Do you lack time to meet anyone because you’re so busy with work? You may find yourself wondering if it might be a good idea to date someone from the cubicle next to yours. It’d be so easy! You already see each other every day, and you have to admit — he does look pretty cute in a tie. Of course you may also love the thought of having meetings and company outings with a special someone, but step back for a minute: do you really think it’s a good idea to date a coworker? The answer (in case you needed a hint) is a big no. Need further proof? Check out these non-negotiable reasons why an office romance just isn’t a good idea on Your Tango…
Tag Archives: office romance
In a well-argued, well-researched piece on NYMag.com, Ann Friedman makes her case for never mixing work and dating. Despite it being more convenient for 20-something women who are trying to make “serious strides in [their careers] before [they have] to make tough decisions about marriage and kids” to find potential suitors in the office, Friedman thinks that having a “co-worker-boyfriend hybrid” remains a bad idea. For her, it has to do with fostering career confidence:
“There’s such a thing as having your ambitions too in sync with those of your partner. As someone who spent all of her early twenties dating fellow journalists, I would never advise a young woman to follow my example. I didn’t suffer any professional disasters, but I did have to deal with a lot of personal anxieties I might not have experienced otherwise…I don’t think it’s a total coincidence that I’ve been most professionally successful in the years since I instituted my ‘no journo’ dating rule. Once I disentangled my feelings about my relationships from my feelings about my own work and career, I was more confident and could make clearer choices in both areas of my life.”
I respect the point she makes, but I tend to think of the choice to date a co-worker as one made on a case-by-case basis depending on circumstances, career field (who would celebs date if they didn’t date each other?) and personal readiness, not by a moral imperative. Ah, I’m such a relativist when it comes to love. Keep reading »
Forty percent of employees have dated a co-worker at some point in their career, the Wall Street Journal reports. Though office dating bans have gone out of vogue, employers and their general counsels described to the Journal‘s Jennifer Smith how they manage the romances that can make workplaces uncomfortable and topple careers, including, recently, Best Buy executive Brian Dunn. The Cut has reinterpreted their collective wisdom into a five-point guide for cock-blocking everyone you work with.
Gossip. Salt Lake City trucking company C.R. England, Inc. told the Journalit tolerates dating but relies on “tips from other employees” to find when an in-office relationship has become “a distraction.” A most aggressive HR department could reverse-gossip, tipping the tipsters off to employee factoids that might make the relationship less attractive. Did you hear Brian claimed seven dependents on his W-4? And he’s never been married. Read more…
There are some seriously varied statistics out there, but a couple of years ago, The Wall Street Journal reported on a study saying that 18 percent of married couples meet at work. That’s a whole lot of employees who took the plunge and decided to ask out their co-worker.
Since Valentine’s Day isn’t exactly a paid holiday, unless of course you and your spouse own your own company, it’s possible that you’re sitting around the office today eating chocolates from your mom and considering Mr. Right. Who knows, he might even be down the hall working in the graphic department. Or maybe he’s scanning your browser history from IT. (Yea, you probably shouldn’t have shopped for bachelorette gifts at work…) Read more…
When I was 25 years old, I was in a band. It was a dinky little coffeeshop folk-rock band, but MAN it was fun. I had just enough skill to compose but not enough to accompany myself, so I made embarrassing recordings of half-formed songs, brought them to my bandmates, and we workshopped them together. You know how being the lead singer of a band looks really fun? Well, it IS. Seriously. Keep reading »
For the past couple of months, I have been flirting with a co-worker who was very shy at first, but took an interest in my hobbies, complimented me every day, gave me pet names, and generally seemed very interested. After a month and a half, he finally asked me for my number and I kind of “helped him along” by asking when he could hang out. I was so excited about our date, but he canceled last minute for a legitimate reason and asked if we could reschedule. Even though he stopped by my office to flirt and chat the next week, he never rescheduled but asked what I was doing that weekend and seemed upset and walked away when I said that I was spending time with a male friend. When I told him my friend was gay, he perked up and kept the conversation going, and I told him to call me if he wanted to hang out and he said he would.
Well, he never called or texted to say that he wouldn’t be available, but first thing Monday morning he asks if I was feeling better (I had been sick the week before), told me I looked nice, and apologized for not calling because he (being the nice guy) ended up helping a friend move. I gave him the cold shoulder. I am so confused about the inconsistency between his flirtatious interest and his non-committal attitude toward getting to know me more that I deleted his number, defriended him on Facebook, and haven’t been speaking to him. He looks very sad when I see him, but I feel like I may have read him wrong this whole time and am afraid that he’s only been nice because he doesn’t know how to say no to me. Did I give up too soon or should I just MOA? — Office Crush(ed)
Before I start here, I need to explain why the distinction between the type of “work” I’m talking about here is different from the typical kind of “job” drudgery lamented in endless Dilbert comics and annoying Facebook status updates. The type of workplace referenced here is the kind that serves as a funnel for your passions, not an obstacle between you and the weekend. Keep reading »
Getting over a breakup is difficult enough without the complication of having to see that person each day. When your ex is a co-worker, remaining professional may seem impossible. Rather than quit a good job, get along with your ex as a professional. After the jump, five tips to ensure a peaceful nine-to-five … post-breakup. Keep reading »
When I read the gossip about Vanessa Paradis allegedly feeling so threatened by her man Johnny Depp’s upcoming on-screen sex scene with Angelina Jolie that she “forbade” him to take part in it, I rolled my eyes. Yeah, right.
My boyfriend, however, didn’t think this was a ridiculous rumor at all. “I think she’s being smart,” he said. Huh? Like Angelina Jolie is this all-powerful sex monster that zaps men of their free will and judgment, rendering them helpless at her feet, regardless of how attached and in love they might be?
I raised an eyebrow.
“It’s Angelina Jolie,” he insisted (emphasis his). Well, I see how long I’d last if my man were to come face-to-boobie with Ms. Jolie. Keep reading »
I guess I’ve been lucky in my romantic dealings with coworkers; one turned into a long-term relationship that outlasted the job and the other two were just pleasant dalliances that fizzled out naturally. Which is probably why I’ve always rolled my eyes when I hear so-called experts yammer on about how you should avoid dating people you work with at all costs. I mean, sure, stay away from the boss or anyone who reports to you, but if you’re both on equal footing, who cares? Keep reading »