“I am an 18-year old college student. I have been dating an amazing guy who is nine months older than me for over two years. He is also in college, but we go to different universities. We have been having sex since I was 17 and the only problem has been my mother, who has disapproved. I thought that when I was in college she would leave me alone. realize that I am an adult, and give me some freedom. But no. When I recently told her that I had spent the night with my boyfriend, she got mad and said that I should have asked her. She doesn’t know that we have sex (after two years, she could hardly assume two hormonal teenagers would behave like saints), but how can I tell her to back off and that I am not her little innocent girl anymore?” — Bird Who’s Left The Nest, via email Keep reading »
“How easy is mono to get from brief sexual contact?” — Curious About The Kissing Disease, via email
Mono, short for mononucleosis, is known as “the kissing disease,” and is easily transmitted through saliva. So unless you’re not making out during sex (who are you, Julia Roberts?), then you’re able to get it through sexual contact…even the very brief kind. (FYI, he might want to get that checked out.)
As a matter of fact, I can tell you I’ve had mono three times. The first two times I got it I hadn’t even HAD sex yet, and was not making out with anybody (blame braces and red eyeglasses). I just happened to share a beverage or two with people at some high school parties. If I had known my entire Spring Break would have been ruined that one year, I would have saved my six-pack of Zima for myself. Keep reading »
“My boyfriend is uncircumcised and super sensitive when I give him oral. I do enjoy giving head most of the time and I’ve honestly never received any complaints from previous boyfriends. However, I just haven’t found quite the right maneuver that completely blows his mind (no pun intended). Do you have any suggestions?” — In Need Of Technique, via email
“I’ve recently begun a relationship with a man that started out as a friendship. We know a lot about each other and have taken time getting to the sack. ‘K’ was born in England and therefore was not circumcised. What do I need to know about going down on an uncircumcised man? Help! We are so ready to go there but I’m afraid of… well, I don’t know what I’m afraid of!” — Not Sure What To Do With A Turtleneck, via email Keep reading »
“I am a new mother of my fourth child. During the last couple of months of my pregnancy, my husband was uncomfortable having sex with me. I felt rejected, but kind of understood. This led to a good three months of no sex. By the time we DID it, it was awkwardly uncomfortable for me. I still felt like a whale. It is now two months since that first time, and we’re still not at normal speed. We used to have sex at least twice per week. The last time we had sex was three weeks ago. I feel rejected, further, and I have no confidence to initiate anything. I feel lonely and heartbroken. I love him, and I have no intentions of leaving him, but I can’t imagine allowing him to see me naked again. Is it possible to put off sex until I lose more baby-weight? I know that it could boost my confidence to tone up and give my body a good makeover. Can a relationship survive no sex during the time it would take to lose about 30 pounds?” — New Mom In Crisis, via email Keep reading »
“Ugh, the guy I have been dating will not shut the hell up during sex! He’s always directing me (“do this…do that”) or giving a play-by-play of every second (‘I love seeing your breasts bounce, blah blah blah’). How do I politely tell him to BE QUIET?” — Wishing I Was Deaf, via email
Ugh…that would drive me crazy! For me, talking non-stop in bed is like talking in the movies…totally uncalled for and annoying. But some chicks are super into it, and that’s probably why this guy you’re dating does it. An ex of his probably said, “Oooh, yeah. Tell me what you’re doing to me right now. Talk dirty to me!”, and he decided to work it into his sexual arsenal. All it takes it one girl to eff it up for the rest of us.
Go ahead and undo the damage caused by that beyatch and tell him talking during sex makes you feel weird. Tell him you’re not used to it and it takes your focus away from him. If he doesn’t understand or like what you’re saying, then you might be too late to save this one.
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Should I be worried that I think about Daniel Craig every time I have sex with my boyfriend? — Boning For Bond, via email
For the most part, fantasies are a healthy part of a sexual relationship. Letting images filter into your mind during sex is natural, and feeling anxiety about them only makes sex less enjoyable. Fantasies can be worrisome when they’re obsessive, or focus on one person. Thinking only of Daniel Craig or an ex when you have sex could signal a bigger problem with you or your relationship.
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“Should I be worried that my boyfriend has been secretly watching Internet porn?” — Dating Mr. Skin Flick, via email
Internet porn for guys is like sex for our parents…they all do it, we just don’t want to think about it (and they don’t like to admit it).
A healthy amount of porn for guys OR girls is absolutely nothing to be worried about. If your boyfriend secretly watches porn it doesn’t mean he’s “cheating” on you. It just means that your guy is average, and falls into the statistic that guys think about sex every seven seconds. He also probably feels a little embarrassed that he does it. This is all totally normal. Keep reading »
“The guy I’m dating is seriously under-endowed. Is this a total deal-breaker?” — Dick-appointed, via email
Have you had sex already? If you have, then you know the answer better than I do. Just ask yourself this: Was it good?
When women experience orgasms during sex, it usually has nothing to do with how far in a penis goes or how wide. Most women’s orgasms are clitoral, and are achieved when pressure from the man’s pelvic bone rubs against her. The G-spot (which needs to be stimulated in order for a vaginal orgasm to be achieved) doesn’t exist in every woman, but those who do have it can reach it with their finger. I don’t know when the last time you measured your finger was (I measure mine all the time), but it’s not that long. Get my drift?
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“My girlfriend has Vaginismus. We have a great relationship and we hook up orally and with hands a good amount. Unfortunately, because of her condition, we can’t have sex because it is really painful for her. Obviously I am never going to push it on her because it is WAY harder for her than it is for me. But I’m still a guy and I can’t help wanting to do it. Fortunately, she’s in physical therapy for it now. My question is, how likely is it that she will get better, at least to the point of being able to have sex comfortably?” — Concerned Boyfriend, via email
If you ever want to imagine what Vaginismus is like, have a friend pretend to poke you in the eye. Know what happens? Your eye suddenly closes as the object gets closer. In the case of your girlfriend, your penis is the “poker”, and her vagina is the “eye.” Sooo not fun.
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