Tag Archives: open letter

An Open Letter To My Period On The Occasion Of Its Return After A Curiously Long Absence

Late Period?
Don't panic. There are other possible reasons besides being pregnant. Read More »
My Period Is Early
angry woman period
An open letter to Jessica's period on the occasion of coming early. Read More »
Period Panties
The 5 types of period panties. Read More »

Dear Period,

Thank. GOD. Where have you been? I have been waiting for the longest time to see you again, and I don’t know what you were doing or where you were at, but I am so so very glad you’re back.

Two months. Is there any good reason you were gone for two months? Your return has been sheepish; I sense that you were away for a good reason, but alas, your elusive nature guarantees that I’l never know why. I’m not sure what I did to make you leave for so long, but let me tell you, I am so relieved — and happy! — to see you again. Keep reading »

An Open Letter To The Girl Who Was Suspended From School 24 Times For Smelling Bad

Open Letter: Fat Girl
Winona pens an open letter to the fat girl. Read More »
Open Letter: Pigeon
Ami confronts the pigeon who pooped on her head. Read More »
Open Letter: Chin Hair
I pluck you, you grow back, will it ever end? Read More »

Dear 8-year-old-girl,

I read about how you’ve been suspended from school 24 times this year because of your “foul” body odor. Your mom claims she took you to the doctor and they said there was nothing medically wrong with you, but still the school continues to send you home about twice a month. Students and teachers have complained about your smell and said that it’s so strong that they can’t concentrate on school activities when you’re around. A spokesman at the school district says that your odor is so overpowering that you will have to be removed from the school until your family complies with hygiene standards. Keep reading »

An Open Letter To My Doppelganger

Celeb Doppelgangers
My brother looks like RDJ. Who's yours? Read More »
Open Letter: Baja Hoodie
Winona writes to the stranger who took the free Baja hoodie. Read More »
Open Letter: Pigeon
Ami has something to say to the pigeon who pooped on her head. Read More »
Open Letter: Chin Hair
I pluck you, you grow back, will it ever end? Read More »

Dear Doppelganger,

A few weeks ago, I was taking a walk by my house and a random lady started yelling, “Jenny! Jennnnnyyyyyy!” from her porch. I looked around to find this Jenny character she was getting so excited about, but I was the only one on the street. “Jeeeeeeeeeenny!” she yelled again, waving her hands madly to get my attention. I just shrugged and shook my head in what I hoped was an “I’m not Jenny” sort of way, and kept walking. Huh, I thought, that was weird.

Then, at the airport last week, I noticed a middle-aged couple staring at me intently from across the terminal. I sidled up a little closer, leaning against a decorative plant to improve my eavesdropping abilities. I heard the woman say to the man, “That looks EXACTLY like Jenny.” He squinted at me for a second. “Oh my God,” he whispered. “It does!” My plane started boarding before I could ask them what has suddenly become the definitive question of my life: Who is Jenny? Keep reading »

A Valentine’s Day Love Letter To My Favorite Hip-Hop Morning Radio Show

Love Letter: Yoga Teacher
Ami pens a love letter to her hot yoga teacher. Read More »
Love Letter: Starbucks
A love letter to the the baristas who get Jessica's order right. Read More »
Hell Yeah, I Love You!
Hell yeah, I love you! Getting love is easy this Valentine's Day. Read More »

Dear Cipha Sounds, Rosenberg, K. Foxx and Old Man Ebro,

Every morning, my alarm goes off at 7 a.m., rousing me from sleep. I hit the snooze button, and then 10 minutes later, hit it again. When the third alarm finally goes off at 7:20, I pry one eye open, then the other, and haul myself out of bed, heading straight for the radio. See, my day doesn’t properly start, doesn’t get off on the right foot, unless the second sound I hear (after the alarm) is my favorite morning radio show, The Cipha Sounds & Rosenberg Show on Hot 97. Cipha Sounds, Rosenberg, and K. Foxx, along with my boo, program director Old Man Ebro, you all are quite literally the reason my ass gets out of bed on time in the morning, and you ensure that my day at least starts off on the right note.

Seriously, I fucking love you guys. Let me tell you why. Keep reading »

An Open Letter To All The Publicists Sending Me Stuff For Valentine’s Day

Open Letter: Chin Hair
I pluck you, you grow back, will it ever end? Read More »
Open Letter: Pigeon
Ami has something to say to the pigeon who pooped on her head. Read More »
Open Letter: Fat Girl
Winona pens an open letter to the fat girl. Read More »

Dear Publicists,

Hello. I get soooo many emails from you. Sooooo many emails that go straight into the trash. Especially around holidays that are considered very Frisky friendly. Valentine’s Day! Yes, I’m well aware that it’s right around the corner, waving at me. Mocking me. I know that it’s your job to pitch products on behalf of your clients. Lots of stuff. Lots and lots of stuff. Stuff that I would never use or care about or write about. But still, you send it. Sometimes, every once in a while, that stuff is GREAT. So, thank you. That pair of jeans that Pacific Sun sent are one of my favorites! And the “Girls” branded Klean Kanteen water bottle is the Christmas present I wanted but didn’t receive.

The rest of the stuff … not so much. I have 12 male masturbators and a stack of New Age love and sex books (titles including Spiritual Lovemaking, Beyond Soul Mates, and I Saw Your Future And He’s Not It) taking up space at my desk. I’m hard pressed to throw out a book, but what do I do with it? I’ve been opening up to pages at random and reading passages to my co-workers. Keep reading »

An Open Letter To Charlotte Allen, Who Thinks Men Would Have Stopped The Newtown Massacre

Dear Charlotte Allen,

By the time this open letter posts on The Frisky, half the internet will have already ripped you a new asshole for your offensive, error-riddled article published in The National Review, in which you shared your “observations” about what went wrong at last Friday’s Sandy Hook Elementary School massacre. But I don’t care. I’m going to tear you a new one too. Keep reading »

  • Zergnet: Simply Irresistible

  • HowAboutWe

  • Popular