Tag Archives: online dating

OKCupid Is Experimenting On/Lying To Users Now

OKCupid Is Experimenting On/Lying To Users Now

Last weekend, I got a curious email from OKCupid. I have a profile on the site, but rarely log in and haven’t actually messaged with or gone on a date with anyone in months and months. I still get regular emails about having new matches, but this email subject line stood out immediately: “Match % update for [REDACTED USERNAME].” Hmm. The email (above) alerted me that due to “a diagnostic test,” my match percentage with a specific user had been erroneously reported and the two of us were actually 92 percent compatible, as opposed to the previously determined 32 percent. Keep reading »

94 Photos You Will Come Across As A Straight Girl On Tinder

straight girl on tinder

Some Tinder guys are great, some are awful, and most we’ll never know about. (Whether that’s a good or bad thing is a question for the ages.) But pretty much every straight dude photo on Tinder — minus the ONE guy I saw with three pics of his own wedding — will fall into one of the following 94 categories. If you stay on Tinder long enough, you will definitely see all of them: Keep reading »

Dating Don’ts: 5 Scenarios In Which It Is Totally Okay To Ghost

Dating Don'ts: 5 Scenarios In Which It Is Totally Okay To Ghost
Dating Don'ts: Ghosting
Thou shalt not ghost your love interests. Read More »

My best friend went on a date with a man who seemed fine at first — they sat at a neighborhood bar and talked for hours. They went on a second date, but this time, the dude tried every trick in the book to get her to come to his place and have sex. She refused his offer, and tried to leave it be, but three days later, when she was visiting me from out of town, she showed me the text he sent, asking her in a very straightforward manner whether or not she was interested, or if her lack of communication was the hint that he needed.

“You have two options here,” I told her. “Write back with a one word answer, or just don’t respond.”

“I have to say something,” she said. “I can’t just ignore this.”

“Just ghost on him, dude,” I told her. “It’s easy.”

When is it appropriate to ghost? Some may say never, that each person deserves the courtesy of hearing directly that you’re not interested in them, but please, take a moment to think about how many times you’ve been ghosted, specifically how sometimes it was fine and sometimes it wasn’t. It goes both ways. Here are some common dating situations in which it’s perfectly fine to ghost. Keep reading »

Dating Don’ts: On Not Losing Yourself In Your Relationship

Dating Don’ts: On Not Losing Yourself In Your Relationship

The other day, my friend and I got into a discussion about whether or not it was appropriate to use a picture of her and her boyfriend as the lock screen on her phone.

“It’s a cute picture, but I feel weird,” she told me. “I don’t know if I should keep it up.”

“Do whatever you want,” I said. “I personally have never done that, but hey, what do I know?”

She thought about it for a while, and then chatted me an hour later. “I took it down. It felt creepy.” Keep reading »

Dating Don’ts: Is It Really So Bad To Photoshop Your Online Dating Profile Pic?

Dating Don'ts: Is It Really So Bad To Photoshop Your Online Dating Profile Pic?
Honest Dating Profile
honesty on ok cupid
This is what happens when you make an honest OK Cupid profile. Read More »

I got into an debate with my friend the other day about a topic that I never thought I’d have to discuss — photoshopping your online dating profile picture. She’s a recent adopter of OKCupid, and is what I would consider a power user, actively pursuing suitors, sending messages and going on countless dates, that swing wildly between enthralling and depressing.

“You know,” she told me one day over Gchat, “I Photoshop my profile picture.” She seemed unfazed by this admission, and took my shock and awe in stride.

“Isn’t that … dishonest? Isn’t that defeating the point?!” I asked.

“Eh … not really,” she wrote back. “Isn’t everybody lying, anyway?” Keep reading »

Dater X: Getting Back On The Horse

Dater X: Getting Back On The Horse

The first week after a breakup is always the most difficult. The rejection is fresh and the sting still burns, which makes it that much harder to remind yourself that the relationship is over, and that, despite how it feels at the time, things will get better. Those first few days are also crucial in determining how you’ll handle the rest of the breakup. The decision to end things takes only a moment, but coping with that loss can take days, months, or even years. And in my opinion, the tone of that “healing period” is set early on. Will you continue to communicate, cut each other off cold turkey, or decide to have casual sex until he realizes he wants you and only you? After my breakup with Andrew, I chose my path, and thankfully, it resulted in clarity.

When Andrew blindsided me with the truth bomb that he wasn’t ready for a girlfriend, I knew I’d be incapable of carrying on any kind of communication or relationship with him without developing muddled feelings. We both agreed it was best to sever ties. About a week later, I went out with friends for drinks, headed back home alone and found myself aching to text him. Keep reading »

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