I sat on the couch straddling him, our chests pressed together and my hands pulling softly on his hair as we kissed. For the past half an hour, we’d been slowly unpeeling our many layers of clothing and we were down to just my pair of lacy underwear and his boxer briefs. We’d had a lovely third date—I adored that he called me “Ringlets,” just like Sawyer dubbed Kate “Freckles” on “Lost.” As the conversation veered into sexual territory a few times, it became more than obvious that, tonight, we were ready to seal the deal.
“Shall we take this into the other room,” he said, pointing towards his bedroom. We stood up and he grabbed my hand, leading me down the hall. I sat down on the side of his bed, and he stood before me. Good lord, he was hot. I began to take off his Calvin Kleins.
“Can I go down on you?” I asked, looking up at him. As soon as I said it, the question struck me as strange. Had I ever asked this before? Was this a question with more than one answer? After all, on our list of “27 Things Men Never Say,” the phrase “I’m not really into blow jobs” came in at number eight.
“No,” he said. Keep reading »
This French public service announcement is kind of like one of those eye trick images where you see either a vase or the outline of two faces. Is it trying to say that smoking is like giving a BJ to the tobacco industry? Or is the message that oral sex is as risky as smoking a ciggy? Well, Slate Double X has cleared it up with their handy-dandy French translation skills. Apparently, it’s the former—the text at the bottom reads, “Smoking is being tobacco’s slave,” and a spokesperson for the ad agency that made it explains, “The goal was simply to say ‘You are subjecting yourself to smoking.’ There is no analogy between sex and tobacco.” Huh? Also, I’m a little confused as to why, in the two male versions of the ad, the exec is wearing his suit jacket, while in the version with a teenage girl, he’s down to just his dress shirt? Or am I just reading too much into this now? [Double X] Keep reading »
You know, sometimes a gal reaches the end of her research, sits there for a moment and says to herself, “I don’t think I have enough information to fairly come to a conclusion.” That’s the way I felt after last week’s “hand jobs versus blow jobs” discussion. So, like a trooper, I went back out into the field and asked three more guys on my IM what they thought. You’re welcome. Keep reading »
It turns out that women aren’t the only ones who try to weasel their way out of a ticket. Nick Snider, who was Forbes’ 5th most successful male model in 2008, was arrested on Monday in Arkansas after drunkenly causing a domestic disturbance. Once in the patrol car (after he informed the arresting officers that he was “a very famous model”), Snider told one of the deputies, “If you stop I’ll suck your d**k and balls if you let me go.” As if this wasn’t bad enough, the Prada model continued to offer oral sex in exchange for his release to the booking jailer. Snider was charged with three misdemeanors, including attempting to illegally influence a public servant. Take it from the ladies, Nick: next time just start crying. [Huffington Post] Keep reading »
Last night I was skimming the new issue of Glamour and came across an article called “12 Things Guys Wish You Knew in Bed,” written by a dude named Adrian Colesberry. Surprisingly, I learned something! According to him, “in a blindfold test, most men would prefer a hand job to oral sex.” What? Nuh. Uh. I haven’t spent the last god knows how many years training my gag reflex for nothing … right? I needed many more opinions on the matter (and am happy to hear more, fellas), of course. Keep reading »
Jeez, it’s like the oldest prank-call trick in the book. How did this obvi oral sex reference get past an investigative journalist? Well, maybe the better question is: How many inches deep is he? [Fark] Keep reading »
This goes under the category of “What is happening to sex?”
Having recently read a curious post on the blog Why Women Hate Men, I have decided to take on the topic of the clitoris, oral sex, and some men’s obtuseness as it concerns this prized activity technically known as cunnilingus (a name that I once gave a puppy and, sadly, it stuck).
The post lacerated a 19-year-old guy in Las Vegas for writing a personal ad promising to bring delight to all whom responded to his free offer for unparalleled oral sex (his assessment). There was only one exception — “smelly ugly girls” need not apply. Ah, a man of such discernment. Keep reading »
Because fruit bats, it seems, have been doing it just as long as us. Very few animals engage in oral sex, but according to scientific research, fruit bats are all about blowies. During copulation the female fruit bat “lowers her head to lick the shaft or the base of the male’s penis but does not lick the glans penis which has already penetrated the vagina.” And the male bats love it so much that if the female bat gives them a little licky-licky during copulation, they’re likely to last longer. HAWT. [PLoS ONE] Keep reading »
An Ohio woman must have meant to call her shrink and not the police when she reported a crime of passion in her home. What was the crime? Her daughter had performed oral sex on her husband. (He’s the girl’s stepfather.) I think that’s against the law of basic human appropriateness, but unfortunately there is no legislation for oral sex in the state of Ohio. But oddly enough, the woman wasn’t actually upset about the BJ—she was upset about the quality of the BJ. Apparently, her daughter was better at it. The police did not show up with handcuffs (these loonies would probably think the police were showing up for a kinky orgy), but I’m hoping that they suggested serious therapy for all parties involved. Excuse me while I pick my jaw up off the floor. [Metro]
Keep reading »