Tinder is pretty basic, and at this point, everyone knows the drill. Swipe right if you like what you see, swipe left if you don’t. Message people at your leisure, while spending a lot of time dodging dicey messages from dudes you probably don’t want to talk to. Easy enough, but maybe your Tinder strategy isn’t really netting the kind of dudes you want. Maybe you’re too picky, swiping left on mostly everybody you see. Maybe you amass matches, collecting them like so many back issues of The New Yorker, recoiling in horror every time one of them messages you. Maybe Tinder paralyzes you with fear, only because you’re just not comfortable with meeting someone through what is basically an app for hand jobs and one night stands. Whatever. We all have our things. But, there’s more than one way to skin a cat. Change your game, and maybe Tinder won’t be such a slog. Here are some Tinder strategies you might not be using. Keep reading »
Most of us tend to portray a glossed over picture of our lives online. We cherry pick what we share and make sure our lives look like the best thing since sliced bread. With online dating, things are no different. We’re trying to present the best picture of ourselves as possible so we leave some things out and stretch the truth with others.
For instance, I claim to be really good at playing the bass guitar. This used to be true, but now less so. I leave out what many consider a red flag, that my best friend is a woman. I’m an inch taller online as well. The pictures I posted vary in age from being a week old to several years old but I look the same. Overall, it’s a pretty accurate depiction of me and, to me, it’s an acceptable level of massaging the truth. Some individuals, though, take significantly more liberties with the truth. Keep reading »
Residents on New York City’s Upper West Side attempted to prevent a wine bar from serving alcohol in its outdoor seating area because too many “internet people” go there for dates after meeting online. Riposo 72 in Manhattan sparked controversy at a community board meeting (well, to the extent that those kinds of meetings can actually be controversial) out of supposed fear that children will be exposed to whatever peril the area’s mostly wealthy residents assume is stemming from Tinder and OKCupid. Riposo 72′s sidewalk cafe was approved in August and had to cut its capacity in half to compromise with the community board. Now, it wants to extend its liquor license to its outdoor area, and the neighborhood is inexplicably ragey about this. Resident Al Salsano told DNAinfo, “I have seen people say, ‘I met you on the internet,’ and you’re putting that on the sidewalk? I don’t want children walking near ‘internet people’ meeting.” Keep reading »
An increasing number of staff members at Buckingham Palace, where the UK’s royal family hangs out, have been bringing people they meet on Grindr and Tinder back to their living quarters. The internet is now theorizing that this is raising the Queen’s blood pressure and that police at the palace are worried about how many guests are staying overnight without a prior vetting. Some “well-placed” sources told the Daily Mail UK that “a number” of the Queen’s staff are using online dating sites and apps. There are over 800 staff members, and considering online dating’s popularity, it’s hard to find that surprising. Butlers, maids and cooks are not allowed to bring guests into Buckingham Palace, but they can sign in overnight visitors to their living quarters (at nearby St. James’ Palace and the Royal Mews). This has apparently been going on for quite a while, but the Palace police are reportedly just now beginning to actively address the issue because dating apps are exploding in popularity.
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Samhita Mukhopadhyay asked today on Al Jazeera: Can online dating ever be women-friendly? She talks in her op-ed about the challenges of online dating after your mid-30s, the rash of gross misogynist messages you can expect to receive as a woman on online dating sites, and how Tinder was intended to be woman-friendly, but can it really be woman-friendly if its creators don’t know what life is like as a woman and have, now, been accused of sexual harassment? She doesn’t mention sites like Straight White Boys Texting, which cull their content from Tinder users, among others, and which seems like a pretty pertinent point: Even if you “approve” of them based on their profile, you have no guarantee of how a potential date will actually treat you in real time.
Her conclusion is this pretty depressing last-stage-of-grief coping mechanism: “It’s as though the offensiveness on dating sites becomes a sorting mechanism, a virtual last man standing; only the last man is (hopefully) not a drunk sexist jerk.” My god. I mean, I know what she’s talking about. I’ve been there. It’s just that I was 25 and after four months of being on OKCupid the well of all right guys had already dried up and I couldn’t find anyone who was neither sexist nor duplicitous nor hyper-defensive (I expect from previous bad online dating experiences of their own). Keep reading »
Online dating can be a wonderful thing, and plenty of couples — including our own Jessica and her husband — have met and found love through sites like OK Cupid, Tinder and Match. But it can also be a complete and utter shitshow, especially for women. While there are plenty of cool single dudes to meet online, there are also loads of entitled, misogynistic assholes littering your inbox and refusing to be ignored. Our friends over at Whisper asked their female users to submit the worst messages they’ve received from men they refused to chat with and the results were sadly and unsurprisingly vile. Let’s hope these dudes spend the rest of their lives alone. Keep reading »