Now that I’ve been single for a couple of weeks, I’ve been upping my online dating game in hopes of meeting some eligible bachelors. I spent a solid three hours this weekend updating my OKCupid profile, adding new photos of myself and just seeing what’s out there, and I even created a profile on HowAboutWe.com. Since then, I’ve found myself chatting with a handful of potentials— a witty lawyer, a CrossFit enthusiast (I know, I know), a financial consultant and a bearded guy who works for an airline, whom I’ve appropriately nicknamed “Wings.”
In the past, I took a pretty reserved approach to online dating, letting others message me first and skimming through my messages every once in a blue moon. But this time around, I’m doing things differently. I’m going to reach out to the people I want to talk to and cut through the bullshit early on by being my most honest self from the get-go. If your first message to me simply says “hi,” without any thought behind it, I’m deleting it. If your profile is vague and you’re not making an effort, I’m not interested. The old me is gone, and the new, no-nonsense dater is here to stay. Thankfully, my new approach seems to be paying off. After multiple exchanges back and forth with Mr. CrossFit, I received a very straightforward message from him in response to my telling him I’m a “picky dater.”
“So am I,” he confessed. “So, let’s be straight with each other. What are your dating dealbreakers? Please, be 100 percent open and honest.” Keep reading »
Let me preface this by saying that not all of my online dating experiences were bad ones. I met handful of nice, normal guys who weren’t for me and one nice and normal enough man to have a 6-month relationship with. But there were also so many who weren’t nice or normal. There were so many messages that made me feel utterly demoralized about dating and months where I would go without getting a single message from someone I would remotely consider meeting in person. All of this led me to wonder: Who is getting messages?
With the help of OKCupid’s co-founder, Christian Rudder and some OKTrends data, NYMag.com tracked down a few of the the most desirable singles on the site, statistically speaking, and asked them just…HOW? The most sought after straight woman in New York City (technically, one of the top five most desirable women who was also willing to be interviewed) was 23-year-old makeup artist Lauren (handle: formerly nebulaeandstuff, now loandthecosmos). The 5’5″ curvy atheist, who likes “hockey, whiskey, swimming in an open ocean, down comforters, astronomy,” receives about 245 messages a week and has more than 8,000 five-star ratings from other men (!). But take heart, because even the most desirable woman on OKCupid admits to being pessimistic about her prospects of finding love. In the two years Lauren’s been on the site, she’s only gone on about 20 dates. Below, I’ve tried to cobbled together some Lauren’s secrets in the hopes that they might help the rest of us win at online dating. If that’s even possible. Keep reading »
I have the dating app Tinder downloaded on my phone, but I only use it to play a game called “How many times can I swipe left in 60 seconds?” My current record is 44, but that’s because I take it seriously and don’t swipe left on every dude who pops up on the screen. But I don’t ever respond to any of the messages that various “matches” send to me and I have no plans to randomly meet up with someone I met through the site. Call me crazy, but I prefer to judge a stranger on more substantial information than what Tinder provides, which is, at most, a couple factoids and a handful of photos. So I’m really, really not envisioning myself using 3nder, a new app from the makers of Tinder and Grindr (the “gay” precursor to Tinder, FYI), which hopes to make threesomes easier to come by. But that’s me. Maybe this is totally your bag, in which case, you should watch this video, which makes threesomes look super hip and sexy, and cross your fingers this app makes it out of the development stage. But as an aside, how do you even pronounce 3nder? Thrinder? Help me. [Styleite]
The online dating scene is rough. Sure, it’s a great way to meet people, but we use the term “people” loosely, as some of the individuals we’ve come in contact with still seem to be in their primitive forms. Obviously, first impressions count … but not to these idiots.
Sender: 34, Male
Receiver: 26, Female
Tip: Asking someone what kind of panties they’re wearing is not an appropriate greeting, unless you are messaging a hooker. Keep reading »
According to Match.com’s annual survey of 5,000 singles ages 18 and up, the average cost for a year of dating is $738.36, that breaks down to $61.53 a month.That amount includes money spent on dates or to find dates. Here’s roughly how that breaks down… Keep reading »
This week on Date-Ade, the advice series for all your existential dating dilemmas, I talk about how online dating is a lot like Feng Shui.
If you have a sex, dating or relationship quandary that you’d like for me to try to unravel (no promises), send your questions to firstname.lastname@example.org or tweet @TheFrisky#DateAde.
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