I got into an debate with my friend the other day about a topic that I never thought I’d have to discuss — photoshopping your online dating profile picture. She’s a recent adopter of OKCupid, and is what I would consider a power user, actively pursuing suitors, sending messages and going on countless dates, that swing wildly between enthralling and depressing.
“You know,” she told me one day over Gchat, “I Photoshop my profile picture.” She seemed unfazed by this admission, and took my shock and awe in stride.
“Isn’t that … dishonest? Isn’t that defeating the point?!” I asked.
“Eh … not really,” she wrote back. “Isn’t everybody lying, anyway?” Keep reading »
The first week after a breakup is always the most difficult. The rejection is fresh and the sting still burns, which makes it that much harder to remind yourself that the relationship is over, and that, despite how it feels at the time, things will get better. Those first few days are also crucial in determining how you’ll handle the rest of the breakup. The decision to end things takes only a moment, but coping with that loss can take days, months, or even years. And in my opinion, the tone of that “healing period” is set early on. Will you continue to communicate, cut each other off cold turkey, or decide to have casual sex until he realizes he wants you and only you? After my breakup with Andrew, I chose my path, and thankfully, it resulted in clarity.
When Andrew blindsided me with the truth bomb that he wasn’t ready for a girlfriend, I knew I’d be incapable of carrying on any kind of communication or relationship with him without developing muddled feelings. We both agreed it was best to sever ties. About a week later, I went out with friends for drinks, headed back home alone and found myself aching to text him. Keep reading »
I haven’t jumped on the Tinder bandwagon because something about it seems even less serious than OKCupid, and that’s sad. Case in point: Joshua, a Tinder user, couldn’t be bothered to individually message something unique to each of his matches, or even copy/paste the same message to all of them — he mass messaged all 32 women he was interested in with the same overture: “Hey gorgeous :) what’s up?” Are you surprised to learn that the 32 “gorgeous” women on the receiving end of this message didn’t take Joshua, well, seriously? Above and after the jump, the ensuing frenzy of texts from the women to Joshua and to each other. Let this be a lesson, everyone — if you don’t have time to individually message people online, you probably don’t have time to properly date them. [Elite Daily] Keep reading »
It went as perfectly perfect as a breakup could go, I suppose.
Only a few days after my last Dater X post, when I told you all about my hopes of moving things forward with Andrew, he came over to my place to hang out and, without warning, dropped a bomb on me. As usual, we made small talk for a while, chatting about our weekend plans and jobs, and worked our way into my bedroom. Mid-makeout session, I reached down to unzip his jeans, when his hand grabbed mine and pushed it to the side— a suspicious move for not having seen each other in a week. He sat upright, looked me in the eye and said, “Before we do this, there are some things on my mind that I think we should talk about.”
In that moment, I was sure he was going to tell me he wanted us to be exclusive, and ask me if I felt the same way. Keep reading »
Anybody who’s experienced online dating knows the icky feeling of being descended on by creeps (for lack of a better word) who are more interested in getting their porno on within 10 seconds of first contacting you than learning your name. Whether these guys somehow believe this is actually a polite way to talk to people (I doubt that) or are just total assholes who enjoy sexually harassing others, the rate of unsolicited dick pics in the dating world makes it pretty clear that something’s got to give. Wyldfire, the latest dating app to hit the scene, is a network that allows women to sign up freely, but only allows guys to join if they’re invited by a woman. The idea is to create a network of guys who are lady-approved and pre-screened for the creep factor. Keep reading »