Show us a man who doesn’t want more blowjobs, and we will show you…a man we’ve never met. Guys, we are picking up all the hints (even the ones you think are super subtle). We know that if it were realistic, you would like us to blow you all day and night (well, for 4 hours and 19 minutes to be exact), and trust us, we’re probably obliging as often as we can. But if you find yourself chronically blowjob-less and aren’t sure why, well, we must be blunt: the problem’s not us, it’s you. There are many ways that guys sabotage their chances for a little oral action, many of which are easily fixable. Here are a few of them… Keep reading »
When it comes to tasteful topics of discussion (no pun intended), oral sex doesn’t always top the list. In fact, even the most sex-savvy women sometimes find themselves shying away from publicly discussing this polarizing activity. There are some girls who simply will not give (let’s say it all together now) blow jobs, and some guys who simply won’t date those girls. Likewise, you’ve probably found yourself in a position, quite literally, where you’re wondering why someone won’t put their mouth on your lady bits. Read more on College Candy…
The online dating scene is rough. Sure, it’s a great way to meet people, but we use the term “people” loosely, as some of the individuals we’ve come in contact with still seem to be in their primitive forms. Obviously, first impressions count … but not to these idiots.
Sender: 29, Male
Receiver: 26, Female
Tip: When the second message someone sends you (after you haven’t responded to the first message) is about how badly they want their tongue between your legs, you should reply by telling them how badly you want absolutely nothing between theirs, because assholes should not be allowed to procreate.
Did someone send you a creeptastic or WTF message on a dating site? Take a screenshot of the message/your interaction and send it to us at email@example.com. Include the info in the post above. (Don’t worry … if we choose to use it, it’ll be anonymous and we’ll make sure to guard all identifying information!)
A sex new app called Lick This allows users to engage in interactive exercises that supposedly train your tongue for pleasure. I know what you’re thinking: Great idea, but how is that possible without actually licking my iPhone screen? Answer: it’s not. You are meant to flick a light switch, move a zipper up and down, solve a maze, crank a handle and ring a doorbell with your tongue ON YOUR GERM-INFESTED SCREEN. And then you want to put that dirty mouth in some unlucky person’s pants? I think not. Although the app’s creators suggest that you wrap your phone in plastic before you get down to business, we know that people are about as likely to do that as they are to use a dental dam. Keep reading »
I love my boyfriend. And I love giving him blow jobs. What I do not love is the taste of spunk. No matter whose splooge it is, it tastes like a cross between sour juice, bitters, mold, and a dirty sock. Even Bobby Flay couldn’t make this milky concoction taste good. I’ve hypothesized women who say it taste good are either a) lying or b) have taste buds damaged by years of smoking. But I don’t smoke and like Abe Lincoln, I cannot tell a lie. I love a nice pearl necklace, but the taste of semen makes me gag. Can pineapple juice make splooge taste better? Read the results of our taste test on Your Tango…
We licked and sucked eight flavors of condoms — chocolate, strawberry, garlic, marijuana, cola, banana, vanilla and grape — so you don’t have to. No cunning linguist wants to take the V-day date to the bedroom, only to be stuck with a sub-par condom flavor profile. So which condom is most flavorful? Which color looked the weirdest stretched over a banana? Why does our boss now feel like “a slut?” Watch the video on Huffington Post to find out…