open letter - Page 2

Entertainment

Dear Starbucks,

Damn you! You made me love you. I’ve been consciously resisting you since the late ’90s, when your chains starting popping up everywhere, putting my favorite high school coffee shop — Seattle Espresso — out of business. At first, I hated you on principle. I was young and idealistic and my… READ MORE »


Love & Sex

Dear I’m Too Kind To Use Your Real Name,

I am writing this letter because I’m hoping I can prevent you from ever sending another unsolicited picture of your naked penis to another human being again for the rest of your life. When I clicked on an email in my inbox with the… READ MORE »


Love & Sex

Dear Couple Sucking Face,

The first time I saw you, in Manhattan’s Union Square station, I thought maybe you were saying goodbye, for like, a long time. How else to explain the five minutes of intense, face-sucking, ass-grabbing making out you two were getting into? As you stood there, right where the station… READ MORE »


Style

Dear Abercrombie & Fitch CEO Mike Jeffries,

I used to see your brand walk up and down the halls of my high school way back in the day. Before I really even knew who you were, there you were — in the form of jeans, shirts and other fashion statements of the late… READ MORE »


Celebs

Dear Tori Spelling,

I try to ignore it whenever I see gossip stories about you. Why? Because you’re doin’ you and I’m doin’ me and what you do when you’re doin’ you is none of my biz. Usually this arrangement works just fine for you and me. But then yesterday, I got curious… READ MORE »


Entertainment

Last night, Jay-Z went into the studio with Timbaland and Swizz Beatz and recorded a new song that he released a few hours later. “Open Letter” has a relatively simple, but completely hot beat and features Hov rapping about his ownership of the Brooklyn Nets and he and Beyonce’s recent controversial trip to Cuba.
“Boy… READ MORE »


Love & Sex

Dear Period,

Thank. GOD. Where have you been? I have been waiting for the longest time to see you again, and I don’t know what you were doing or where you were at, but I am so so very glad you’re back.

Two months. Is there any good reason you were… READ MORE »


News

Dear 8-year-old-girl,

I read about how you’ve been suspended from school 24 times this year because of your “foul” body odor. Your mom claims she took you to the doctor and they said there was nothing medically wrong with you, but still the school continues to send you home about twice a month. READ MORE »


Love & Sex

Dear Doppelganger,

A few weeks ago, I was taking a walk by my house and a random lady started yelling, “Jenny! Jennnnnyyyyyy!” from her porch. I looked around to find this Jenny character she was getting so excited about, but I was the only one on the street. “Jeeeeeeeeeenny!” she yelled again, waving… READ MORE »


Entertainment

Dear Cipha Sounds, Rosenberg, K. Foxx and Old Man Ebro,

Every morning, my alarm goes off at 7 a.m., rousing me from sleep. I hit the snooze button, and then 10 minutes later, hit it again. When the third alarm finally goes off at 7:20, I pry one eye open, then the other,… READ MORE »


Entertainment

Dear Publicists,

Hello. I get soooo many emails from you. Sooooo many emails that go straight into the trash. Especially around holidays that are considered very Frisky friendly. Valentine’s Day! Yes, I’m well aware that it’s right around the corner, waving at me. Mocking me. I know that it’s your job to pitch… READ MORE »


News

Dear Charlotte Allen,

By the time this open letter posts on The Frisky, half the internet will have already ripped you a new asshole for your offensive, error-riddled article published in The National Review, in which you shared your “observations” about what went wrong at last Friday’s Sandy Hook Elementary School massacre. But I… READ MORE »


News

On Monday, conservative pundit Ann Coulter tweeted her support of Mitt Romney with the following: “I highly approve of Romney’s decision to be kind and gentle to the retard.” In response to her use of the R-word, John Franklin Stephens, Special Olympics spokesperson and athlete, wrote Ann an open letter. We’ve received permission to repostREAD MORE »


Celebs

Dear Tami Taylor, I mean Mrs. Coach, I mean Connie Britton,

Well, I guess I should start by apologizing. I’m sorry for always calling you by the name of a character you played on a TV show that has been sadly off the air for over a year. You are Connie Britton, you… READ MORE »


Entertainment

Dear Members of the “Big Brother” Season 14 Jury,

Seriously, y’all are a bunch of butthurts. As a longtime fan of “Big Brother,” I am ashamed of you for voting for Ian to win “Big Brother 14″ over Dan. (Danielle, I can’t give you too many props for voting for Dan to win,… READ MORE »


Entertainment

Dear “The Voice,”

I heard the news that you will be replacing Christina Aguilera and Cee Lo Green with Shakira and Usher next season. I hate this idea. Not because I love Xtina and Cee Lo so much that I can’t stand to lose them, but because you seem to be getting a… READ MORE »


Celebs

It appears that, following in the footsteps of the Goservention, which intervened on Amelia’s obsessive fandom with Ryan Gosling, we are going to have to have a Vanessa Carltonvention with our intern Daley. — Jessica

Dear Vanessa,

You know those idiots who have come up to you saying “Oh my God, Vanessa, I’m… READ MORE »


Celebs

Dear Marilyn,

Hi. How are you? Well, clearly you’re very angry. I’m not sure what possessed you to write “F**k You” on your face in eyeliner and flaunt it at LAX this past weekend. Well, right back at you. You seem to find it funny and so does your your girlfriend, Lindsay Usich. READ MORE »