These days, I may be the queen of TMI, but I wasn’t always so comfortable talking about sex, let alone asking for what I wanted in bed. In the last few years, I’ve been a lot more openminded and in the process learned which kinky activities get me off — but asking for them? Sometimes I still get tongue-tied. And I know I’m not alone. Lots of guys have told me they’d like for their female partners to give them a little more direction in bed, while I know some women who have confessed to being shy about giving it. So, how can guys encourage their female partners to be vocal about their desires in a way that’s not pressuring? Let’s start with a few basic, often wanted but not always requested, sexytime activities…
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My first thought upon opening my new LELO Ora Oral Sex Simulator was “How the hell does this thing work?” My second thought was, “Who cares how it works? This is the prettiest sex toy I’ve ever seen.” It could honestly pass for something Kate Middleton would use, because it’s gold and fancy and doesn’t LOOK like a sex toy. It’s refined. The Queen would probably mistake it for, like, a new age baby monitor or something.
Anyway, I took the toy out of it’s box and inspected it for a bit. About five inches around, it looks like a lopsided disc with an off-center hole. On the inside is shiny silver brass (or something that feels like metal), and on the outside, a thin layer of silky smooth, royal blue silicone. One small area on the outer curve of the toy is flat, which allows the vibrator to rest upright if placed on that surface, AND is also where the magic happens. Fun fact: It’s also waterproof, but I have yet to try it in the tub. Keep reading »
As much as we’d all like to believe we’re smooth operators in the bedroom, sometimes shit happens that can prevent us from being our suavest selves during sex. (Seriously though, literal shit can happen if your partner pulls the unexpected finger-in-the-ass move.) Maybe you got a pube caught in your throat or he’s got a bad case of Gumby dick. You’re not alone. Despite our greatest efforts to pull off all of our romp sessions without a hitch, don’t feel bad: these accidental sex oopsies have undoubtedly happened to all of us. Keep reading »
This is a difficult letter to write. But it has to be said. I’ve been struggling with my feelings about you for a long time now. I wasn’t sure how to express it all clearly and carefully, without hurting you. No one ever wants to hear that they’re not the cat’s pajamas. Believe me, I understand. Keep reading »
I’ve lived in New York City for a little over 10 years. As any of the other writers for The Frisky can tell you (and have written about over and over), dating in this city isn’t as easy as a walk in Central Park. In a city of eight million people where the single women outnumber the single men by roughly 150,000, the stakes are high and the pickings slim. Having been out there floating in that sea for longer than I would have wished on most people, archenemies excluded, naturally I have found myself in sexual predicaments that, tragically, I probably won’t be forgetting anytime soon. Actually, there’s a very good chance I’ll never forget some of these scarring and haunting forays into the ridiculous. And because of this, I think the best way to deal is to share them with someone besides my therapist. Keep reading »
Show us a man who doesn’t want more blowjobs, and we will show you…a man we’ve never met. Guys, we are picking up all the hints (even the ones you think are super subtle). We know that if it were realistic, you would like us to blow you all day and night (well, for 4 hours and 19 minutes to be exact), and trust us, we’re probably obliging as often as we can. But if you find yourself chronically blowjob-less and aren’t sure why, well, we must be blunt: the problem’s not us, it’s you. There are many ways that guys sabotage their chances for a little oral action, many of which are easily fixable. Here are a few of them… Keep reading »