This morning, just like every other morning, I got into work and meandered over to the company Keurig in desperate need of coffee to find that, yet again, the last person to use the coffee machine didn’t refill the water. How hard is it to put the container under the sink for five seconds? For months we’ve been plagued with this problem thanks to lazy caffeine drinkers, and I have been seriously contemplating the installation of nanny cams to find the culprit(s). Maybe then we’d determine who’s guilty of some of these other workplace crimes.
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A typical day at the office usually involves coffee, important meetings, creative brainstorms, game-faced strategizing, snacks and more coffee, and tons of hard work, right? Sure, of course it does, but not just all of that! From Spanx to poor punctuation in gossip posts, managing procrastination to Miley Cyrus, we’ve got A LOT running through our heads – all day long.
Thus, we here at The Stir thought we’d solve the mystery that is what women are really thinking while we’re in those meetings and cubicles! If you thought everything we muse about in the office was all snoozey business all the time, whoo, are YOU in for a wake-up call! Check it out on The Stir…
God, not another one, you think, about the endless cycle of office birthday parties. The infinite number of birthday cards being passed around for Doug in accounting or Jenny in receiving––people you’ve barely nodded your head toward in the hallway. “Do I have to say something nice about people I barely know again,” you think. Well, the lazy bastards at one Redditor’s office seem to have found a supremely lazy solution–A multiple choice check box all-purpose birthday card. Here, Joe is congratulated by most of his colleagues for getting another year old. Most of his colleagues, that is, except for Peter and Steve F., who are possibly throwing shade Joe’s way. Happy birthday Joe, from … all of us. [Digital Spy]
Last week, I had my friend Katelyn over to spend the day co-working at my house. Usually I work from home alone, which I don’t mind, but I was thrilled to have a coworker for the day, and immediately regaled her with some of the worst workplace jokes I had collected from the years I spent working in traditional offices. “Damn, is it Friday yet?” I groaned as I walked to the kitchen to get more coffee. ”Why are you talking like that?” she asked with genuine concern, and suddenly I realized Katelyn had never had a desk job. She had no idea about novelty coffee mugs and perfectly timed staff meeting zingers. It was quite possible she had never come down with a nasty case of the Mondays.
I spent the rest of the day schooling her on the basics of office humor, and decided that it would probably be prudent to compile all the worst office joke genres in one place. Whether you’re new to the subject or have been honing your “Give me coffee and nobody gets hurt” material for years, read on for a comprehensive field guide to 9-5 humor…
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I had such a case of the Mondays this week and accidentally spilled coffee all over my mousepad. My search for a replacement brought me to Etsy, where I found tons of cute, unique options that would add a hearty dose of style and personality to any desk. Ready to give your mouse a smooth new spot to rest? Click through to check out 10 of my favorites, featuring sugar skulls, flowers, polka dots, mustaches, and more!
Whether or not you have an actual husband or partner at home, apparently there’s a good chance you’ve got a special someone at work: according to a recent survey, 65 percent of workers have or have had a work spouse. What is a work spouse? It’s your closest ally at work, someone with whom you share frustrations, brainstorming sessions, inside jokes, maybe even your lunch. This person is your best friend and confidante until the clock strikes 5, when you both retreat to separate personal lives. Despite flirty undertones, the study also notes that only 8 percent of work spouses actually cross the line into a physical relationship, but does that make it OK? I’ve had work husbands before, and while it was fun at first, all of them eventually got a little too close for comfort. Nothing happened, but in every case I decided to distance myself out of respect for my real life boyfriend. On the flip side, Jessica once went through a work husband divorce that got so ugly she talked about it in therapy. So, what do you think of the “work husband” concept? Have you ever had one? Would you be OK with your real husband or boyfriend having a “work wife?” [Women's Health]
Holiday parties are like the highlight of the work year. You get to wear a cocktail dress, drink on your company’s dime, and take advantage of your annual get-out-of-embarrassment free card. On a good night, that includes busting out some dance moves, eating your fill of mini quiche, and getting just sloshed enough to make out with someone by the light of the copy machine. On a bad night, this includes insulting the CEO (who you didn’t know was the CEO because you were just an intern) and hiding in the bathroom of the Four Seasons for the rest of the night. True story, but one for another time. For now, I just want to make sure that should you choose to hook up in work territory, that you do it carefully. Canoodling with co-workers can be very dangerous. But isn’t that half the fun? Here are the eight guys you should and shouldn’t get with at the holiday party.