Not even President and Michelle Obama, nor Oprah herself, could seal the Olympic deal for Chicago. Chitown’s biggest powerhouses flew to Copenhagen this week to lobby for Chicago to host the 2016 Summer Games, but the second city lost the bid today in the first round of voting by the International Olympic Committee. Tokyo lost in the next round, and in the final round the IOC selected Rio de Janeiro over Madrid to host the games. This will be the first time a South American city will host the Olympics. Brazil was a favorite to win the games — mostly because every other country has hosted before — but there was an audible gasp in the voting room when it was announced that Chicago lost in the first round. Still, I know many Chicagoans will be relieved by the results — there was a big fear of increased taxes if their city won the bid — and I for one can’t wait to watch all those hot Brazilian boys in the stands when the Olympics take over their country. [via WashingtonPost.com]

I am a female boxer. A year ago, I was leaning against the boxing ring at my old gym in New York City, fully decked out in sparring gear and waiting nervously to hop in and kick some serious butt. To distract myself, I asked my trainer, “When do I get to compete in the Olympics?” He looked at me funny and shook his head. “Girl, women’s boxing isn’t an Olympic sport.” I was shocked. While men’s boxing has been in the Games for 105 years, female boxers have never had the chance to duke it out for gold. 

Logan Campbell, a cash-strapped Olympic hopeful, recently opened a gentlemen’s club in New Zealand so he could raise money and continue the intensive training that he needs to make it to the 2012 London Games. Campbell reportedly needs to raise about $190,000 over the next two years to prepare to compete at the Olympic level in taekwondo.

Remember when Michael Phelps got in trouble for smoking weed? Well, we think the Olympic people are toeing the hypocritical line because the torch they designed for the 2010 games looks unmistakably like a joint. It’s made of of stainless steel, aluminum, and sheet molding, but that hasn’t stopped many from calling it the “Olympic Toke.” We aren’t really surprised that this sweet item hails from Vancouver, a very “marijuana-friendly” place. Maybe the designers were trying to promote British Columbia’s biggest cash crop?

2008 is almost history, and it definitely made some. We saw plenty of highs—the election of the first African-American President—and lows—the stock market dip—but as we look back at a year of extremes, our jaw still drops at these unbelievably shocking moments…

Apparently, a bunch of Mormon women in Utah—yes, Mormon women in Utah—are seeking to turn the fine art of pole dancing into a competitive sport at the 2012 Olympics. Typically when one thinks of pole dancing, one thinks of strip clubs, cigarette smoke, alcohol, mirrored walls, Lucite heels, Poison’s “She’s My Cherry Pie,” and thongs stuffed with dollar bills. With these ladies? Not so much. Instead of “pole dancing,” they call their brass pole gymnastics “pole fitness.” “I don’t take my clothes off—at all!” one woman protests. Their high heels, they explain, are for muscle building. “We are some of the safest, most-skilled athletes,” another Olympics contender reveals. Some practitioners are housewives, not Olympic hopefuls, but no matter who you are it sounds like working the pole sheds pounds. Want to sign the petition? It’s here. [Buzzfeed]

If I could still do a cartwheel without hurting myself, I would.  Just watching Shawn Johnson do those amazing gymnastic-tastic moves at the Olympics made me hearken back to a time when I would spend recess walking on my hands without worrying that my shirt was covering my face instead of my mosquito bites.  Sigh, those were the days. But sadly, a grade school in Australia has banned “dangerous” cartwheels and handstands in an attempt to avoid injuries. Needless to say, parents are baffled and kids are bummed.  What’s next: banning writing because it could cause carpal tunnel? Outlawing hopscotch because you could sprain your ankle?

This Monday, we’re upin’ our usual threesome to a foursome!  To whom do we bestow this honor? Two American teams that each won the 4 x 400 races in their sports—the men’s swimming team and the men’s track team. These eight athletes aren’t afraid to go for the gold—they came out from behind and grabbed it. Their efforts were so inspiring, even we were breaking a sweat. So, Michael Phelps, Garrett Weber-Gale, Cullen Jones, and Jason Lezak, along with LaShawn Merritt, Angelo Taylor, David Neville and Jeremy Wariner —in honor of your gold medals, we’d like to let you know you’ve also placed in our hearts. [NBC]

We’ve moved on from ogling swimmers’ bodies to admiring those belonging to the men competing in track and field events. Since it can be difficult to take in their physical beauty in events that last less than 10 seconds, here are 13 medal-winners in all of their Olympic glory.

The Today Show‘s coverage of the Olympics in Beijing has been cracking me up. This morning they featured this troupe of Chinese old women who taught themselves hip-hop dance moves and yesterday morning, Al Roker and Matt Lauer showed off their skills on the dance floor, performing rhythmic gymnastics. Poor Al looks like he might have a heart attack at any second. Clip above!

Studly swimmer Michael Phelps is on everyone’s lips, yet shockingly still single.  Although he shares a close relationship with his mama, the athlete has put off his personal life to become a well-trained machine. As the Olympics come to a close, Michael has broken records, but no one’s heart. So, now that he’ll have some free time, here’s who The Frisky thinks he should test the waters with:

America Ferrera: The sweetheart star of Ugly Betty, Phelps could easily just say he won all those gold medals for this America! Smart and successful, with a bright smile to match his—Ferrera could give this swimmer something to hold onto.

I’m more than a little into watching the Olympics. In fact, I made my friends rush through dinner earlier in the week so I could run home and catch the women’s gymnastics team finals. Last night, the women’s individual all-around competition aired, and I wasn’t able to watch them live. This really ruined my otherwise pleasant day. I got home just in time to watch the recap and got a little emotional when the announcer said 18-year-old Nastia Liukin had won the gold medal and 16-year-old Shawn Johnson had taken the silver. They were both just so excited and not at all jaded about the whole experience, which I found refreshing. Watch Nastia and Shawn with their parents and coaches on Today after the jump…

Male swimmers are not thought of as the most masculine of athletes because they have to shave their legs and wear tight suits to cut down on resistance, which makes them swim faster. But swimmers have hot bodies. Some of the hottest, in fact. They pretty much always have broad shoulders, toned backs, and sick abs. Unfortunately, swimsuit companies like Speedo started making super high-tech suits for women and men that cover their entire bodies, reducing drag and making them even more streamlined in the water. This is good for the swimmers, bad for world records, and just awful for us. We miss looking at the guys’ nice torsos and appreciate when they opt for a half-body suit instead (above left). But, I guess we shouldn’t complain too much since the suits in question were worn by the winning U.S.A. boys in the 400-meter relay yesterday (above right).

The Summer Olympics in Beijing kick off tonight with the Opening Ceremonies airing on NBC at 8pm. But when the fanfare and pageantry is over, it’s time for some serious competition featuring the roughest, toughest ladies from our great land. These amazing women will really bring out our inner patriot. So for the gals who inspire us all to keep kicking butt in our own lives because they do is so well for sport, here are the Top Five Female American Olympians!

1. The first U.S. swimmer to compete in five Olympics, Dara Torres is like a fine wine that just gets better with age. Still showing us how it’s done at age 41, Torres has already won eight Olympic medals.

Olympians—noble, athletic, competitive, and so, so very sexy!  We could watch them go for the gold all day long (especially if “going for the gold” was used in a more colloquial way). We will be glued and drooling to all the Summer Olympics action which kicks off in Beijing on Friday. To make sure you don’t miss a manly moment, check out The Frisky’s picks for the Top Ten Studliest Olympians of 2008!

You know the other thing I love about swimmers? Their little swimming briefs. They’ve really modernized the Speedo, haven’t they? Also, there is nothing sexier on a man’s body—especially if he is an Olympic swimmer like Michael Phelps and Ryan Lochte—than that muscular V on their lower torso. There is a reason why this cover of the upcoming issue of Men’s Journal has been popping up on gay sites, you know what I’m saying? Check out Men’s Journal for more insanely hot photos from the issue.