Now that I’ve been single for a couple of weeks, I’ve been upping my online dating game in hopes of meeting some eligible bachelors. I spent a solid three hours this weekend updating my OKCupid profile, adding new photos of myself and just seeing what’s out there, and I even created a profile on HowAboutWe.com. Since then, I’ve found myself chatting with a handful of potentials— a witty lawyer, a CrossFit enthusiast (I know, I know), a financial consultant and a bearded guy who works for an airline, whom I’ve appropriately nicknamed “Wings.”
In the past, I took a pretty reserved approach to online dating, letting others message me first and skimming through my messages every once in a blue moon. But this time around, I’m doing things differently. I’m going to reach out to the people I want to talk to and cut through the bullshit early on by being my most honest self from the get-go. If your first message to me simply says “hi,” without any thought behind it, I’m deleting it. If your profile is vague and you’re not making an effort, I’m not interested. The old me is gone, and the new, no-nonsense dater is here to stay. Thankfully, my new approach seems to be paying off. After multiple exchanges back and forth with Mr. CrossFit, I received a very straightforward message from him in response to my telling him I’m a “picky dater.”
“So am I,” he confessed. “So, let’s be straight with each other. What are your dating dealbreakers? Please, be 100 percent open and honest.” Keep reading »
Let me preface this by saying that not all of my online dating experiences were bad ones. I met handful of nice, normal guys who weren’t for me and one nice and normal enough man to have a 6-month relationship with. But there were also so many who weren’t nice or normal. There were so many messages that made me feel utterly demoralized about dating and months where I would go without getting a single message from someone I would remotely consider meeting in person. All of this led me to wonder: Who is getting messages?
With the help of OKCupid’s co-founder, Christian Rudder and some OKTrends data, NYMag.com tracked down a few of the the most desirable singles on the site, statistically speaking, and asked them just…HOW? The most sought after straight woman in New York City (technically, one of the top five most desirable women who was also willing to be interviewed) was 23-year-old makeup artist Lauren (handle: formerly nebulaeandstuff, now loandthecosmos). The 5’5″ curvy atheist, who likes “hockey, whiskey, swimming in an open ocean, down comforters, astronomy,” receives about 245 messages a week and has more than 8,000 five-star ratings from other men (!). But take heart, because even the most desirable woman on OKCupid admits to being pessimistic about her prospects of finding love. In the two years Lauren’s been on the site, she’s only gone on about 20 dates. Below, I’ve tried to cobbled together some Lauren’s secrets in the hopes that they might help the rest of us win at online dating. If that’s even possible. Keep reading »
I have the dating app Tinder downloaded on my phone, but I only use it to play a game called “How many times can I swipe left in 60 seconds?” My current record is 44, but that’s because I take it seriously and don’t swipe left on every dude who pops up on the screen. But I don’t ever respond to any of the messages that various “matches” send to me and I have no plans to randomly meet up with someone I met through the site. Call me crazy, but I prefer to judge a stranger on more substantial information than what Tinder provides, which is, at most, a couple factoids and a handful of photos. So I’m really, really not envisioning myself using 3nder, a new app from the makers of Tinder and Grindr (the “gay” precursor to Tinder, FYI), which hopes to make threesomes easier to come by. But that’s me. Maybe this is totally your bag, in which case, you should watch this video, which makes threesomes look super hip and sexy, and cross your fingers this app makes it out of the development stage. But as an aside, how do you even pronounce 3nder? Thrinder? Help me. [Styleite]
The online dating scene is rough. Sure, it’s a great way to meet people, but we use the term “people” loosely, as some of the individuals we’ve come in contact with still seem to be in their primitive forms. Obviously, first impressions count … but not to these idiots.
Sender: 34, Male
Receiver: 26, Female
Tip: Asking someone what kind of panties they’re wearing is not an appropriate greeting, unless you are messaging a hooker. Keep reading »
According to Match.com’s annual survey of 5,000 singles ages 18 and up, the average cost for a year of dating is $738.36, that breaks down to $61.53 a month.That amount includes money spent on dates or to find dates. Here’s roughly how that breaks down… Keep reading »
This week on Date-Ade, the advice series for all your existential dating dilemmas, I talk about how online dating is a lot like Feng Shui.
If you have a sex, dating or relationship quandary that you’d like for me to try to unravel (no promises), send your questions to email@example.com or tweet @TheFrisky#DateAde.
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Choosing a restaurant to eat at is an easy, fun task. Say there’s a new Chinese-Cuban-Indonesian fusion place that opened up on your block. Maybe you want to go there one night, because you enjoy clever fusion and you’re hungry, but you’ve never been and don’t want to waste your money on some greasy noodles. In this instance, Yelp does the legwork for you, but there’s no such great rating system for online dating sites. Like any sensible human trying out a service, you’d definitely want to read reviews before you go there, right? Look no further — we’ve done the dirty work of reviewing and ranking some choice online dating sites in a way you’ll understand — by comparing them to food. Keep reading »
First, there was boy meets girl. Then, boy meets girl online. And now, boy meets girl online after manipulating the algorithms of his Internet dating site. As Wired explains, it helps to be a mathematician. Christopher McKinlay was a 30-something looking for love on OKCupid and not having much luck. He also happened to be a math wizard working on his PhD dissertation at UCLA, and thus he struck upon his great plan: He created 12 fake OKCupid accounts, along with a computer program to manage them and harvest every bit of information possible about potential dates. Read more on Newser…
My most recent online date was pretty bad. The guy told a date rape joke, loudly criticized anyone who dared brush up against him at the bar, and went on a rant about hating fat people. But at least he didn’t text me a picture of his asshole afterwards. The same cannot be said for Kristin Wiig’s date, who accompanied her to a taping of “Jimmy Kimmel Live,” after she accidentally double-booked. Awkward. (Also, if Kristen Wiig is my OK Cupid competition, I’m even more screwed.)
For a long time, people who did the online dating thing had few choices where to go and were lumped into enormous groups of people that were basically only broken down by male/female and straight/gay. Now, however, much like cable television, dating sites are starting to take the micro view and appeal to specific subgroups. There’s OurTime for people over 50; ChristianMingle for Christians; JDate for Jewish people; DharmaMatch for Buddhists. And now sites are starting to drill deeper down. There’s AshleyMadison for married people looking for affairs (shame, y’all). Here are 15 types of other dating sites real men and women said they’d like to se on The Stir …