open letter - Page 4

An Open Letter To The Pigeon Who Pooped On My Head

Dear Pigeon Who Relieved Itself On My Head,

My scalp is not your toilet! Do you have any idea what it’s like to have have some good morning…

Ami Angelowicz | June 26, 2012 - 12:20 pm

An Open Letter To The Michigan State Representatives Who Think The Word “Vagina” Is Offensive

Dear Sirs,

Vagina you. No, seriously, VAGINA. YOU. You’re so scared of the vagina word that you barred Rep. Lisa Brown from speaking after she used it when addressing…

Amelia McDonell-Parry | June 15, 2012 - 9:40 am

An Open Letter To The Sexually Ambiguous Guy On The Subway

Dear Sexually Ambiguous Guy On The Subway,

You got on at the same stop as me, so you might live in my neighborhood. I saw you waiting on…

Ami Angelowicz | April 27, 2012 - 12:00 pm

An Open Letter To The Guy Who Called Me “Crazy”

Dear Guy Who Seemed Cool On Our First Date But Freaked When I Said I Wanted To Take Sexual Stuff Slowly And Sent Me A Barrage Of Douchey Text Messages…

Jessica Wakeman | April 6, 2012 - 3:00 pm

An Open Letter To The EducationConnection.com Commercial (Feat. Corn Dog Girl)

Dear Education Connection.com Commercial (feat. Corn Dog Girl) ,

How are you so bad, yet have managed to embed yourself so deeply in my consciousness? Sometimes I wake…

Ami Angelowicz | March 15, 2012 - 1:20 pm

An Open Letter To My Abnormally Long Chin Hair

Dear Abnormally Long Chin Hair,

We’ve been intimately acquainted since I first noticed you my sophomore year of high school. I looked in the mirror one day before…

Winona Dimeo-Ediger | March 14, 2012 - 10:00 am

An Open Letter To The Woman Who Stole My Cab This Morning

Dear Woman With The Rolling Suitcase Who Stole My Cab This Morning,

Did you think I wouldn’t notice? That I wouldn’t see you roll past me, stop no…

Amelia McDonell-Parry | February 17, 2012 - 4:00 pm

An Open Letter To My G-Spot

Dear G-Spot,

Gee G-Spot, you sure know how to disappoint a girl. First you exclaim your existence to the world. Then you hide as my fellow ladies are…

Tiffanie Drayton | February 3, 2012 - 11:00 am

An Open Letter To The Girl Who’s Auctioning Off Her Fart On Ebay

Dear kbug1978,

I am writing to express my admiration for the recent Ebay auction of your REAL Fart In A Jar. We all know what kind of havoc…

Ami Angelowicz | January 5, 2012 - 2:00 pm

An Open Letter To My Favorite Backstreet Boy On The Eve Of His Wedding Day

Dear AJ,

I guess I should start by saying congratulations. You’re getting married this weekend. To someone who isn’t me. Still, even I can admit you guys seem…

Winona Dimeo-Ediger | December 16, 2011 - 10:21 am

An Open Letter To Timing

Dear Timing,

Oh all powerful, all knowing Timing, why must you insist on being so wrong? I mean, sure, sometimes you are right, like the timing on the various dishes in…

Amelia McDonell-Parry | November 28, 2011 - 12:00 pm

An Open Letter To Ryan Gosling, Praising His Decision* To Turn Down People’s Sexiest Man Alive Title

Dear Ryan Gosling,

I just wanted to take a moment to say that I think it’s really noble of you to turn down People’s “Sexiest Man Alive” title and…

Amelia McDonell-Parry | November 16, 2011 - 11:20 am