- Quit sucking on that clitoris so hard.
- Vaginas are like snowflakes. Ask your bitch what she wants, then do what she says.
- Make the alphabet with your tongue …
- … and when she grabs your hair like she’s going to pull it off, stick with that letter.
- Vaginas deserve respect.
- Every bitch’s flap is different. Learn your bitch’s particular flap.
- Plan your breathing like your swimming: stroke, stroke, breathe, stroke, stroke, breathe.
Yeah, what Key and Peele said. Fuck all the other sex ed in America. [YouTube]
When Dad told you to get a job, this isn’t the job he was talking about.
Two freshmen students at Etowah High School in Woodstock, Ga. are facing criminal charges after officials say they engaged in oral sex in the school cafeteria Thursday, CNN reported.
“A female student allegedly made a sexual offer to a male classmate during lunch,” school spokeswoman Barbara Jacoby told the network. “The male classmate later told administrators that he thought this offer was a joke, but when the female student began to act upon it, the male student said he stopped her.” Read more on Huffington Post…
Dear The Parents Of SlaneGirl,
I can’t tell you how many conversations I’ve had this week about your daughter. You know her as a baby girl you brought into the world 17 years ago. The Internet knows her as SlaneSlut or SlaneGirl. This week, her full name and photographs of her performing oral sex on two different men at an Eminem concert made their way around the world. They were posted on every social media site you can think of and shared repeatedly (with little regard to the fact your daughter is under 18 and the images technically constitute child pornography). The two young fellas she fellated have mostly enjoyed high fives from the universe. But your daughter? She’s been called a slut, a whore, a dumb bitch — every stinging slur in the book. She was hospitalized this week from from her reaction to all this negative attention.
When I’ve been thinking about your daughter, I’ve really been thinking about you — her parents. I’ve been thinking about what I would do or say if I were in your shoes, about you could possibly have to say to her about all this. Keep reading »
Biologists set out to discover the point, evolutionarily not orgasmically, of a man performing oral sex on a woman. Because to an evolutionary scientist, I guess everything must be connected to propagation of the species? I mean, as we all know, some of the best things in life have no purpose, like tanning on the beach. Aside from a tiny serotonin bump and a good dose of vitamin D, all it does is make you more susceptible to skin cancer. But that still doesn’t stop most people. And yes, I’m fantasizing heavily about being at the beach right now. Keep reading »
Intimacy is all about closeness, the emotional and physical “togetherness” of love. Intimacy does not come from a physical act, but rather from the attitude you bring to one another. A hug can be way more intimate than intercourse, depending on how present, vulnerable and authentic you and your lover can be together.
Many of us crave more intimacy, but the stress and distraction of everyday life gets in the way. Intimacy is often intense in the beginning of a relationship and then becomes more elusive, no matter how much you love one another. The good news is that intimacy can be something you actively create and practice together. To get your man on board, why not seduce him with some intensely intimate oral sex? He’ll love every minute of it and hopefully the intimacy will carry over into your life and future lovemaking. Here’s how to transform it into an incredibly intimate erotic event. Read more on Your Tango…
“…without wanting to get too specific, this particular cancer is caused by HPV [human papillomavirus], which actually comes about from cunnilingus. … But yeah, it’s a sexually transmitted disease that causes cancer. And if you have it, cunnilingus is also the best cure for it.”
– I swear, if this quote from Michael Douglas — who deserves props for being so honest about how he thinks he got throat cancer – results in more dudes refusing to lick puss, I will be really bummed. Oh, and Catherine Zeta-Jones? Congrats on being married to an avid cunnilingus aficionado. [Guardian UK] [Photo: Getty]
So I watched “Teen Mom” Farrah Abraham’s sex tape/porno/whatever with James Deen (yes, I’m part of the problem) and I, like others, couldn’t help but notice Farrah was having difficulty getting James completely erect via oral. That is … embarrassing, to say the least. It’s one thing to be blowing the flaccid mass of a guy who’s wasted or high or whatever because that’s out of your control. But when you can’t get a dude whose job it is to get hard on command excited … it’s a bit of a problem.
If you watched Farrah’s performance and didn’t even bat an eyelash upon seeing that James was only semi-hard, this post is for you. While there are guys out there who genuinely don’t care for oral, I think it’s a pretty safe assumption that most do. Luckily, giving enjoyable head to a guy is a fairly easy-ish endeavor. (Though, ladies with sensitive gag reflexes/jaw tension, I totally feel your pain). Every guy is different, but if you’re new to doing it or want a refresher, here are some general guidelines to experiment with (no scrunchies required). Read more on College Candy…
Columbia University’s blog, Bwog, makes it a tradition to ask graduating seniors if they’d rather give up cheese or oral sex. I don’t know why this is a question of interest, but it is. I chuckled as I read the headline, thinking to myself, Who in the world would choose cheese over oral sex?
Apparently, 42 percent of graduating seniors from 2006 to 2013 prefer cheese. An anonymous senior with the handle “Fromage 13″ did a breakdown of the archives of oral vs. cheese responses and found that the Columbia student body had a predominantly “fromage-centric attitude.” I laughed again. Pshaw, those silly kids must not be doing it right. Keep reading »
A recent study of fruit bats found cunnilingus to be a major part of their repertoire. While following a colony of 420 bats roosting in a fig tree over the course of 13 months, researchers witnessed 57 incidences of sex — both oral and intercourse. The female bats who received oral sex before intercourse were found to last longer during copulation. Imagine that. Oh, the power of foreplay.
“Initially, males groomed their penises to go erect before approaching females. When they gently touched females with their wings, females typically moved away, and males followed. When the females stopped moving, the males started licking the females’ vaginas,” reports Live Science.
I have to stop because this bat porn is getting way erotic. All those wild roostings in the fig tree are making me blush. Male bats have officially earned their stripes as the most giving dudes in the animal kingdom.
Click through for some more animals who are known to be orally inclined. [Live Science]