A new study shows that for women, desire follows – not precedes – sexual arousal. Rosemary Bason of the University of British Columbia explains that, “for many women, desire is not the cause of lovemaking, but rather, its result.” Women often begin sexual experiences feeling sexually neutral, she says, but by the end of the sex sesh, they often feel more aroused than they had before they started fooling around.
Perhaps this is because most women don’t orgasm during intercourse. So, when the man is “satisfied” post-orgasm, the woman probably never reached her climax, and is, well, still wanting to! Obviously.

Smart women have the best sex. Duh.

After interviewing over 2,000 sets of adult women twins, who have identical everythings, Professor Tim Spector, a researcher at King’s College in London, found that if a lady isn’t afraid to express herself and picks up on what other people are expressing, she’s an orgasmic machine who can satisfy her partner like none other. Shockingly enough, being a “touchy-feely” kind of gal isn’t as bad as it sounds. Sure, it might cause an awkward moment every now and again—I’m still sorry I hugged my ex-boss at the company Christmas party—but the good part of expressing your emotions means more feelings in your tunnel of love. Spector is convinced that “these findings show that emotional intelligence is an advantage in many aspects of your life, including the bedroom.” The researchers hope to use their evidence to help the nearly 40 percent of women who say they can’t get off.

So, next time someone tells you to stop being so emotional, tell them to stop trying to ruin your sex life. Feel free to pop in “The Notebook” DVD, open a tub of Ben ‘n’ Jerry’s, and let those tear ducts drip. Feelings are the new foreplay. [Daily Mail]

From what could very well be pulled from the April Fool’s Day file comes word that sex may treat hay fever better than decongestants do — for guys at least. Sina Zarrintan, a neurologist from the Tabriz Medical University in Iran, is proposing that a “well-timed ejaculation,” either from masturbation or sex with a partner, can soothe “swollen nasal blood vessels, freeing the airway for normal breathing.” Sounds sexy, no? Apparently, the nose and the genitals are both connected to the same part of the sympathetic nervous system, which controls certain reflexes. I’m not sure about you, but if I guy used his allergies as an excuse to screw, I’m not so sure my sympathetic reflex would be to jump on that. 

Zarrintan hasn’t yet performed clinical trials to test the hypothesis, but I’m pretty sure he won’t have trouble finding volunteers. [via New Scientist]

More babies are made when the people involved in the process have orgasms. When men are fully stimulated, they ejaculate up to 50 percent more than during just any ole intercourse, and an extra five minutes of going at it before he gets off can produce even more sperm. For women, scientists believe that having orgasms can help them suck up the sperm and send it on its way into the uterus. And I haven’t even told you about the pig research yet! Danish researchers have found that sows (female pigs) that were sexually stimulated by farmers during artificial insemination had a 6 percent increase on their fertility. Don’t worry, that can’t be nearly as dirty as it sounds because the Danish government gives farmers instructions on how to stimulate their pigs. Moral of the story: If you’re lucky enough to be having really good sex that’s chock full of orgasms, don’t get careless with your birth control. [The Observer]

A recent study debunked the idea that women need foreplay in order to achieve an orgasm with a partner. Researchers Petr Weiss and Stuart Brody asked 2,360 Czech women how often they orgasmed with a partner, and then how much time, on average, they spent on foreplay and the average amount time they spent actually having intercourse. Foreplay lasted an average of 15.4 minutes, whereas intercourse lasted an average of 16.2 minutes. The women who reported having intercourse for a longer period of time orgasmed more often than those that had intercourse for shorter periods of time.

A new study reveals that when it comes to a woman’s pleasure during sex, size does indeed matter, but not in the way you may think. Apparently, men with large incomes give women more orgasms than men with smaller ones. The Chinese Health and Family Life Survey interviewed 5,000 Chinese people about their personal lives, including questions about their sex lives, income and other factors. Of the 1,534 women surveyed with male partners, 121 reported always having orgasms during sex, while 408 more had them “often”. Another 762 “sometimes” came while 243 had them rarely or never. These figures are similar to those for western countries. While there were several factors responsible for these variances, money was attributed as the main factor. Study author, Dr Thomas Pollet, said: “Increasing partner income had a highly positive effect on women’s self-reported frequency of orgasm. More desirable mates cause women to experience more orgasms.” Dr. Pollet believes this phenomenon “is an ‘evolutionary adaptation’ that is hard-wired into women, driving them to select men on the basis of their perceived quality.” So basically, he thinks women are biologically predisposed to be gold-diggers. Surely there are other reasons women may have orgasms more frequently with wealthy men. Perhaps men with larger incomes are more sexually confident; Maybe they have less anxiety about their flaws and, um, shortcomings, making them better lovers; Or, maybe, just maybe, this study is totally bogus. [Times Online]

A study published in The Journal of Sexual Medicine reports that sexually unsatisfied women who practiced mindfulness and yoga reported improved levels of arousal and desire, as well as better orgasms. Why not try following along with a yoga podcast today? It could have you saying “om” all night long. [LiveScience]

It’s an exciting week! We’ve got not one but two new additions to the “Guys On Our IM” roster (including one of our boys at AskMen.com), each desperate to wow your lady skulls with their revelations on the male psyche, sex drive, and beating heart. This week, I broke ‘em in hard, asking them to confess how they really feel when they aren’t able to make a sexual partner climax. Depressed? Suicidal? Meh? Sadistically happy? Find out, after the jump!

Guys think they know oh so much about women and sex. “Women only like the missionary and never want to mix up positions!” “Every chick I’ve ever boned came like clockwork because I am just that good!” Puhlease. There are so many misconceptions about women and sex. But which is the biggest?

“You know that stuff they say about a woman being responsible for her own orgasms? That’s all true. And in my case, that makes me responsible for pretty damned good orgasms these days. Much better orgasms than when I was twenty-two. And I wouldn’t let a man control that. Not anymore. Now I’d invite him to participate. I’ll tell you this: I’ve learned my tricks. I know what I like. I do not wait around. I initiate. And I’m not all about frequency. I favor intensity. … There have been some men in my life who have been wickedly sexy and have taught me much about sexual pleasure. There are a few men I should thank, and others I need to forget. But I don’t regret. To hell with regret. I like what I am now. I like being a mother. I like my body better since I became a mother. I feel sexier as a result of becoming a mother.”—Halle Berry in Esquire

I don’t know about the people in this video, but I would seriously rather never orgasm again than be in practically a constant state of climax. I mean, how distracting.

Most women need clitoral stimulation to achieve an orgasm, but there are some of us that can climax with just vaginal stimulation. Now, we can all get lucky by barely touching our lady parts. The makers of “Slightest Touch” say their device can trigger an intense orgasm without touching the genital area.

Here’s how it works: Drink an electrolyte sports drink 20 minutes before using the device, then attach two electrode pads extending from the “Slightest Touch” to the inside of ankles and then turn on the device to start the stimulation. The device doesn’t actually cause an orgasm, instead, it stimulates the nerves sending gentle pulses up the woman’s leg for between 10 and 30 minutes leaving her on the verge of climax.

According to Belgian researchers, how you walk is related to how you orgasm.  They studied tapes of a controlled group of women walking on the street, where 50% percent of the group claimed they get an orgasm solely from stimulating their clitoris, while the other 50% can orgasm through intercourse without clitoral stimulation. The report is published with a lot of high-brow lingo, but basically, the “sexologists” associated a good strut, complete with sashaying hips, with the ability to orgasm with only penetration. Surprisingly enough, they were 81% accurate! Even still, these “experts” still weren’t able to pick out women who required clitoral stimulation….isn’t that the story of our lives. Something tells us this study is just a load of good guessing B.S. [Psych Central]

While Viagra is an invention that has helped grandpa’s around the country get it back up for their spouses, nurses, and right hands, it now may be able to help women too! A recent eight-week experiment, funded by pharmaceutical company Pfizer, followed 98 women who were having trouble orgasming due to antidepressant medication.  They were given Viagra and asked to have sex once a week with the pill’s aide.  Seventy-two percent of the girls gave the erectile dysfunction drug the thumbs up! Although it didn’t increase their libido, the ladies reported that it did help them climax. But the findings certainly have some critics—27% of the women in the control group who were given a placebo pill also reported satisfaction. However, despite shelling out cash for the study, Pfizer says it will not seek FDA approval for females to use Viagra, since it concluded in 2004 that there were no explicit benefits. If you’re still searching for a pick me up that’ll work with your anti-depressant, there’s a clitoral therapy device approved by the FDA already, and libido enhancing LibiGel is currently being tested. It looks like women will have plenty of options without having to pop pills like Bob Dole. [Orlando Sentinel]

After chatting with the guys on my IM yesterday about how often they bring a girl to orgasm, I started thinking about faking it. Most of them said they didn’t think women really faked with them and would prefer that they didn’t. So here’s a question for you:

According to our own Nookie Know-It-All as much as 75% of women cannot orgasms during intercourse, with 12% being unable to come, like, EVER. But it always amazes me that despite these statistics—which, I admit, do vary in number—men still seem to think they have no trouble getting ladies off in the sack. So, in honor of National Orgasm Month, I decided to poll the guys on my IM about how often they think they complete the deed and then was prepared to present them with the cold hard facts. But it turns out, they don’t really seem to be living in a dream world after all. Maybe they just feel so comfy with me (and The Frisky) that they don’t feel the need to pretend. Their responses, after the jump.

“What percentage of women have an orgasm during intercourse? The stats I’ve read really seem to vary, with some studies making it seem kind of rare. Is that true?” - Curious About Climaxes, Cleveland, OH

General statistics (which vary as much as your orgasms do) show a whopping 75% of women failing to reach orgasm during intercourse. 12% percent NEVER EVER achieve one, even through self-stimulation.
A lot of this has to do with knowing your body well enough to determine what turns you on and what doesn’t. I didn’t achieve my first orgasm until my mid-20’s, and didn’t find a partner I could have regular orgasms with until I was almost 30 (I’m 29 now, so you do the math).

“If I masturbate too much will I be unable to get off when a guy goes down on me?”—Solo Satisfier, Baltimore, MD

Unlike guys, the more a girl masturbates the more likely she is to have an orgasm during sex (intercourse or oral). Masturbating might actually help you achieve an orgasm FASTER. The more we know our bodies (and what movements turn us on), the more we’re able to translate that experience in the sack.