In a move that is sure to cause ripples in some dark corner of the Internet hive mind, the A-list subscription service on OK Cupid includes a robust search function that lets you sort by body type and attractiveness rating. To those of you prepping your pitchforks and strapping on your combat boots to storm the castle, hold off. I know what this sounds like, but trust me, it’s not necessarily as bad as it seems.
This feature has been available for months, and it’s only now gained traction, but it’s just a recognition of the way human minds work. There is nothing worse than being on a date with someone who is clearly not interested in you, whether you are fat or thin or covered in scales. Life is short! If you find yourself sitting across the table from someone that’s too short or too tall or bald or you’re just simply not attracted to them, that’s just a free beer and a waste of time. Imagine the new heights of success your dating life could reach if you were able to sort out by what you knew you weren’t attracted to! Imagine not feel weirdly obligated to at least mouth kiss some dude that bought you a lot of drinks, despite the fact you’re not attracted to him. Keep reading »
When Amy Webb, a single 30-something who had just gone through a breakup, was faced with the prospect of trying to find eligible bachelors in the city of Philadelphia, she realized the pickings were slim. How slim? After crunching some data on single, Jewish men, she ascertained that she had exactly 35 possible romantic options in a city of 1.5 million. Webb knew that she could either take her grandmother’s advice to “luck into love” or go online. Could her story sound any more familiar? I don’t think so.
Webb eventually chose to post an online profile, which she filled out by copying and pasting phrases from her resume. After a few horrendous dates (one guy left her with a bill that cost an entire month’s rent!), Webb, a data junkie and lover of algorithms, undertook the Herculean task of outsmarting online dating at its own game. Here’s how she did it: Keep reading »
This past week, I got a bunch of messages on OKCupid. Some of the guys I’d never consider because I tend to avoid men who tell me they prefer to “stay home on most Friday nights and read poetry with a good glass of single malt.” Others seemed too old for me… and that’s not even including the scotch sippers. Out of the eight messages I received, there were two contenders that seemed datable.
Both were seemingly nice guys — attractive with ambition and wit. Hot Doctor is just finishing up med school and has a smile that would charm the knickers off grandma. The other guy, whom I’ve dubbed Sensitive Frat Bro, is a sweet entrepreneur who could just as easily be wearing a toga and chugging a beer on a Phi Kappa Tau recruitment poster. Eligible bachelors on free dating websites (and in life) are pretty hard to come by, so I decided to message them back. After talking to both of my suitors (one on Gchat and the other on OKCupid instant messenger) for several days in a row about things like family, hobbies, and careers, they both brought up the topic of sex. Keep reading »
Found on OKCupid: This 45-year-old “small business owner/failed comedian” who posted a profile picture of himself in blackface. The caption noted that he was dressed this way for Halloween. (And why OKC didn’t censor this photo in the first place is beyond me.) According to Jezebel, this charming lover of karaoke who “personally identifies with” the film “He’s Just Not That Into You,”came up as a 70 percent match for an African-American dater in Ontario. Naturally, she was horrified:
“I was completely shocked … It was doubly horrifying because this guy was supposed to be a ‘match’ for me! As an African-American woman, I am currently running the gambit of emotions ranging from being hurt, feeling disgusted and also rage. There is some point where algorithms should be damned! How can someone who is so racially insensitive (I refrain from using ‘racist’ because I have experienced true racism) be a 70% match for me!!!”
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How quirky are you? Quirky enough for LoveFlutter? It’s a new dating site that’s set on matching your “Amelie”-loving ass with some guy who’s really into Neutral Milk Hotel. LoveFlutter aims to be the dating site of the “quirky” and “interesting,” but not every quirky person can make the cut. To get access to LoveFlutter’s pool of sexy origami-making, vegan unicycle-riding, basket-weaving weirdos, you’ve got to pass the Loveflutter test. Oh, what’s that, you ask?
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Maybe you’ve tried speed dating, hit up a niche online dating site that specializes in gluten free singles, and downloaded Tinder and Grouper without much luck. But sometimes you meet someone where you’d least expect it. Like, the bathroom. We always forget to cruise for dates in the bathroom. Keep reading »
Maybe you’ve tried online dating? But perhaps the sites you’re using are too general, and aren’t helping you meet the right people. What if you’re gluten intolerant and prefer to go out with someone who isn’t going to pressure you to eat pasta. Or what if you’re jonesing to meet a real life member of the geek squad? We can help you find one of those, too. Click through for our list of specialty dating sites that could bring you closer to finding your perfect match.
When meeting people in real life became too much work, we went online to date. When online dating becomes tedious (and it pretty much already has), what’s next? We date through apps, obviously. After all, why spend hours combing through various online profiles, when you can just tap a button on your phone? If you haven’t heard of Grouper or Tinder or Coffee Meets Bagel, then… you’re clearly in a happy relationship.
Pshh. I’ll explain: Grouper is like a group blind date; you fill out a short questionnaire and it sets you and two friends up with three guy friends who are revealed at a given location. Other apps like Tinder show you pictures of potential matches that you can choose to like or pass, and mutual “likes” become grounds for further contact. And while there are positives to such dating formats, like maximizing potential suitors with minimal effort and taking screen shots and sending them to your friends for giggles, in the end, they’re all just as bad, or even worse, than putting in your time on OKCupid. Let’s flesh out all the things that can go wrong with these apps, shall we? Keep reading »
There are all kinds of terrible men to be found on online dating websites. Girl, I could tell you stories. But the most terrible of all is probably this guy, Chibuzor Akobundu (far left), a 22-year-old Nigerian college senior who was arrested for swindling American women out of $48,000. In a piece in the Nigerian newspaper Vangaurd, he explains how he did it. Keep reading »
The older I get, the better I become at listening to what my intuition is telling me. I haven’t always been able to read when something is “off” with a guy, but I’m figuring it out. And thank God.
Take this weekend. I’d been messaging for a couple days with a guy from an online dating website. Let’s call him Empty Profile. We’re calling him that because he had a mostly empty profile. He wrote a few brief lines about himself, which didn’t reveal much, but he did post several pictures of himself. We flirted back and forth and Empty Profile eventually asked me if I wanted to get drinks on Saturday night. Keep reading »