The rich aren’t like you and I. They even have better oral sex! Why, Gloria Vanderbilt once had a lover who was the “Nijinsky of cunnilingus,” as she referred to him in her memoirs. Anderson Cooper recounted the story of awkwardly proofreading these memoirs during a roundtable discussion on CNN. His guests pointed out Coop likely knows as little about cunnilingus as he does about modern dance. NSFW, so pop in your earbuds! [YouTube]
Here ye, here ye! We, the women of The Frisky, hereby decree that blowjobs should last no longer than seven minutes. Why seven minutes you ask? Men, let us do you a favor and explain why. Keep reading »
Leave it to Japan to think up a game show combining blowjobs, porn stars and a timed clock. On ”Orgasm Wars,” a gay male porn stars tries to give a straight male porn star an orgasm “against his will” as he’s cheered on by a group of friends. Here, Sawai, the gentleman on the receiving end of this competitive fellatio is hidden behind a screen for modesty, while the Takuya, the blowjob-giver, bends on his hands and knees and fills the audio track with more slurping sounds than a Johnny Rockets. I watched with bated breath. Does gargling first actually help you give better head? Will Sawai climax in time? (They get 40 minutes.) Will anyone give Takuya some knee pads? And who will host “Orgasm Wars” when it comes to America? [UpRoxx]
We’ve heard titters about Shia LaBeouf’s “real sex” scenes in the new Lars Von Trier film “Nymph()manic.” Well, here they are in the very NSFW teaser for the film There are also some choir organs and baby cheetahs thrown in there as well, just to keep you guessing. As far as it all being “real” — it’s not exactly. Producer Louise Vesth explained how the sex scenes were filmed: “We shot the actors pretending to have sex and then had the body doubles who really did have sex, and in post we will digital impose the two. So above the waist it will be the star, and the below the waist it will be the doubles.”
So, it’s safe to assume that it was really Shia’s mouth doing all that work. Still, it’s more of Shia than I ever wanted to see. [Huffington Post] Keep reading »
- Quit sucking on that clitoris so hard.
- Vaginas are like snowflakes. Ask your bitch what she wants, then do what she says.
- Make the alphabet with your tongue …
- … and when she grabs your hair like she’s going to pull it off, stick with that letter.
- Vaginas deserve respect.
- Every bitch’s flap is different. Learn your bitch’s particular flap.
- Plan your breathing like your swimming: stroke, stroke, breathe, stroke, stroke, breathe.
Yeah, what Key and Peele said. Fuck all the other sex ed in America. [YouTube]