At the age of three, I already didn’t want to be a girl. I saw from watching my mom what it was like to be a grown-up girl and it didn’t look good. Here are the few memories from childhood that I hadn’t managed to suppress:
We came home once to find our apartment ransacked by burglars. I was forced to drink powdered milk everyday, which I hated. My dad chasing my mom with a big knife into the kitchen. My brother and I, who were kneeling facing the wall as punishment for who-knows-what, turned and watched them run by. Screaming. My dad coming in the bathroom interrupting me and my brother taking a shower together. He came in to punish my brother, hitting him on the butt. My brother remembers us hiding under the dining table while chairs were being thrown around. Apparently my dad used to bring women home, even when my mom was home.
Needless to say I was a sad little kid. By the time I escaped to the U.S. at age six I told myself my life starts now and never to look back. Keep reading »
Sports photographers are in heaven during the Olympics, having the opportunity to capture athletes at the peak of their careers — and, if we didn’t know better, the peak of orgasm. If these aren’t the faces of a big finish, then I don’t know what is! It’s photo ops like these that have us wondering: orgasm or Olympic medal?
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The way a woman moves is very telling. A carefully placed hand on your lap means she’s open to getting closer, but if she’s always putting an object between you (a table, a subway pole, another man), it’s time to back off. But according to a new study, you can infer a lot more than her interest level based on her walk.
Researchers at the Universite Catholique de Louvain discovered that a woman’s sexual history — specifically, if she regularly orgasms during intercourse — can be detected in her stride. The study involved two groups of women: those who had a sexual history of orgasms and those who did not. These women were then videotaped walking, and the videos were evaluated by a group of sexologists. (Jealous of their daytime job? We are.) Read more …
Think back to when your parents first told you, as you uncomfortably sat across from them on the couch with sweaty palms, about the birds and the bees. Your mom told you a sweet little tale about how a sperm meets an egg, the egg is fertilized, a baby grows in her stomach, and in nine months, it is miraculously born. Did she skip the part about, “By the way, a man can have an orgasm without ejaculating, and he can ejaculate without having an orgasm?” I thought so.
While defining the female orgasm is often met with consternation, most of us see the male orgasm as pretty straight forward. But it isn’t always. Contrary to popular belief, it’s not the same process when men orgasm and when they ejaculate.
Let’s define the big O so we are all on the same page.
An orgasm is the peak in sexual excitement during the sexual response cycle, characterized by a release in sexual tension, often immense pleasure, and muscle contractions in the genital region. Orgasm can also come along with increased heart rate, increased blood pressure, increased respiration, and possible spasms in the extremities. The degree of an orgasm can vary due to state of mind, physical factors, and in all honesty, randomness. Keep reading »
There was nothing wrong with her. She was not to blame. She was the apotheosis of lust, comprising every element of cisgendered sex from the grrrl-next-door to the bust-down. I wanted her. I needed her. It’s just that this time — this one time — I couldn’t orgasm. Yes, I loved sex, and yes, I loved her, but my body wasn’t cooperating. It’s just wasn’t going to happen that night. It had nothing to do with how I felt about her. She had no reason to feel inadequate.
I repeated the sentiments above to her for two hours. I did it while naked, sweaty, and lying next to her existential crisis. Young and dumb, I believed honesty was the easiest policy. I underestimated the alacrity with which my partner would adopt my malfunction as her own. To her, a man’s orgasm was a simple machine. To not successfully “operate” such a thing felt like the cruelest sleight to her femininity. Obviously, this was not the truth. Unfortunately, the truth rarely has a place with young lovers. I vowed to never repeat such an ordeal. But to keep that promise, I knew sometimes I’d have to fake it. Here’s what I did… Keep reading »
According to a new study published in the Journal of Sex Research, 28 percent of male college students admitted to faking orgasms during intercourse, oral sex and manual stimulation. The reasons guys pretended to orgasm were similar to those cited by the females — they wanted sex to be over, they wanted to please their partner, they felt pressure to perform. Blah, blah, blah. Men are sensitive and have insecurities, too. Obviously. I totally get why men would fake it from time to time. But how? What happens when a man has an orgasm is pretty specific, so I’m wondering how dudes are getting away with faking it 28 percent of the time? How do their partners not notice? Can they please do a study on that? Or can some guy who fakes it divulge his secrets by emailing me, oh, right now? [Blog Her]