Tag Archives: nudity

Dealbreaker: The Never Nude Dude

If you’re an Arrested Development fan (if you’re not, shame on you!) you’ve certainly had a good laugh or three at Tobias Funke, the never-nude. In sitcom humor, the idea of a grown man who refuses to be naked is funny but, let me tell you, in real life it is not. In fact, it’s near tragic.

My first boyfriend was, well, my first everything. He certainly wouldn’t have won a Brad Pitt lookalike contest, in fact, he probably wouldn’t have even been invited to compete, but he was funny and that’s how he hooked me. We were both in high school, but he had more bedroom experience than I did so I always let him take the lead, which is why I never questioned his insistence on leaving on his undershirt. That’s right, he’d take off his polo or his long-sleeve t-shirt but never that white Hanes V-neck. I always thought he kept it on just in case the parents returned home early. Now that I look back on it, I see how absurd that was. Keep reading »

The Daily Hotness: Daniel Radcliffe

Harry Potter isn’t afraid to put it all out there. Daniel Radcliffe, who starred as the magical teen titan Harry Potter, earlier this week admitted he has neurological disorder, dyspraxia, which affects his coordination. But he can still cast a spell on you! Just check out his pony play spread in the September issue of Vogue. He’s riding horses and they’re all bareback — giddy up! Although the weird fetal/grandpa shot creeps us out, we’ll blame it (like the Miley Cyrus photo controversy) on famous photographer Annie Leibovitz. Sure, he says he stripped down to promote the new Broadway play he’s horsing around in — Equus — but we’ll take any excuse to see this barely legal babe in the buff! [Trend Hunter] Keep reading »

The Hard & Soul Of Forgetting Sarah Marshall

Yesterday we posted a review of Forgetting Sarah Marshall, a movie which has an R-rating despite the fact that there’s a whole lotta peen to be seen. Apparently, the film was able to avoid an NC-17 rating because the ratings board told the filmmakers that star Jason Segal’s penis would have to remain flaccid during the scene in which it’s exposed — an erect penis would have garnered an NC-17 rating. We’re not quite sure why a shriveled penis is less “offensive” than a hard one. Is it because a hard penis implies sexual arousal and THAT is what is inappropriate for children under 17? Segal says that in order to comply with the board’s standards, while still not embarrassing himself on a celluloid with a cold and shriveled package, he went for just slightly engorged. We asked our friend Jon how he would do such a thing, and Jon said that he probably got himself aroused and then let his boner subside a bit before filming began, getting that “meaty” effect. We swear, we have not learned so much about penises in our entire life as we have in the last two days. Anyway, what do you think about how this movie is rated? Do you think it’s strange that the film ratings board makes such a, um, stiff distinction between the two? Keep reading »

Hot Piece of Ass: Eva Mendes

With skin cancer making fake and bake salons passé, our half-hearted bronze is the result of layers upon layers of tinted lotion rather than years of amazing Latin genetics like Eva Mendes. The star of We Own The Night is a freaking hottie, has the kind of curvy body that should knock some sense into the eating disorder community, not to mention a goofy-meets-exotic appeal that makes her sex on a stick for women as well as men. PETA’s tactics are a little annoying in our opinion, but we (and probably all of mankind) appreciate their “I’d Rather Go Naked” campaigns — especially this one. Keep reading »

Christina Aguilera: The Most Virginal Pregnant Lady Almost Ever

Dude, we realize she’s been airbrushed, but a super preggo Christina Aguilera on the cover of Marie Claire looks super gorgeous. Why is it that pregnant ladies can get all nudie and it’s considered beautiful and elegant and sweet, but non-knocked up women getting nekkid for the camera is considered porn? Is it because being in the pregnant state is considered clean and innocent? We’re not saying we disagree, but it’s just odd because, clearly, if you’re with child, you’re no virgin, unless your name is Mary and you hail from Nazareth. [Marie Claire] Keep reading »

Mitt Romney Implies God Made Man And Man Couldn’t Control His Boner

Admittedly, we’re not the most religiously educated group of folks on the internet, but maybe someone should take away Mitt Romney’s Book of Mormon and give him a good hard spanking with it. An ABC News blogger notes that while on the campaign trail in New Hampshire, Romney pointed out the large leaves in a couple’s front lawn and said, “Adam and Eve would not have looked as promiscuous if they had had leaves this big.” Um, correct us if we’re wrong, but Adam and Eve didn’t start rocking the foliage until after they ate the forbidden fruit and became ashamed of their nekkidness. For a man who wears his faith on his sleeve, Romney is scarily ignorant to God’s word. And second of all, if you’re the only man on Earth and you have sex with the only woman on Earth, how does that make you promiscuous? [ABC News] Keep reading »

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