So I watched “Teen Mom” Farrah Abraham’s sex tape/porno/whatever with James Deen (yes, I’m part of the problem) and I, like others, couldn’t help but notice Farrah was having difficulty getting James completely erect via oral. That is … embarrassing, to say the least. It’s one thing to be blowing the flaccid mass of a guy who’s wasted or high or whatever because that’s out of your control. But when you can’t get a dude whose job it is to get hard on command excited … it’s a bit of a problem.
If you watched Farrah’s performance and didn’t even bat an eyelash upon seeing that James was only semi-hard, this post is for you. While there are guys out there who genuinely don’t care for oral, I think it’s a pretty safe assumption that most do. Luckily, giving enjoyable head to a guy is a fairly easy-ish endeavor. (Though, ladies with sensitive gag reflexes/jaw tension, I totally feel your pain). Every guy is different, but if you’re new to doing it or want a refresher, here are some general guidelines to experiment with (no scrunchies required). Read more on College Candy…
Columbia University’s blog, Bwog, makes it a tradition to ask graduating seniors if they’d rather give up cheese or oral sex. I don’t know why this is a question of interest, but it is. I chuckled as I read the headline, thinking to myself, Who in the world would choose cheese over oral sex?
Apparently, 42 percent of graduating seniors from 2006 to 2013 prefer cheese. An anonymous senior with the handle “Fromage 13″ did a breakdown of the archives of oral vs. cheese responses and found that the Columbia student body had a predominantly “fromage-centric attitude.” I laughed again. Pshaw, those silly kids must not be doing it right. Keep reading »
A recent study of fruit bats found cunnilingus to be a major part of their repertoire. While following a colony of 420 bats roosting in a fig tree over the course of 13 months, researchers witnessed 57 incidences of sex — both oral and intercourse. The female bats who received oral sex before intercourse were found to last longer during copulation. Imagine that. Oh, the power of foreplay.
“Initially, males groomed their penises to go erect before approaching females. When they gently touched females with their wings, females typically moved away, and males followed. When the females stopped moving, the males started licking the females’ vaginas,” reports Live Science.
I have to stop because this bat porn is getting way erotic. All those wild roostings in the fig tree are making me blush. Male bats have officially earned their stripes as the most giving dudes in the animal kingdom.
Click through for some more animals who are known to be orally inclined. [Live Science]
No one on earth is quite as pleased as a man who has just pleased a woman between the sheets. We love the care and attention you’ve paid to us for our own benefit, but we also love watching you bask in self-satisfaction. But as satisfied as you might be with yourself, sometimes we’re not quite as satisfied as you’d hoped: something relatively minor, but highly distracting, was a bit “off.”
Don’t be offended, darlings, but a few nips and tucks in your bedroom style might speed things along (in a good way)—leaving us more time for another go at it! Keep reading »
Men’s orgasms may never be as intense as the screaming, multiple orgasms that many women are capable of. But that doesn’t mean that they can’t be better than average or even earth-shattering, mind-blowing, toe-curling, etc.
Just like with women, there are psychological, emotional and physical things that contribute to the quality of a man’s orgasm. Every guy is, of course, different, but here are 6 tips that will up the intensity that don’t involve cough drops, donuts or or other bizarre gimmicks. Keep reading »
You think you’ve heard of every kind of crime there is and then a woman tries to assassinate her husband with her vagina. According to the UK’s Mirror, a Brazilian woman, whose name is being withheld, is accused of putting a toxic plant substance on her hoo-ha and asking her husband to give her oral sex. According to reports, his life was spared because he noticed a “strange smell” emanating from down there and took his wife to the hospital to get to the bottom of her unusual odor. The tests, of course, revealed that her vagina was poisonous. Is it possible to poison your vagina without poisoning yourself? I’m getting hung up on that. Details and logistics aside, WTF, world? [Mirror UK]
Helloooo, Florida! You’re back. And with important life lessons for us. What can we learn from 53-year-old teacher, Mary Maloney? That if you’re arrested for a hit-and-run, it’s a very bad idea to offer the police officer oral sex in return for your release. Yeah, that’s only going to make matters worse, along with that empty gallon jug of wine behind the driver’s seat. It’s not looking good for Mary Maloney. There is a time and place to offer a blowjob. This certainly was not it. [Huffington Post]
Click through for more tales of oral sex gone terribly, terribly, terribly wrong.
Can we all just agree, as a society, no oral sex on public transportation? Kthx. Two couples were filmed on a New York City subway giving/receiving blowjobs in a very NSFW video posted on World Star Uncut. It’s way too overacted to be real, in my opinion — or maybe I’m just not giving my blowjobs vigorously enough. Is this a spontaneous act of teenaged bad decision making? Porn actors filming a gonzo video? Does it matter? There could be no grosser setting than a 6 train car with the faint smell of urine and unforgiving flourescent lighting. BRB, off to buy my hand sanitizer in triplicate. [Gothamist]
Rookie Mag’s fabulous Ask A Grown Man video series gives us a peek into the male mind from the likes of Jon Hamm and Judd Apatow. NPR host Ira Glass is the latest grown man to dish out advice (he also happens to be the husband of Anaheed Alani, an editor for Rookie) … but not after first teaching us all how to make balloon animals! A balloon Snoopy, in fact. He also answers questions about whether guys think women with short hair are “feminine looking” and how to tell a man in a sexy way that you’ve never given him a blowjob. “I think I can speak for all men when I say there is no unsexy way to tell a man you want to give him a blowjob,” Ira explains. “Literally any words you choose are going to be the right words. Those are are incredibly welcome words of any man or boy of any age. You could write it in crayon in another language and then translate it word by word. You could write it in Braille and run his fingers across it. You could put the words in the reverse. You could say it Yoda-style, like, ‘Blowjob, want to have?” Yoda-style! Whoa. Let’s not get carried away, girls. It’s just a blowie. [Rookie Mag]