Posts tagged "open letter"

An Open Letter To The Woman Who Stole My Cab This Morning

Dear Woman With The Rolling Suitcase Who Stole My Cab This Morning,

Did you think I wouldn’t notice? That I wouldn’t see you roll past me, stop no…

Amelia McDonell-Parry | February 17, 2012 - 4:00 pm

An Open Letter To My G-Spot

Dear G-Spot,

Gee G-Spot, you sure know how to disappoint a girl. First you exclaim your existence to the world. Then you hide as my fellow ladies are…

Tiffanie Drayton | February 3, 2012 - 11:00 am

An Open Letter To The Girl Who’s Auctioning Off Her Fart On Ebay

Dear kbug1978,

I am writing to express my admiration for the recent Ebay auction of your REAL Fart In A Jar. We all know what kind of havoc…

Ami Angelowicz | January 5, 2012 - 2:00 pm

An Open Letter To My Favorite Backstreet Boy On The Eve Of His Wedding Day

Dear AJ,

I guess I should start by saying congratulations. You’re getting married this weekend. To someone who isn’t me. Still, even I can admit you guys seem…

Winona Dimeo-Ediger | December 16, 2011 - 10:21 am

An Open Letter To Timing

Dear Timing,

Oh all powerful, all knowing Timing, why must you insist on being so wrong? I mean, sure, sometimes you are right, like the timing on the various dishes in…

Amelia McDonell-Parry | November 28, 2011 - 12:00 pm

An Open Letter To Ryan Gosling, Praising His Decision* To Turn Down People’s Sexiest Man Alive Title

Dear Ryan Gosling,

I just wanted to take a moment to say that I think it’s really noble of you to turn down People’s “Sexiest Man Alive” title and…

Amelia McDonell-Parry | November 16, 2011 - 11:20 am

An Open Letter to My Razor

Dear Razor,

We go back a long way, you and me. We’ve gotten together a few times a week since 8th grade, although according to some of the…

Winona Dimeo-Ediger | November 11, 2011 - 10:00 am

An Open Letter To In Touch Magazine About Their Dumb Shiloh/Kingston Crush Story

Dear In Touch,
Shiloh Jolie-Pitt does not have a crush on Kingston Rossdale.  He is not her “first true love.” She is 5 years old. Shiloh is interested in taxidermy and…

Amelia McDonell-Parry | October 20, 2011 - 2:40 pm

An Open Letter To Ryan Gosling And His New Bleached Locks

Dear Ryan Gosling,

Oh Ryan, you’re so funny. You know, I know what you’re doing, right? Sure, you may be telling people that this new look is for…

Amelia McDonell-Parry | July 28, 2011 - 11:20 am

An Open Letter To Girls Who Say “Daddy”

Note: Let me first start by saying this excludes anyone 8 and younger and for now we are not going to even start with the girls who call their boyfriends

College Candy | June 12, 2011 - 12:30 pm

An Open Letter To Spray-On Sunscreen

Dear Spray-On Sunscreen,

Can you believe it? Summer has finally arrived! Just in time for Memorial Day weekend, the temps reached the 80s, the sun was shining bright…

Amelia McDonell-Parry | May 31, 2011 - 11:00 am

An Open Letter To Orange

Dear Orange,

I feel like you and I got off on the wrong foot. Or, at least we would have, if you had feet. You’re just a color so…

Winona Dimeo-Ediger | April 5, 2011 - 1:40 pm

An Open Letter To Chris Brown

Dear Chris,

Let’s have some real talk … I know you think you’ve been having a really bad week and everything, what with your totally unfair “Good Morning…

Julie Gerstein | March 24, 2011 - 1:20 pm

An Open Letter To Wedge Heels

Dear Wedge Heels,

My whole life, I’ve wanted to be three things: “Sabrina the Teenage Witch,” a writer, and the kind of person who wears high heels everyday.

Winona Dimeo-Ediger | March 17, 2011 - 5:40 pm

An Open Letter To Denim Designers

Dear Jeans Designers,

The other day I was standing in line at the grocery store and for no particular reason at all I had a flashback to a few…

Winona Dimeo-Ediger | December 27, 2010 - 4:30 pm

An Open Letter To My Single Self

Dear Single Self,

Hi. How are you this holiday season? Feeling a little hopeless? Downtrodden perhaps? Frustrated? Bitter? A little panicked about turning 32 with no potential prospects on…

Ami Angelowicz | December 15, 2010 - 5:00 pm

An Open Letter To The Extra Button

Dear Extra Button,

We have a strange relationship, you and I. You come into my life every now and again in a little plastic baggy attached to a new…

Winona Dimeo-Ediger | December 3, 2010 - 4:40 pm

Dear Famous Footwear, We Need To Talk.

Dear Famous Footwear,

We need to talk.

I feel like I’ve been trying to make things work with you for so long. My friends rave about you…

Winona Dimeo-Ediger | November 22, 2010 - 12:40 pm

Dear Michael Kors, You Rock.

Dear Michael Kors,

When I go shopping, I tend to channel a raccoon—I’m instantly attracted to anything shiny, sparkly, or fishy.

This means that I have a closet…

Winona Dimeo-Ediger | October 7, 2010 - 11:50 am

Open Letter To Demi Moore And Ashton Kutcher

Dear Demi and Ashton,

Congratulations on your fifth wedding anniversary, which you celebrated in bed on Friday. I know you celebrated your anniversary in bed on Friday because…

Wendy Atterberry | September 27, 2010 - 12:20 pm