Dear Platform Shoes,
I have an issue that I need to resolve with you, but I want to do it in a sensitive and productive way so I’m going to try to use “I-statements.” Did you ever learn about “I-statements,” Platforms? According to my 7th grade health textbook, you can solve any problem by… READ MORE »
Dear Kate Middleton’s Hair,
I know it’s kind of awkward to write you a letter, because, well, you’re hair and I’m not even sure that you know how to read, but I really need to talk to you. I would have called, but I don’t know the number for your direct line.
… READ MORE »
Dear Everyone Who Has Ever Offered Me A Store Credit Card,
I don’t want a store credit card. I really don’t. I haven’t wanted any kind of credit card since I got my first one at age 18 and maxed it out in an eBay bidding war over a pair of limited edition purple… READ MORE »