Let’s be real, honesty terrifies people — probably more than almost anything else. We like to fill our social interactions with surface-level conversations about how we’re “doing just fine” and save the real stuff for a select few people we trust. Even then, it’s tempting to only confide deep feelings that reflect well on us and push the ugliest stuff deep down. Do the masks we wear cause us to lose out on potential deep connections? Probably.
Brooklyn artist Jessica Prusa wanted to see what would happen if she skipped the surface-level niceties and presented her most vulnerable, raw thoughts to strangers. So, as she explained on The Hairpin, Jessica created an OKCupid profile (originally for a nude self portrait-themed art exhibit in New York) that explores the honesty of the Internet when paired with the accountability of having your name and face next to your words. Her profile shared some of her deepest thoughts and fears, as she hoped to gauge how men would respond to blunt truthfulness instead of the “best self” we tend to present in our online personas. Keep reading »
As I approach my two-year anniversary as an online dater (AKA my slow descent into madness), I’m finding myself incredibly bitter about the fact that I still haven’t met “the one.” I’ve always believed that there are multiple soul mates out there for everyone, but that the one person you end up with is entirely dependent upon a series of choices you make in life. Kind of like a Choose Your Own Adventure book, I feel that every decision I make — from selecting a career path, right down to whether or not I should run a yellow light — will determine which of those guys I end up with. In my eyes, there’s a different one at the end of every storyline. After dozens of dates and three pseudo-relationships — the longest of which lasted two months — I’m starting to doubt my theory. Keep reading »
In a move that is sure to cause ripples in some dark corner of the Internet hive mind, the A-list subscription service on OK Cupid includes a robust search function that lets you sort by body type and attractiveness rating. To those of you prepping your pitchforks and strapping on your combat boots to storm the castle, hold off. I know what this sounds like, but trust me, it’s not necessarily as bad as it seems.
This feature has been available for months, and it’s only now gained traction, but it’s just a recognition of the way human minds work. There is nothing worse than being on a date with someone who is clearly not interested in you, whether you are fat or thin or covered in scales. Life is short! If you find yourself sitting across the table from someone that’s too short or too tall or bald or you’re just simply not attracted to them, that’s just a free beer and a waste of time. Imagine the new heights of success your dating life could reach if you were able to sort out by what you knew you weren’t attracted to! Imagine not feel weirdly obligated to at least mouth kiss some dude that bought you a lot of drinks, despite the fact you’re not attracted to him. Keep reading »
When Amy Webb, a single 30-something who had just gone through a breakup, was faced with the prospect of trying to find eligible bachelors in the city of Philadelphia, she realized the pickings were slim. How slim? After crunching some data on single, Jewish men, she ascertained that she had exactly 35 possible romantic options in a city of 1.5 million. Webb knew that she could either take her grandmother’s advice to “luck into love” or go online. Could her story sound any more familiar? I don’t think so.
Webb eventually chose to post an online profile, which she filled out by copying and pasting phrases from her resume. After a few horrendous dates (one guy left her with a bill that cost an entire month’s rent!), Webb, a data junkie and lover of algorithms, undertook the Herculean task of outsmarting online dating at its own game. Here’s how she did it: Keep reading »
This past week, I got a bunch of messages on OKCupid. Some of the guys I’d never consider because I tend to avoid men who tell me they prefer to “stay home on most Friday nights and read poetry with a good glass of single malt.” Others seemed too old for me… and that’s not even including the scotch sippers. Out of the eight messages I received, there were two contenders that seemed datable.
Both were seemingly nice guys — attractive with ambition and wit. Hot Doctor is just finishing up med school and has a smile that would charm the knickers off grandma. The other guy, whom I’ve dubbed Sensitive Frat Bro, is a sweet entrepreneur who could just as easily be wearing a toga and chugging a beer on a Phi Kappa Tau recruitment poster. Eligible bachelors on free dating websites (and in life) are pretty hard to come by, so I decided to message them back. After talking to both of my suitors (one on Gchat and the other on OKCupid instant messenger) for several days in a row about things like family, hobbies, and careers, they both brought up the topic of sex. Keep reading »
Found on OKCupid: This 45-year-old “small business owner/failed comedian” who posted a profile picture of himself in blackface. The caption noted that he was dressed this way for Halloween. (And why OKC didn’t censor this photo in the first place is beyond me.) According to Jezebel, this charming lover of karaoke who “personally identifies with” the film “He’s Just Not That Into You,”came up as a 70 percent match for an African-American dater in Ontario. Naturally, she was horrified:
“I was completely shocked … It was doubly horrifying because this guy was supposed to be a ‘match’ for me! As an African-American woman, I am currently running the gambit of emotions ranging from being hurt, feeling disgusted and also rage. There is some point where algorithms should be damned! How can someone who is so racially insensitive (I refrain from using ‘racist’ because I have experienced true racism) be a 70% match for me!!!”
Keep reading »
How quirky are you? Quirky enough for LoveFlutter? It’s a new dating site that’s set on matching your “Amelie”-loving ass with some guy who’s really into Neutral Milk Hotel. LoveFlutter aims to be the dating site of the “quirky” and “interesting,” but not every quirky person can make the cut. To get access to LoveFlutter’s pool of sexy origami-making, vegan unicycle-riding, basket-weaving weirdos, you’ve got to pass the Loveflutter test. Oh, what’s that, you ask?
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Maybe you’ve tried speed dating, hit up a niche online dating site that specializes in gluten free singles, and downloaded Tinder and Grouper without much luck. But sometimes you meet someone where you’d least expect it. Like, the bathroom. We always forget to cruise for dates in the bathroom. Keep reading »
Maybe you’ve tried online dating? But perhaps the sites you’re using are too general, and aren’t helping you meet the right people. What if you’re gluten intolerant and prefer to go out with someone who isn’t going to pressure you to eat pasta. Or what if you’re jonesing to meet a real life member of the geek squad? We can help you find one of those, too. Click through for our list of specialty dating sites that could bring you closer to finding your perfect match.
When meeting people in real life became too much work, we went online to date. When online dating becomes tedious (and it pretty much already has), what’s next? We date through apps, obviously. After all, why spend hours combing through various online profiles, when you can just tap a button on your phone? If you haven’t heard of Grouper or Tinder or Coffee Meets Bagel, then… you’re clearly in a happy relationship.
Pshh. I’ll explain: Grouper is like a group blind date; you fill out a short questionnaire and it sets you and two friends up with three guy friends who are revealed at a given location. Other apps like Tinder show you pictures of potential matches that you can choose to like or pass, and mutual “likes” become grounds for further contact. And while there are positives to such dating formats, like maximizing potential suitors with minimal effort and taking screen shots and sending them to your friends for giggles, in the end, they’re all just as bad, or even worse, than putting in your time on OKCupid. Let’s flesh out all the things that can go wrong with these apps, shall we? Keep reading »