Have you ever seen the Stanley Kubrick movie “Eyes Wide Shut,” starring then-married couple Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman? If so, remember the scene where Cruise’s character goes to that weird mansion and there’s all those masked people having sex and it’s super creepy? Well, that happened for realz in Somerset, England this week, when hundreds of rich people got together for a costume party and it descended into an orgiastic good time.

In case you haven’t noticed, the stock market took a nosedive this week. The rest of us are left worried about investments, bank stability, and mortgages. But what about the men of Wall Street, who are getting screwed over by their employers: How are they looking to handle this mess? They’re looking to get screwed on Craigslist. Instead of looking for their next jobs, they’re trolling for the hand and blow kind of jobs online. Who can blame them? Life’s too short not to take a half-naked photo of yourself and boast about your Ivy league education on a free internet message board. Some guys are looking to wine and dine a new girlfriend, and some guys are looking to host orgies with posts titled: “Was Laid Off from Lehman Brothers—Sex Party Time!”