades and has had the same packaging for over 20 years. To survive so long in the ever changing fashion world, that earns my respect. [$9.99, Fundies, ShopInPrivate.com} Keep reading »
This is one of those head-scratcher products I’m not sure who would want to buy. This Souffrez Pour Moi underwear is made with “artfully placed seams, beads, and textured fabric to create intimate, temporary patterns in the skin.” I don’t know about you, but if I ever discovered an “intimate, temporary pattern” on my skin, I’d make an appointment with my doctor and be tempted to warn any previous sex partners of the new development. The underwear isn’t meant to just be worn, though, oh, no — it’s supposed to provoke thought, too, on “how beauty and suffering are subtly intertwined.” Call me crazy, but I don’t think there’s anything subtle — or beautiful, for that matter — about bejeweled panties. If the underwear saves some women from getting lower back tattoos, though, I’ll give it my blessing. [Generate via Random Good Stuff] Keep reading »