The online dating scene is rough. Sure, it’s a great way to meet people, but we use the term “people” loosely, as some of the individuals we’ve come in contact with still seem to be in their primitive forms. Obviously, first impressions count … but not to these idiots.
Sender: 32, Male
Receiver: 26, Female
Tip: Like a fine wine, assholes should be reserved for special people and special occasions. If this guy wants to see an asshole, he should look in the mirror.
Did someone send you a creeptastic or WTF message on a dating site? Take a screenshot of the message/your interaction and send it to us at firstname.lastname@example.org. Include the info in the post above. (Don’t worry … if we choose to use it, it’ll be anonymous and we’ll make sure to guard all identifying information!)
Let me preface this by saying that not all of my online dating experiences were bad ones. I met handful of nice, normal guys who weren’t for me and one nice and normal enough man to have a 6-month relationship with. But there were also so many who weren’t nice or normal. There were so many messages that made me feel utterly demoralized about dating and months where I would go without getting a single message from someone I would remotely consider meeting in person. All of this led me to wonder: Who is getting messages?
With the help of OKCupid’s co-founder, Christian Rudder and some OKTrends data, NYMag.com tracked down a few of the the most desirable singles on the site, statistically speaking, and asked them just…HOW? The most sought after straight woman in New York City (technically, one of the top five most desirable women who was also willing to be interviewed) was 23-year-old makeup artist Lauren (handle: formerly nebulaeandstuff, now loandthecosmos). The 5’5″ curvy atheist, who likes “hockey, whiskey, swimming in an open ocean, down comforters, astronomy,” receives about 245 messages a week and has more than 8,000 five-star ratings from other men (!). But take heart, because even the most desirable woman on OKCupid admits to being pessimistic about her prospects of finding love. In the two years Lauren’s been on the site, she’s only gone on about 20 dates. Below, I’ve tried to cobbled together some Lauren’s secrets in the hopes that they might help the rest of us win at online dating. If that’s even possible. Keep reading »
In a move that is sure to cause ripples in some dark corner of the Internet hive mind, the A-list subscription service on OK Cupid includes a robust search function that lets you sort by body type and attractiveness rating. To those of you prepping your pitchforks and strapping on your combat boots to storm the castle, hold off. I know what this sounds like, but trust me, it’s not necessarily as bad as it seems.
This feature has been available for months, and it’s only now gained traction, but it’s just a recognition of the way human minds work. There is nothing worse than being on a date with someone who is clearly not interested in you, whether you are fat or thin or covered in scales. Life is short! If you find yourself sitting across the table from someone that’s too short or too tall or bald or you’re just simply not attracted to them, that’s just a free beer and a waste of time. Imagine the new heights of success your dating life could reach if you were able to sort out by what you knew you weren’t attracted to! Imagine not feel weirdly obligated to at least mouth kiss some dude that bought you a lot of drinks, despite the fact you’re not attracted to him. Keep reading »
Found on OKCupid: This 45-year-old “small business owner/failed comedian” who posted a profile picture of himself in blackface. The caption noted that he was dressed this way for Halloween. (And why OKC didn’t censor this photo in the first place is beyond me.) According to Jezebel, this charming lover of karaoke who “personally identifies with” the film “He’s Just Not That Into You,”came up as a 70 percent match for an African-American dater in Ontario. Naturally, she was horrified:
“I was completely shocked … It was doubly horrifying because this guy was supposed to be a ‘match’ for me! As an African-American woman, I am currently running the gambit of emotions ranging from being hurt, feeling disgusted and also rage. There is some point where algorithms should be damned! How can someone who is so racially insensitive (I refrain from using ‘racist’ because I have experienced true racism) be a 70% match for me!!!”
Keep reading »
OK Cupid can be a great place to get a date. But delve too deep into the hidden corners of the online dating site, and you’re probably not going to like what you find. Ever take a gander at their “questions” section? It’s extensive, and covers everything from what you like to do in bed, to what you like to eat, to how you’d raise your future OKC spawn. There are literally hundreds — nay, thousands — of these questions, created by the site and also submitted by users. And LaptopMag.com trolled through and found 10 of the creepiest. Keep reading »
It’s that time of the year when people are having drinks outside, couples are PDA-ing, and I’m re-activating my OKCupid profile. I have a notorious reputation for constantly deleting and reactivating that damned profile. I believe in Internet love! No, I’m a misanthrope! I want to find my soul mate! Soul mates don’t exist!
You see, I’m a total serial dater. No, not a serial monogamist — I’ve only had one real boyfriend and he gave me a box of condoms for my birthday — but a serial dater. If you mindlessly click through a sea of ineligible bachelors long enough, it’s pretty easy to secure a week’s worth of dates. I pencil dudes in like they are doctor appointments. (Tom at 11 a.m. on Tuesday? Sure. Luke at 7 p.m. on Wednesday? That works. ) Some people suggest that I have the dating habits of an addict -- I need it! No, I totally can live without it! No, wait, I can’t! I’d like to say that I’m just filled with that thing called eternal hope. Keep reading »
We’re soooo stoked that “Mad Men” is back this Sunday. To commemorate the new season, we decided to pit the ladies of “Mad Men” against some of the creepier dudes on OKCupid. We culled messages from our own inboxes, OKCupid, Kill Me and The Worst of OK Cupid. After the jump, see what Joan, Betty and Peggy have to say about some total foolery. Keep reading »
Last night, my friend J. forwarded me an email that had been sent to a friend of hers from OkCupid. “We are very pleased to report that you are in the top half of OkCupid’s most attractive users,” the website wrote to J.’s pal. “The scales recently tipped in your favor, and we thought you’d like to know. How can we say this with confidence? We’ve tracked click-thrus on your photo and analyzed other people’s reactions to you…” The reward for J.’s friend, now that he was one of the online dating site’s elite hotties? Easier access to the other elite hotties! “You will now see more attractive people in your match results,” OkCupid raved. Uh, OK, whatever. But how was J.’s friend to know that OkCupid wasn’t just sending this email to every single user as a marketing scheme? “And, no, we didn’t just send this email to everyone on OkCupid,” they assured. “Go ask an ugly friend and see.” Turns out J., also an OkCupid user, is an “ugly friend,” since she didn’t receive this oh-so-special surprise in her inbox. And apparently, so am I, because I didn’t get one either! Hey, OkCupid, bite me! Keep reading »
Creeeeeepy. The online dating site OKCupid just sent an email informing me in the subject line, “we have data on your attractiveness.” Data? Really? So, of course I clicked on it and their email told me that based on a three-year-old photo (many pounds and a haircut ago) of me that I used on my profile, I’ve been deemed attractive enough to be recommended to date other attractive people on the site. This is apparently an “elite status” and an “important privilege.”
Funny, because this photo never got me laid, not even once. Keep reading »