Posts tagged "open letter"

An Open Letter To Jessica Simpson And Other Women Who Can’t Go Three Months Without A Boyfriend

Dear Jessica,

Happy belated birthday! I hope you’ve given some thought to my suggestions in the last letter I wrote to you. It seems perhaps you have since you’ve maintained a healthy weight over the last few months and haven’t yo-yo’d all over the scale. Personally, I think you look great with a little…

Wendy Atterberry / July 15, 2009

An Open Letter To Dakota Fanning

So, we love you. The adoration campaign began way back when you played the Reese Witherspoon mini-me in “Sweet Home Alabama.” Now that you’re 15 and all growns up (by the way, the smile looks great—we know, the braces phase is never fun), we wanted to pass along a few bits of advice on how…

Nina Carbone / June 12, 2009

An Open Letter To George Clooney

Heya, Georgie, we hear congrats is in order—you’re shacking up with your newest girlfriend! Dude, you’re living the dream, you so are. Actually, hold up. Is she a cocktail waitress? And is this the waitress that you met in Vegas? Or the one that you met in South Beach? You certainly have a type, we’ll…

Nina Carbone / June 10, 2009

An Open Letter To Seth Rogen

Hey dude!
Love your glasses! But seriously, you need to gain some weight back. I’m all for gettin’ heart healthy, cutting back on the trans-fats and the beer intake, but you’ve taken it too far. How do I know? Because with all the poundage, you’ve lost your ability to be funny. Your “Saturday Night Live”…

Amelia McDonell-Parry / April 6, 2009
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