Working with someone that you’re dating takes a special kind of mental and emotional fortitude, the ability to keep two parts of your life distinct, with clear boundaries. It’s hard in the modern workplace. We spend so much time at work, and workplaces are getting more and more casual, making the boundaries shifting and fluid. The temptation to let your relationship bleed over into your daily grind is easy, but if you’re a nice, kind person, you should do your absolute best to avoid this. It’s cool that you’ve found someone that you want to spend time with outside of the office as well as in staff meetings and at weird company lunches. That’s a special thing, so cherish it. In the words of RuPaul, “Don’t fuck it up.” Here are some helpful guidelines for how to comport yourself when you’re dating someone you work with. Keep reading »
I used to work with someone who was smart, funny, a little goofy, and relatively handsome. From his first day, I could tell that we were going to get along. Sure enough, after a few weeks, we had a routine. We smoked a morning cigarette together and discussed weekend plans. We stood next to each other at work-mandated happy hours and drank bourbon, gossiping under our breath. If I was having a horrible day, he could tell from the timbre of my typing. We were inseparable during the workday, always there for each other, able to communicate complex sentences and emotions in a few words and a glance. After a while, I told him everything — doubts about my career path, complaints about the person I was dating, and he reciprocated in kind. From the outside, it would seem that we had been dating for years. Our interactions were marked with the easy-going nature that the best relationships have. We settled into a pattern that sustained throughout the entire time we worked together. It was the easiest relationship I had ever had. Keep reading »
Do you lack time to meet anyone because you’re so busy with work? You may find yourself wondering if it might be a good idea to date someone from the cubicle next to yours. It’d be so easy! You already see each other every day, and you have to admit — he does look pretty cute in a tie. Of course you may also love the thought of having meetings and company outings with a special someone, but step back for a minute: do you really think it’s a good idea to date a coworker? The answer (in case you needed a hint) is a big no. Need further proof? Check out these non-negotiable reasons why an office romance just isn’t a good idea on Your Tango…
In a well-argued, well-researched piece on NYMag.com, Ann Friedman makes her case for never mixing work and dating. Despite it being more convenient for 20-something women who are trying to make “serious strides in [their careers] before [they have] to make tough decisions about marriage and kids” to find potential suitors in the office, Friedman thinks that having a “co-worker-boyfriend hybrid” remains a bad idea. For her, it has to do with fostering career confidence:
“There’s such a thing as having your ambitions too in sync with those of your partner. As someone who spent all of her early twenties dating fellow journalists, I would never advise a young woman to follow my example. I didn’t suffer any professional disasters, but I did have to deal with a lot of personal anxieties I might not have experienced otherwise…I don’t think it’s a total coincidence that I’ve been most professionally successful in the years since I instituted my ‘no journo’ dating rule. Once I disentangled my feelings about my relationships from my feelings about my own work and career, I was more confident and could make clearer choices in both areas of my life.”
I respect the point she makes, but I tend to think of the choice to date a co-worker as one made on a case-by-case basis depending on circumstances, career field (who would celebs date if they didn’t date each other?) and personal readiness, not by a moral imperative. Ah, I’m such a relativist when it comes to love. Keep reading »
There are some seriously varied statistics out there, but a couple of years ago, The Wall Street Journal reported on a study saying that 18 percent of married couples meet at work. That’s a whole lot of employees who took the plunge and decided to ask out their co-worker.
Since Valentine’s Day isn’t exactly a paid holiday, unless of course you and your spouse own your own company, it’s possible that you’re sitting around the office today eating chocolates from your mom and considering Mr. Right. Who knows, he might even be down the hall working in the graphic department. Or maybe he’s scanning your browser history from IT. (Yea, you probably shouldn’t have shopped for bachelorette gifts at work…) Read more…