My girlfriend and I met on eHarmony, so I’ll be the first to acknowledge that online dating can absolutely be a worthwhile experience. Still, it was far from a smooth journey. I dabbled with it for almost seven years, and prior to Melissa, the most memorable thing I came away with was a tome’s worth of craptacular dating stories. (Though, in that respect, I guess I do have eHarmony and Match to thank for my writing career.)
Armed with years of slow-churned cynicism, I took to the internet to see if others shared my experiences. What I uncovered were some harsh realities about online dating that no one ever talks about. After the jump, some things you might not have known… Keep reading »
Who has the time or the inclination to online date? Why bother with it, when you can just outsource it to an online dating surrogate, someone who will do all the “connecting with another living human being” junk for you. Some real peach of a guy created this Craigslist ad, in search of a woman to do all the dating heavy lifting. What’s he looking for? Funny you ask! “Ideal candidate for this job is similar to dating candidates sought: Pretty, thin, educated female in her 20s or 30s (with great taste and strong writing ability.)”
Sounds totally reasonable — as the plot of a shitty Justin Long movie.
The full ad is after the jump. [Betabeat]
Keep reading »
OK Cupid can be a great place to get a date. But delve too deep into the hidden corners of the online dating site, and you’re probably not going to like what you find. Ever take a gander at their “questions” section? It’s extensive, and covers everything from what you like to do in bed, to what you like to eat, to how you’d raise your future OKC spawn. There are literally hundreds — nay, thousands — of these questions, created by the site and also submitted by users. And LaptopMag.com trolled through and found 10 of the creepiest. Keep reading »
“I had a longtime boyfriend … That ended a couple years ago. And I haven’t found the next Mr. Right … I started to laugh halfway down the page [when filling out my Match.com profile], … It was, like, impossible …I want to do my real thing… I love dating.”
– Martha Stewart complained to “Today’”s Matt Lauer about online dating. Join the club, Martha. We all get to that place when filling out our online profiles and then we breathe through it because the option of spending eternity alone seems even worse. Way to give us hope, Martha. [US Weekly]
It’s that time of the year when people are having drinks outside, couples are PDA-ing, and I’m re-activating my OKCupid profile. I have a notorious reputation for constantly deleting and reactivating that damned profile. I believe in Internet love! No, I’m a misanthrope! I want to find my soul mate! Soul mates don’t exist!
You see, I’m a total serial dater. No, not a serial monogamist — I’ve only had one real boyfriend and he gave me a box of condoms for my birthday — but a serial dater. If you mindlessly click through a sea of ineligible bachelors long enough, it’s pretty easy to secure a week’s worth of dates. I pencil dudes in like they are doctor appointments. (Tom at 11 a.m. on Tuesday? Sure. Luke at 7 p.m. on Wednesday? That works. ) Some people suggest that I have the dating habits of an addict -- I need it! No, I totally can live without it! No, wait, I can’t! I’d like to say that I’m just filled with that thing called eternal hope. Keep reading »
We’re soooo stoked that “Mad Men” is back this Sunday. To commemorate the new season, we decided to pit the ladies of “Mad Men” against some of the creepier dudes on OKCupid. We culled messages from our own inboxes, OKCupid, Kill Me and The Worst of OK Cupid. After the jump, see what Joan, Betty and Peggy have to say about some total foolery. Keep reading »
Reddit is known as “the front page of the Internet.” It’s where millions of people go to discuss everything. Think of it as a web of endless message boards, each with their own community.
Recently, a user posted in the Reddit board “Ask Reddit” for help about a girl. Here is the original post (which the commentor later deleted): Keep reading »
I had all sorts of hope when I decided to start dating again after a long hiatus. For the first week, all the online profiles seemed shiny and new, like clickable Christmas presents. I was excited to check my email and see what gifts were waiting under my tree, so to speak.
“You have great style!” “I like Rilke too.” “What kind of writing do you do?” “Want to grab some wine?”
YES! YES! YES! Unwrapping feverishly. Options galore. Hark! The herald angels sing!
Two weeks have passed and I’m like a sulking child, facing the reality that Christmas is fleeting. All discarded tinsel and bows and presents that are no longer new. I’m left to grapple with more disturbing questions like: Why can’t I find it within myself to be attracted to short men? WHY?
I’m talking about when dating fatigue sets. When you’ve binged on dating to the point of nausea. Every profile tastes the same to you. Steaming heaps of pictures of him traveling through India. At a friend’s wedding. His love of Michael Chabon. The Macbook pro he can’t live without. The kind of whiskey he likes to drink. You can’t keep stats straight anymore. Who’s looking for an intelligent woman with a wicked sense of humor and who’s looking for a partner in crime again? You don’t remember. You just show up at the wine bar and figure out who he is once you get there. Keep reading »
“I’m an empty essay, fill me out!” the words beckoned under the Self Summary section of my brand new, totally blank OkCupid profile.
Armed with a Diet Coke and a new resolve, I was actually signing up for online dating, something I hadn’t done in three years. And not because I was in a relationship during that time, but because for the most part I wasn’t dating, first by default and later having decided to take a deliberate break.
After a long dating hiatus, when January rolled around this year I finally felt like I was ready to dive back into the dating pool. My first thought when contemplating dating was, God, please don’t make me online date again! because in the past I’d tried JDate, eHarmony, Chemistry, Match, and Nerve, all to great disappointment and sometimes even despair. My experience with online dating thus far had been that the guys I liked didn’t like me back, and the guys who did like me made me want to flee the state and join the Dating Protection Program. Keep reading »
This weekend while I was visiting my parents, my mom asked me: “Are you over the last one yet?” I rolled my eyes without answering, because that’s how I do. But I appreciated how she didn’t use his name. Like he was some shadow that slipped into my life and vanished when the sun came out. Well played, mom. But considering her question … YES, I am over the last one! Dating hiatus over. Resuming online dating. Yee haw! (Maybe I’m playing up my enthusiasm just a tad in the name of optimism.)
Within hours of reactivating my profile, my Yee haw was more like Yeek. I had almost forgotten. So many men making so many mistakes. Do they not know or do they not care? Embracing the spirit of optimism, I’m going to assume they don’t know. God, I hope they don’t know, otherwise, I’m frightened for myself. Below, another installment of mistakes to avoid online, guys, provided you actually want to score dates. Keep reading »