Think back to when your parents first told you, as you uncomfortably sat across from them on the couch with sweaty palms, about the birds and the bees. Your mom told you a sweet little tale about how a sperm meets an egg, the egg is fertilized, a baby grows in her stomach, and in nine months, it is miraculously born. Did she skip the part about, “By the way, a man can have an orgasm without ejaculating, and he can ejaculate without having an orgasm?” I thought so.
While defining the female orgasm is often met with consternation, most of us see the male orgasm as pretty straight forward. But it isn’t always. Contrary to popular belief, it’s not the same process when men orgasm and when they ejaculate.
Let’s define the big O so we are all on the same page.
An orgasm is the peak in sexual excitement during the sexual response cycle, characterized by a release in sexual tension, often immense pleasure, and muscle contractions in the genital region. Orgasm can also come along with increased heart rate, increased blood pressure, increased respiration, and possible spasms in the extremities. The degree of an orgasm can vary due to state of mind, physical factors, and in all honesty, randomness. Keep reading »
There was nothing wrong with her. She was not to blame. She was the apotheosis of lust, comprising every element of cisgendered sex from the grrrl-next-door to the bust-down. I wanted her. I needed her. It’s just that this time — this one time — I couldn’t orgasm. Yes, I loved sex, and yes, I loved her, but my body wasn’t cooperating. It’s just wasn’t going to happen that night. It had nothing to do with how I felt about her. She had no reason to feel inadequate.
I repeated the sentiments above to her for two hours. I did it while naked, sweaty, and lying next to her existential crisis. Young and dumb, I believed honesty was the easiest policy. I underestimated the alacrity with which my partner would adopt my malfunction as her own. To her, a man’s orgasm was a simple machine. To not successfully “operate” such a thing felt like the cruelest sleight to her femininity. Obviously, this was not the truth. Unfortunately, the truth rarely has a place with young lovers. I vowed to never repeat such an ordeal. But to keep that promise, I knew sometimes I’d have to fake it. Here’s what I did… Keep reading »
According to a new study published in the Journal of Sex Research, 28 percent of male college students admitted to faking orgasms during intercourse, oral sex and manual stimulation. The reasons guys pretended to orgasm were similar to those cited by the females — they wanted sex to be over, they wanted to please their partner, they felt pressure to perform. Blah, blah, blah. Men are sensitive and have insecurities, too. Obviously. I totally get why men would fake it from time to time. But how? What happens when a man has an orgasm is pretty specific, so I’m wondering how dudes are getting away with faking it 28 percent of the time? How do their partners not notice? Can they please do a study on that? Or can some guy who fakes it divulge his secrets by emailing me, oh, right now? [Blog Her]
OK, guys, think your wife or girlfriend isn’t faking it? Or that faking only happens in other people’s bedrooms? Think again. According to the recently published National Survey of Sexual Health and Behavior, 85% of men said that their partner had experienced an orgasm during their most recent sexual event, while only 64% of women reported actually having had an orgasm. The implication: Lots of women are faking it — and getting away with it. Read more…
I am about to share some very personal information with my fellow Frisky ladies: I had my first orgasm in a playground. No, it wasn’t some fantastic moment of bliss shared with a sexy or dashing incredible hunk while hiding away in a plastic tunnel or something. It was simply a couple of seconds of ecstasy, followed by momentary confusion after climbing and sliding down one of those metal poles usually positioned next to the swing set or slide. I was pretty young, so I didn’t really think much of it or contemplate the complexity of my experience, but research can finally explain what happened to me that faithful, play-filled day. Supposedly, there is such a thing called “coregasms” (because of its association with the abdominal muscles) and thousands of women claim to have experienced them while biking/spinning, weight lifting and, as no surprise to me, climbing poles or ropes! This find has researchers wondering, could exercise be the key to female orgasm? I definitely think so. Check out the article for yourself and tell me what you think. [Science Blog]
We love this study in female masturbation orgasms. Because, seriously, each one is totally different depending on your mood and and method. But orgasms can be divided into general categories. Click through to see diagrams of the different types of masturbatory orgasms. Starting with the standard “Good Orgasm”, which never, ever gets old. [Tempest Paige]
Gee G-Spot, you sure know how to disappoint a girl. First you exclaim your existence to the world. Then you hide as my fellow ladies are poked and prodded in search of you. One day you promise earth-shattering orgasms, the next you disappear without a trace. A recent review of over 100 studies into your existence has come to the conclusion that there is no proof of it. That you don’t exist. But I don’t think this is the last we’ll hear about you, g-spot. You’ll lay low awhile and then pop back up again, taunting us. Why do you continue to play these games with our emotions? Do you find it humorous that millions of us ladies spend days and nights pondering where you are? Keep reading »
Good morning! Let’s get this week off to a pleasurable start, shall we? Here’s an awesome supercut of Meg Ryan’s fake orgasm scene in “When Harry Met Sally” spliced with other sighs, moans, oohs and ahhs from movies. It is vaguely NSFW so use headphones. [via Vimeo]
I think I had a g-spot orgasm. Maybe. I’m not really sure. Even as I thought I might be having one, I questioned its existence.
Somewhere along the way I got the message that this was how I should be getting off. Whether it was part of the idea that penetration is the ultimate sex act or a side effect of sex positive feminism or one of Cosmo’s unrealistic sex tips — the notion that my body should be achieving g-spot orgasm on the regular was embedded in my brain. Keep reading »
“[W]hat is sexual in a high heel is the arch of the foot, because it is exactly the position of a woman’s foot when she orgasm. … So putting your foot in a heel, you are putting yourself in a possibly orgasmic situation.”
— Christian Louboutin is bats**t crazy if he thinks this is true. I have lots of heels and they only thing they give me are blisters. [Fashionista]