I’m sure this will come as a shock, but I’ve been around the block a few times. I’ve had a handful of serious relationships, a few regular fuck buddies over the years, and, well, enough one-night stands that I could probably write petition for a grant and write a sex study based on my personal experiences. Instead, I’ll share my findings directly with you! In this episode of Funny Girl Sex Guide, I’m breaking down just some of the things I’ve learned from having one-night stands.
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Ladies, if you’ve ever wondered why you’re always heading home from the bar alone, the answer could be depressingly simple: you are too intelligent and alert. Slate.com has a really fascinating piece about an article soon to be published in the journal Evolution and Human Behavior about “sexual exploitability,” or how the male of the species chooses to pursue a female of the species who seems most sexually susceptible. Or, put it in English, they wanted to find out how men figure out with whom they can score.
You should read the entire piece yourself for the full explanation, because it’s complicated and long-winded. But the bare bones version is men were studied as they responded to a bunch of qualities in potential long-term and short-term mates. And interestingly enough, pictures of women looking sleepy or intoxicated, as well as stupid or immature-seeming, were seen as the most easy lays and most attractive. Keep reading »
It’s hard to willingly endorse the one-night stand because it either goes one way or another: a one-nighter can be blissful, but it can also be a cringe-inducing horror. While a lot of things can go wrong with your quickie, most of the problems will occur during the aftermath—the morning after, and maybe even the few days after that. Here, some things that you just. shouldn’t. ever. do. Keep reading »
What keeps a couple together — and can a relationship survive the perils of a one-night stand? That’s the question behind the new film “The Freebie,” starring Katie Aselton and Dax Shepard, opening today. Aselton, who also wrote and directed the film, plays a dissatisfied wife, married to Shepard and looking to inject their relationship with a little of the passion it once had. The couple concoct a plan to give each other each “one freebie” — one opportunity to sleep with someone else that the other person picks out — no strings attached. But can a monogamous relationship really withstand a couple of one-night stands?
We want to know: Would you ever give your partner a “freebie”? Keep reading »
I’m 24 and finally had a one-night stand. I didn’t bother leaving my number or any contact information (or even my name) in the morning for fear of coming off as clingy or naïve. But I accidentally left a couple of accessories at his place, and now I have no way to get in touch. Should I have just offered him my cell number and left it at that? Do I just cope with the fact that the guy and these items are lost forever? — MC
A lot of stuff going on here, MC. First, I’m confused about you not giving him your name, and how doing so would be clingy or naïve. I mean, unless you met at one of those “Eyes Wide Shut” masquerade balls. Read more … Keep reading »
Attraction is complicated – it’s about his personality, how he smiles, how he moves, and so much more. But in that first initial encounter it’s all about the face, right? Well, this may come as the no-duh news of the week, but for dudes it depends. A recent psychology study out of the University of Texas shows both men and women consider the face the most important indicator of attraction when it comes to long-term relationships, but when it comes to one-night stands, men are more interested in a woman’s body. Keep reading »
They say that, within five minutes of meeting a guy, a woman decides whether she wants to have sex with him. But it only took me 30 seconds to know that there was no way I was screwing The Juggler.
After chatting for a few days online, I agreed to meet him at a bar in Manhattan. When I arrived, I instantly spotted him sitting on a bar stool. There was no denying that he was cute. But as is often the case with online dating, he was a little shorter and a touch older-looking than advertised.
But that wasn’t the issue. Keep reading »
We hate those people who smugly say, “I have no regrets.” If you have no regrets in life, you lack the ability to look back on the choices you’ve made, recognize mistakes, and take steps to do better in the future. We have plenty of regrets, but recognizing them doesn’t mean that we dwell on what we did wrong in the past; it just means we’re better prepared to not make the same mistakes in the future. That’s why we would never sleep with these 15 dudes again. Once was enough. Keep reading »
We’ve been around the block a time or two, and in our travels — making short little overnight pit stops — we’ve gleaned some extremely valuable information about the opposite sex. Here are 10 things we’ve learned about men from having one-night-stands. Keep reading »
I have had my share of one-night stands. In fact, a significant percentage of the people I have slept with in the nearly 10 years since losing my virginity have been one-time deals. There was that guy at Mardi Gras — hold on … have to ask my friend what his name was … damn, she doesn’t remember either. Laird! His name was Laird, right? Anyway, there was Andrew, my realtor, who showed up at my apartment in the middle of the night and I was like, “Hey, why not?” The second guy I had sex with was also a one-night stand — his name was Sean. He was really good-looking and when it was over he said it had been “lovely” and I remember he had a cute face, but I cannot remember how we ended up in bed together.
What I also didn’t remember, until recently, was that most of these one-night stands didn’t make me feel very good the next day. Keep reading »