In Taiwan, Taun Tuan and Yuan Yuan, two giant pandas who live at the Tapei Zoo, no longer seem to be on the same page in the bedroom. Hey, dry spells happen to the best of us, right? But this lack of panda action is particularly distressing because it’s almost mating season and the pressure to produce cubs is on. So, what to do to get these two back in the mood? The zookeepers are seeking advice from therapists. The verdict? Tuan Tuan and Yuan Yuan may be sick of each other. Doctors are suggesting that the couple spend some time apart, evaluate the relationship, and get back to together for mating season. Hopefully, at that point they will be so lonely (or horny) that they will be doing it like rabbits—who, incidentally, never seem to go through dry spells. If that doesn’t work, I’m thinking they should see other pandas, consider a polypanderous lifestyle, or check out some panda porn. Or perhaps everyone should just stop pressuring them to produce offspring? I know they are endangered and all, but maybe they need to work on their relationship before they bring a cub into the picture. [Newser]

Sure, all anyone is talking about these days relating to Washington, D.C., is the inauguration, but there are other things going on in our nation’s capital. Like giant pandas trying to make babies. Mei Xiang and Tian Tian, two giant panda’s at the National Zoo, tried to mate throughout the day last Thursday without success. “Because competent mating did not occur,” a statement from the zoo said, vets had to insert some of Tian Tian’s semen into Mei Xiang’s uterus. You might be thinking that these kids just need a few more days of love-making, but, unfortunately, scientists believe giant pants are able to conceive only one or two days a year. And while the couple have successfully given birth to one baby panda, in 2005, they weren’t so lucky in 2002, 2003, 2004, 2007, and 2008. We’ll know in 90 to 185 days whether Mei Xiang is going to give birth. [Washington Post]

Mary-Kate seems to be promoting safe sex with a ring that resembles a condom. [The Sun, U.K.]

A cat has adopted a red panda cub whose mother abandoned him. Animals are so cute. [BBC]

Tom Arnold will host a second season of My Big Redneck Wedding on CMT starting this October. How did I miss the first season? [eMediaWorld]

Pandas are a bit shy when it comes to sex, and that’s not a good thing since the species is endangered. No sex=no pandas. It’s just that young, inexperienced pandas don’t really know what to do, and all pandas have low sexual desire. To help counter this, handlers at the Chengdu Research Base of Giant Panda Breeding are teaching male pandas a dance-like routine that involves hip- and pelvic-strengthening moves to boost the pandas’ stamina. They’re also making young pandas watch more experienced pandas’ love-making in hopes that they’ll pick up some moves. [CNN]