Mike* added me on Facebook and struck up conversation the day after our mutual friend – who was under the impression that we were both single and searching – set us up. We hit it off immediately. I did all the relevant Google
stalking research, watched YouTube videos where he discussed important things he learned at Yale, internally combusted over how perfect we seemed for each other and hypothesized about what our babies would look like.
Conversation seemed to be going so smoothly and I was feeling giddy as fuck, so I didn’t even bother to give myself a moment to breathe and trip over reality when he said, “Screw it! I’m driving to LA tomorrow to take you out.”
The thing is, although I get that the above was potentially just naïve by me, what followed was perhaps one of the best, most fun, most connected first dates I’ve ever had. Conversation was engaging and never ending, we laughed so much we made outright dicks of ourselves, and I felt extremely comfortable with him. I literally cannot emphasize enough how uncanny it all felt, which is a sentiment he later voiced out loud when he quipped that it felt like I was “already his girlfriend.” Keep reading »
According to The National Enquirer, Rachael Ray’s husband, John Cusimano, is a regular patron of an exclusive, members-only NYC swingers club called Checkmate. What a great name, by the way. But back to their marriage. Cusimano was allegedly a member at Checkmate since before he married Ray seven years ago. Sources say he’s been spotted at the club at least six times, but never with Rachael.
“After a bit of socializing at the buffet and the bar, John would always make his way to the back room. And every time he was observed in the coed locker room, he never took a shower alone. He’d always stop by the club’s buffet before closing to grab a few bagels for the road.”
Keep reading »
I am in an open marriage. I know what you are probably thinking because, the first time a friend said this to me, I quickly felt myself growing judge-y. My knee-jerk thought was, She’s just doing this to please her husband. How sad. And then, Oh, they must want raise their kids commune-style. Can’t relate. But now, years later, I’ve realized that every relationship is unique, and it’s about finding what works for you.
So far, I’ve found a way to make my relationship with my husband, Edmund, keep its charm, passion, intimacy and commitment. And it has happened by opening the gates. Keep reading »
The other day, I was talking to one of my lesbian friends about the difference between gay and straight relationships. “Being a straight woman, who may want to get married someday, means I have to entertain the notion of having a nonmonogamous marriage,” I argued.
“Why?” she challenged me. (I get this reaction a lot. Especially from women, gay or straight, who tend to get defensive when I say something to this effect.)
“Not to consider it would mean I’m in denial,” I replied. Keep reading »
Click here for the full image.
This map of non-monogamy makes me understand why so many people subscribe to monogamy
… it’s way less complicated. I am going to go study for my non-monogamy pop quiz now. Dan Savage
would be proud of me. [Tacit
] Keep reading »
I really didn’t know what polyamory was until I fell into it at 27. I was arguing one day with a couple I’d been sleeping with for about a month, when BAM! I ended up in a three-way relationship.
I’ve always been open-minded as far as sexual relationships were concerned and was sleeping with a male/female couple. That day, Dan was being overly critical of Ellie. I told them the nit-picking was bothering me, but it really wasn’t my business how they treated each other, since, you know, it was their relationship.
That’s when they looked at each other and asked me, “Well, aren’t you kind of… with us?”
Hmm. “Fine,” I said to Dan, “Be nice to my girlfriend then.” Keep reading »
”Open relationships” are like snowboarding. There are people who can do it very well. And then there are people like me, who will end up breaking something. I was in an open relationship once. It lasted for a couple hours and abruptly ended with me storming out into the cold, crestfallen that she had actually taken our agreement literally. I had started the evening’s revels a sophisticated libertine and finished the night a blubbering spaz. Not to mention a hypocrite. Keep reading »
Sometimes I forget things. I don’t mean my keys or why I went into the kitchen, although I forget those too. I mean I forget bigger things. I forget to be thankful, to marvel, to bask in my life and the people I live it with.
This economy has driven my husband out on the road. He’s working as a consultant. He leaves on Sunday afternoons and comes home on Friday nights. Read more …
I think there is a polyamorous trio living in my apartment building. A man and a woman live together, with their dog, two floors above me; on my floor there is a second man, who lives with his dog. I think the three of them are together because we walk our dogs at the same time, and the three of them are always together. Plus, on the weekends I often see all of them leave in a car together, which makes me think they’re on their way to their house upstate or something. Besides, the two guys really set my gaydar off, but one of the men is definitely married to the woman. I assume they don’t all live together because the apartments in my building are, obviously (as this is NYC), on the small side and besides, maybe Man #2 wants more private time. Keep reading »
I am 30 years old, single, and have been that way for a while. As I approached the big 3-0, starting around mid-28, I began to panic about my singlehood, asking myself some tough questions: “What am I doing wrong?” “Are my standards are too high?” “Do I have too much baggage?” I made a new dating motto for myself: “No guy left behind,” ensuring that all dudes got a chance. This equal opportunity dating model led me straight into the jaws of a string of freaks, losers, liars, a-holes, guys with girlfriends, and one very, er…unique guy I’ll call H.
Keep reading »